3 year old - hair twisting / pulling

[englishbreakfast]

It's been a long time since I posted. DD is 3.4 and for the last few months got into a habit of hair twisting and pulling. She has now developed a bald (ing) spot on one side of her head, and although it's not not very visible yet, it's fairly large and growing. I don't know what approach to take to help her stop. She does this all the time, when she's eating, playing, watching TV, going to sleep, sitting, standing, waking up. ALL THE TIME!! We've tried distracting, telling her off, bribing and threatening to withdraw treats, but nothing works. When I tell her off her about it, she gets more stubborn and pulls her hair even more to spite me, when I praise her for not doing it, it works for a few minutes and then she's back to it. I don't know what to do. Has anyone got a DC who has/had a similar problem, and any solutions you might suggest??

Go to the GP about it. She may need some cognitive behaviour therapy bless her. This must be very hard to see.

Hi. My DS started doing this when he was 3 too. I knew it wasn't about the pain of it, but about the feeling of the hair, as he used to pull my hair out too when he was feeding as a baby! The only thing that got him to stop was giving him a very short haircut, which got him out of the habit. Once his haircut grew back he never did it again, thank goodness (though he does peel his fingernails off, so I never have to cut them) - he's now 8 btw. Sorry the very short haircut wouldn't be so easy with a girl.

I did exactly the same as a small child, and remember doing so. Looking back on it I can only assume it was a compulsive thing - I enjoyed doing it, I liked the feel of my hair around my finger, and I can remember the satisfaction of pulling it out.
My parents were constantly telling me to 'stop twiddling', and showed me the bald patches on both sides of my head with a mirror. I didn't care.

I eventually outgrew it at about 4 and a half I think. I'm sure I had stopped it before I started school. I think my parents were on the verge of taking me to see someone about it when I stopped of my own accord. I don't know why I stopped - but I do remember feeling like it just didn't feel the same any more, as if the satisfaction of it had disappeared.

As for how to discourage her I don't know, not very helpful in that respect sorry! Just thought I'd share the associated feelings I experienced with it as a child, in case that can give you some insight as to why she does it - of course she may well feel totally different to how I did!

Thank you! I am a life-long nail biter (on and off - more off than on as I get older but still do it occasionally...), so I understand a little about compulsion, and I REALLY-REALLY hope she outgrows it. She also recently started sucking her finger(s), which is really weird as she never even used a dummy as a baby, so I'm not sure what is going on here. I probably need to take her to GP, will make an appointment next week as it's really bugging me. I've thought about cutting DD's hair short, but that is going to be the last resort. She loves her hair (and so do I) and I worry it might be quite traumatic for her to have it cut very short as it'll need to be, so I'm really hoping that there may be a different way of resolving the issue.

Good luck, I hope you come up with a solution x