Has my 3 year old got adhd or autism? Or is he normal?

[Shootingstar2289]

My son in 3 and 2 months. He is a very loving little boy, sometimes too clingy and has no sense of personal space. He is never aggressive - never hits or bites etc.

He is severely speech delayed. Despite this, speech therapy is non existent as the therapist in my area is too busy to see him often. She's seen him twice for ten minutes. He's also seen a pediatrician who said as long as he's where should be with everything else she doesn't see a problem. But I can't help but worry there is something wrong.

At home, he is a very good little boy. He will sit still for periods of time to watch Tv, eat etc. But I can't say he plays with many toys. He often gets them out for the sake of it and doesn't play with them. When he does his play is not very imaginative. He tries to grab my iphone and will play with that for HOURS so I hide I away.

He can be quite clumsy and never looks where he's going.

Sometimes, at the park or soft play he's more interested in playing with things he shouldn't. For example he will sit and stare at an arcade game or watch something move up and down. At toddler group he was more interested in opening and shutting the door and turning the taps on name off. Although he is getting better at playing at the park etc.

I'm public. Well he can be a nightmare. In shops he won't stand still for a few seconds. He starts to run off. And often runs out the door and I have to drop everything and run after him. He refuses to wait in a queue and will touch things he shouldn't. For example he other day he was lying on the floor in a shop and turned the fridge off - embarrassing moment. In the frozen aisle he has to open and shut the doors repeatedly.

If he sees a gate open, he has to shut it.

He has a huge love for animals of any kind. Which I think is good but heard autistic children can have an affinity for animals.

He is excellent at putting things together, building things etc but cannot ride a scooter or pedal a bike - despite how much I've tried to teach him. He would rather push them.

He is not potty trained. I've tried and he has done well. But he next day he just pees and poops on the floor even right next to the potty.

I feel like I never get a break and end the end of my tether.

I try to be really strict. I would never hit or smack obviously but try to to be firm shouting no to him. Which I hate doing.

If you are concerned, ask for an assessment for ASD with people who are specifically trained to diagnose it. There is never a downside to doing this, particularly since the benefits of early intervention are so clearly documented and well known. If it comes back that he is not on the spectrum, then you've lost nothing by ruling it out and you can just proceed knowing that is not something to be concerned about.

If, otoh, the assessment shows that he is on the spectrum, the dx enables access to a range of services and interventions that are all but impossible to access otherwise.

I am not an expert in ASD. I have 2 children, one of whom has autism and the other has autism and adhd. They are totally different in all ways . That said, what you describe does not scream autism to me. But maybe there are other things that are making you think this is a possibility? Have you read up on the triad of impairments? Do you recognise him in this?

I agree with Hec - doesn't necessarily scream Autism at me, but there are a lot of things there that I can understand are making you concerned. It would seem to make sense to ask for a full paediatric assessment and see what comes from that. At 3y2m there are a number of things that say 'let's have a closer look at this' to me.

I would suggest you change the title of this thread re: the word 'normal'

All sounds perfectly normal to me.

Yes I agree with others. It doesn't scream autism to me either, but more towards (maybe, I am not a professional) dyspraxia, which can include verbal dyspraxia. You have to be very persistent with both GP and health visitor, ask ask and ask again for a full assessment. Have you had his hearing checked? That alone could explain a number of things.

Agree with rocketjam-ask for a hearing test for him in the first instance

Hearing test, I'd also seriously limit his screen time so he is around and paying attention to others speaking and watching mouth movements rather than transfixed by the screen.

This might seem like a silly question but have you got down with him and helped him play with his toys so he knows what to do?

it could be ASD, maybe ask the HV for a referral to be assessed

Love your name Branleuse. Made me giggle

In a lot of ways he sounds like any 3yo, OP.
Have you looked into private speech therapy? A lot of early speech therapy is homework for you, so even just a few private appointments could be immensely helpful to kickstart what your son needs.

Sounds more like dyspraxia than asd to me. Get him checked out by the GP. DS1 is currently undergoing assessment for dyspraxia/asd. I wish I'd gone to the GP sooner with my concerns (poor motor skills, poor working memory and some social issues).

I worked with someone who was dyspraxic. Sounds the more likely. I'd have a chat with your gp.

Doesn't sound like ADHD - your little one seems to have good impulse control and concentration skills. He is still just a toddler so could just be that he is still developing

you need a referral to a developmental paediatrician (not just a 'normal') paed.

make a list of all your concerns, take it to GP and get referred. do not take no for ab answer.

also sort a hearing test.

if NHS Salt in your area is that bad, go private ut you can.