Why do I feel so boring?

[aimees75]

I have a 16mo DS who is just amazing. He is an IVF baby and I lost his two siblings in the womb. I had PND last year and took prozac which was great but had to stop as we decided to try ivf again, which recently failed. I feel depressed sometimes and fine at other times, but mainly I just have no confidence anymore and I feel so boring. I can't remember what I used to talk about with people before i had a baby, but I feel everyone is bored when I talk, I feel awkward like a teenager, and when I go out with friends I feel dull and unable to let go, even if we're drinking I dont tend to laugh and enjoy myself like I used to. I'm always exhausted. Ive become convinced me and my OH are the least favourite of all our friends and that people find us awkward and not easy company. As soon as I find out that any friends have plans together that don't involve me, I get terribly upset and can feel almost devastated for days. Did anyone else find that they lost their confidence after having a baby? I have a Dr appt this Friday and may ask to go back on prozac again, even though we are doing ivf again soon.

Yes I lost my confidence for at least the first year, I still dont think I'm exactly the same as before but I think I've got to like a new contented me who isn't as bothered about socialising instead of dissecting why I'm so far out of my comfort zone socially.
I remember if I called or text someone and they didnt pick up or reply quickly I would feel like they were avoiding me, I convinced myself I was some how irritating to people or something.
I know there is a big emphasis on not losing identity, but actually I'm happier knowing it's ok to be content for now.
I didnt feel I could talk to my friends at the time but when I started to feel better I mentioned it to a couple of friends and it did make me feel better.