2 YEAR CHECK

[alexsmum]

My ds is due to go for his 2 year check on Friday and I'm just wondering if anyone can tell me what to expect.What will they expect him to be able to do? Dh says I only want to know so that I can make ds swot!!! Not that i'm competitive you understand!!
Seriously, if anyone can tell me I'd be grateful.
Thankyou!!

From what I remember, most of the 'tests' were done just by watching your child play with certain toys, my HV just gave him things to play with and watched how he behaved with them.

Sorry to hi-jack this thread but it has reminded me.....My son had his '2 year' check at 18 months. I did question at the time that it was early but the HV said oh no, they are done between 18months & 2 years. However everyone else I know has had there's at 2 years no one else was early? Should I persue another test or is it not really relevant. He has changed so much in last 6 months.

However for alexsmum:- the test that was carried out (back then) was in my home to see my ds in his own surroundings. she watched how he played with toys, what words he used and asked me questions about his capabilites...could he walk up the stairs, feed himself with a fork, draw with a crayon etc etc. She also seemed obsessed that he was still in a cot? but I let that wash over me, it was her problem not mine...I felt he was not ready then (moved him to a bed just after he's 2nd birthday). I think you know when your child is ready.

My dd had her check at 3 years old. The HV gave her a book to look at and asked her to point to the cat or dog. She showed her flash cards to name. For her co-ordination she asked her to go to the other side of the room to get something. It was all pretty basic. The one problem they did detect was a problem with dd's pronouniation for which she has been refered to a speech therapist. Unfortunately there is a 9 month waiting list for an assessment then she will go on the waiting list for a further 12 months. The problem with this is that she will be discharged at 5 years old! All seems a bit pointless if you ask me!

The checks here were changed from 18mths, 3yrs and pre-school to 2 yrs and pre-school only. I thought that was ridicous, because lots of children have not reached milestones at 2yrs (still in nappies, not talking etc) that you might be concerned about if they haven't reached at about 3yrs and and would definitely be a problem if it isn't picked up until nearly 5.

At one check my dd wrongly answered a question about a drawing. The HV told her the 'right' answer and my dd looked at her and "It isn't real!" as if to say, it's a blooming line drawing of a cat, why should I care if it's awake or asleep when it hardly looks like a cat anyway??

Alexsmun
Think about what you want from the check. Are there any concerns you want to raise or advice on feeding or sleeping or development? Your red book for your child will outline waht thay actually check. treat it as a learning experience

My advice is to just sit there and say yes, yes, yes and how wonderful the HV is and then shut the door and get on with your life! Honest, it's that simple.

If you had any worries you'd have looked for help before now. You know your child better than the HV ever will. Think about it - does the HV come back when they're 14 and say did you stop wetting your pants and have you learned the difference between a duck and an apple yet?!!

Relax and don't take any crap! The one I had couldn't have identified a 'normal' toddler if one had jumped up and bitten her on the arse!!

Sorry to all you health professionals out there, but that has been my experience.

Kia, your comments have given me such a great laugh, I couldn't agree with you more. I listen to what my HV tells me but do what I think is right anyway. Nearly every assessment I've taken both my boys to she has wanted to refer them for one thing or another. She seems to me to question her own judgement and I sometimes think I could do a better job than she does.

Kia, I wholeheartedly agree with you,used to like my HV until ds's 2 yr check (at 22 months!)She made me totally paranoid that I had a problem child, simply because he was fed up being stuck in a pokey room being harassed by a stranger asking him things he had no interest in! She was very tut tutty about the fact he wasn't potty trained and once that was established I decided to try and take what she said with a pinch of salt. However, it did leave me feeling pretty miserable for the rest of the day, wondering about stuff. After a nights sleep I came to the conclusion that it was all OK, she has her opinion, I have mine, I've never seen her since, and doubt I will again. Bloody annoying though (that she made me feel like crap), there is nothing wrong with ds, he was just a normal, busy and slightly winghey toddler on the day!

I've had a bad experience with a HV too. I turned to her for help when I was having problems with eldest ds and she ended up making things a million times worse than they were before. Now we've moved out of the area, I've got different HVs who seem ok, but I only see them if I absolutely have too (for developmental checks etc) That first HV has really put me off. I agree with Kia's comments, just agree with whatever your HV says, and then turn to your friends and family (or Mumsnet!!!) with your real worries.

Sobernow - I can't believe your HV made those comments about your baby's head, that is totally out of order. Don't blame you for changing surgeries, hope you find a better one soon.

I've just had a letter from my HV giving details of what my ds should be doing and saying that if I'm happy with his development we don't need to go for his 2 year check. Do you think this is just them copping out - I thought every kid was supposed to have this check? I am happy with how my son is progressing, but he is my first child and so there may be things I've missed. What do you think?

Willow2, has your son had a hearing test recently? IME 2-year checks include a rather rudimentarly one, but it is better than nothing. One reason to have the check, even if you're happy with your son's development.

Also, I found it quite interesting to see how my son reacted to a total stranger giving instructions etc. All the adults in his life are people he knows well. It was very reassuring to see him interacting so easily with a new person.

HTH

Sobernow, your old HV sounds the pits. What a terrible thing to say to you. Glad you have a new one.

Willow2, has your son had a hearing test recently? IME 2-year checks include a rather rudimentarly one, but it is better than nothing. One reason to have the check, even if you're happy with your son's development.

Also, I found it quite interesting to see how my son reacted to a total stranger giving instructions etc. All the adults in his life are people he knows well. It was very reassuring to see him interacting so easily with a new person.

HTH

Sobernow, your old HV sounds the pits. What a terrible thing to say to you. Glad you have a new one.

Interesting - DS has his 2 yr check on Monday, which also happens to be his 2nd birthday (I'm sure this was more by chance than anything else). DH is taking him as I've got to work and have no hols left. I am totally positive he is developing normally; he is nowhere near being potty trained, only strings 2 words together and is a very fussy eater!
I do think, though, despite the bad tales about HVs, they do play an important role, as do the checks. I'm sure all of us are here are caring and intelligent parents who want to seek advice from whatever source we rely on if we feel there is a problem with our child, but it's unfortunate that there's a minority of children who don't come from such loving, caring backgrounds and that's where the HV/checks pick up on any problems in the child's development or health that the parents haven't bothered about.

It's a great pity that some HV's dont feel able to move away from their tick-lists and be real people for a while. Your child is your responsibility at the end of the day, not theirs, and if they make a mistake, you wont see them for dust.

My friend's HV was even worse than the virgin queen I had and really destroyed her confidence in her parenting skills in one hour. Eventually, she went to see her doctor to complain, and he asked her not to take it further since the HV was to retire soon. I wonder how many other mothers that HV had left feeling terrible? When it's your first child you need support and experience, not someone with ticklist/average child mentality. I longed to shout at my HV 'Lady, he's BORED, not stupid or deaf!' but what did I know, I was only his mother!

The best HV I had was the last one I had, was a lovely looking West Indian lady called Norma. She was wonderful, she listened, gave support and much laughter. She kept on about postive 'vibes' and how I must give them off at all times!! I wonder where she is now. What a woman, and what a philosophy.

Seriously, if you don't agree with what the HV says or does, make an appt to see your doctor and get their opinion before you do anything at all.

Remember - POSITIVE VIBES AT ALL TIMES!!!

Well,after all that we turned up for the check and we had come at the wrong time.I had got the appointment time wrong.So they probably think I'm thick as 2 short planks !!!
The main problem i've had with hv's is that they look for an average in all children.My son is a BIG boy,he's very tall and he used to put about a pound a week on when he was little.When I used to take him to the clinic to get weighed he would be off the chart for his weight and the fuss!! I remember the hv taking me to one side and asking about his diet(er...breastmilk?)I used to ask people all the time if they thought he was fat(he wasn't) and I did worry.Then a new hv had the sense to measure him and it turned out,surprise surprise, that he was off the chart for his height too and completely in proportion.A small thing but if they'd just done that in the first place it'd saved me some worry.
So, I've got to wait for a new appointment.In the meantime i'm doing lots of " a red bus,a blue car" swotting so that he is suitably impressive when we do go!!

My ds's 2 year check has been scheduled for next Thursday (he'll be 22 months) at the local health clinic. I've had no real contact with any of the HVs -my GP's practice was between HVs so I saw a different one each time for each of his formal early tests and I went to the bf support group at my maternity hosptial so that was where he got weighed regularly.

He's still not talking much at all - "Dad-dy" for either dh or me, "Bye-bye", "Hiya", "Dah" for Cat (even though his first word, at 12 months old, was a clearly enunciated "Cat" - which he continued to say for about 4 months before "forgetting" it), "Ssooss" for shoes and socks, "tcheees" for cheese, and "Tees" for "Cheers!", and that's about it. He's not stringing together any words, although he does babble away clearly (to him) to us in his own wee langauge.

He likes to play with books but definitely wouldn't respond to questions asking him to point out things in pictures. He also won't usually respond to questions like "where's your nose?" - although if he feels like it he might decide to point to either his or my nose, so he does know! I never managed to get beyond that to other body parts!

Is the HV likely to be concerned? He can hear well - likes music and will copy the intonation, but not the words, of the Telly Tubbies "How Now Brown Cow".

Apparently I was extremely late to talk - about 3 - which is unusual for a female (but I made up for lost time!), so I'm not really concerned - I'm just interested to know how the HV might react.

Physically, I think he's doing well - kicking a ball deliberately, throwing, climbs and descends stairs standing up, one step at a time, holding on to the wall (although if I'm there he preferes to hold my hand), can squat to pick up toys, walks backwards - and at the moment his big game is "jumping" - just wee ones, but walking back from the child minder's (not far - just the house next door!) takes ages as he keeps stopping to do a wee jump.

I work full time and don't have any friends locally with young kids, so I don't really have anyone else to compare him to.

JanZ, don't worry about DS's speech, boys are notoriously slow. My own DS2 was only saying 'Do-do' at 2, it was his word for absolutely everything. I did ask for speech therapy because of this but he was only a little slow in his development and didn't really have any problems. I think at our 18m-2yr checks we were asked if DS/DD was starting to feed themself with a spoon, if they could pick up tiny things off the floor, walking, running, kicking a ball etc. The HV had a few building blocks which they had to stack. DS2 was kept on record for further checks because he only started walking at 18m so was still unsteady on his feet but there were no other problems. I think this check is as much for you to air any concerns or ask questions as much as for them to check up on you and DS. If the HV does pick up on anything, don't take it as a criticism, all children learn to do things at different paces and some do need a little help, it certainly isn't any reflection on you.

Janz ? your boy sounds very much like mine. At age 2 he had around 20 words but he didn?t use them in a predictable way. He also used his first word (button) just after his 1st birthday and then stopped after a few months.

Things hardly improved till he was about 33 months when he gradually started using more single words although again he?d only use them when he wanted to. The only concern the HV was that he was using noises to ask for things ? screeching and pointing. She asked me to ignore this or to repeat ?what is it you want?? It never worked and it is extremely difficult to ignore a very loud irritating noise for long!

He is 3 in a couple of weeks time and is at last starting to string words together so is about a year ?late? in text book terms of what he should have been doing. Even so I still can?t have an actual conversation with him ? if I ask him a question he may say ?no? but I can?t get him to tell me what he wants.

He is very similar to your boy in that he can do all the other physical things and clearly understands things but just isn?t keen to say the actual words. He went through a phase around 2 ½ of making ?oooh? noises and pointing at words in books but rarely saying what the words are although he would point if you asked him. Again it is only recently that he will point and say the words. I have no worries about this but it can make it difficult to understand your child at times.

Message withdrawn

Thanks everyone.

I'll let you know you what comments I get from the HV, although I'm now more confident that she will (should?!) look at him holistically and see that while he might be "behind" in one area, he's advanced in other areas - and that in the long run it will all even out.

The check was fine - although ds wouldn't even perform the little he was capable of! I told the HV that he wouldn't point things out in the book, so she asked if he did point things out in the general run of things - to which the answer was yes - especially cats ("dah" ). There was a picture of a cat in the book - it was even a Siamese one (as our two are), but would he say "dah"......?! Anyway, she was happy that I was unconcerned and that in all other areas he was doing fine, so it's been left now until the 39 month check, or unless I call her.

The next little joy that I might have is that the childminder has said that there is chickenpox going round. Although ds MIGHT have had it when he was 5 months old, I was full b/f, so he is unlikely to have built up any of his own immunity. I do want him to catch the childhood diseases young - but I suppose I'd better pre-warn my parents that they might have to be on childminding duty if he does get it. I need to check with the childminder what her approach is if he does come out in spots - given that he would have caught it at her place!