What age would you let a child play in the street unsupervised?

[NoRoomForALittleOne]

And to settle a debate with DH what sort of road do you live on and where do you live in the country ie north/south.

We've lived at opposite ends of the country and are finding the attitude towards playing out in the street very different where we are now.

My DD2 (7) has been playing out (at park, next road across and not visible from the house) for about a year, with her big sister. DD1 went out to play from 8. Some children play out from 6 upwards.

We live on a small modern-ish estate (about 200 houses but windy roads and lots of speed bumps) on the edge of a village in the middle of nowhere (South East / West borders). We know most people around here, and my children know most of the children who go to the park.

Vair naice private development. DS is 6 and is allowed out but with me. Most other kids the same age are the same. About 8/9 to be out on their own.

Never. My DC are only allowed to play in gardens and in the front garden (when supervised). It doesn't matter what street because it only take 1 second. I wouldn't even consider it until they were at least in high school.

I'm in the US and don't have a child-aged child anymore, but I live in an apartment complex that has several buildings, a playground, lots of green spaces and trees, with a winding sort of parking lot/drive between them all, and is completely fenced except for one driveway entrance. Kids seem to play out unsupervised in roaming packs from the age of about 4. Actually, it looks like a really great place to be a kid.

multiplemama what will only take one second? And by High school you mean age 11? Imo kids need to start getting a bit of freedom before then to build up ready for going to High school.

Dd is 6 and plays out all the time with her friends. I dont lock doors, cars, no crime, no graffiti, really tidy, no rubbish anywhere. We are in South and nothing happens here and everybody knows every neighbour.

About 7.
We live on a residential street of mixed houses with other streets joining. Traffic comes and goes, but no through traffic as a dead end. I don't let my dd ride her bike on the road or play on the road, but she calls for friends and they ride scooters on the paths unsupervised. Up North though.

About 5 for mine but only on a big green in front of the house and there are several houses bordering the green and we all supervise, there are about 10 children play out regularly. Even the older kids at 11 & 12 don't really go off the green. We're in the North West.

My only problem is now my 2 year old wants to play out with the bigger ones so me or DH spend hours out there with them all anyway.

in my street i see 2 year olds out alons,, in a very very nice part of town. i have only just let my dcs (nearly 7 and nrarly 6) out on their own vut they have very strict rules around how far they can go etc and tbey are usually only allowed to the park which is 2 doora down and i can see from my garden. i would feel uncomfortable letti.g my nearly 2 year old out with them but it seems my neighbours think its fine.

this is in the highlands btw

At 2!! No 2 year old is safe playing out without adult supervision. Anywhere.

yeah my 5 year old plays semi supervised but my 2 year old is always fully supervised.

Never, that's what gardens & parks are for. But I'm middle class, northern & was never allowed to. My parents always knew where I was & who I was with.

My dh says he'd let ds play in our cul de sac from about 5 yrs onwards. (Over my dead body!)

another never here

southern mc too

Err when kids play out you can still know who they are with and where they are.

Playing out, making little trips to the post box, the shop, the library, the park etc on their own are all things that help children learn to be independent. Obviously it always depends on the child and where you live but some age appropriate freedom to play out/run errands or just hang out or go for a walk is an important party of growing up and learning life skills.

We are a middle class family's well, as are my parent's and dps parents. Both allowed to play put as children and have gradually let ours have more freedoms as they get older.

Ds2 and ds3 will prob go across the road to the 'posh' housing estate today as their is a residents association's garage sale. They have some pocket money etc. They are 12 and 9, it's a 5-10 min walk with one busy road which has a crossing. They will go and look around for an hour ish? Spend money etc then come home.

Ds1 is 14 and will go into town to sort some stuff for work experience today, it's a half hour walk to city centre. He will be walking to hos work experience placement which is 40-45? Mins in city every day for two weeks, has to be there for 9am and finishes at 6pm.

I notice a lot of people, not on this thread but on others and rl life see high school age as the age when they will let children out on their own etc as though they are suddenly mature/Old enough then but they don't magically become old enough and sensible enough at this age! They need to learn gradually how to have these bits of freedom and be ok for longer distances, busier places, longer periods of time etc.

5madthings - I'm sure I don't need make a list. T
hey'll make friends a school and in the neighboured, of course, they'll have a social life but they'll play in the saftey of gardens or at park with a responsible adult present.

We live near woodland and it's just not age appropriate for my DC to play on the streets or near the woods without supervision. We go to the park most days so they're always making friends and arranging playdates :)

My eldest is 5yo and does little things that he sees as independant, and does little errands for me (goes to postbox for me which is 2 doors down). It's the playing on the streets and out of view that I have a problem with.

Well my maim concern with kids going out is traffic, so I am very hot on road safety.

But by not allowing them any freedom before high school how do you think they will magically then be safe to go out on their own at high school age?

What is the difference in a yr 6 child in June to the same child who is at high school in the Sept? Unless you teach them and give them opportunities to learn there is no difference.

Yes it defends where you live, one of our parks is by woodland and marshes so they need to know where they can go to play, ds2 can go there on his own and ds3 will be allowed this summer, they will stick to the park and the hilly area away from the marshes. If they want to go in that bit I would-be at the park with them. But they can go over to the park on their own, and I will meet them later or if we are at the park together the elder ones can go home on their own and I join them later with the little ones. Children of 9/10 etc can be quite capable given the opportunity and ime it's good for them to do stuff. Ds3(9) enjoyed going round the garage sale on his own today, we started off together, then he went off for a bit, then we met up again and then he walked home on his own whilst I took the little two to the shop. Ds1(14) and ds2(12) stayed home on their own.

We are lucky we live in a nice area for kids with shops, park, library etc all close enough for them to be given age appropriate freedoms.

My high school kids have a fifteen min walk to the bus stop and then catch a public bus to school, the freedoms that I allowed them at 9/10 etc helped prepare them to be able to do that journey on their own.

You know the area you live in, but generally by high school age (if not before in many countries) children will be going to and from school on their own and meeting up with friends out if school, it seems madness to not allow any freedom at all until high school age and then when they are going through the upheaval of starting high school and all the changes that brings to suddenly expect them to cope with other responsibility and freedoms. Far better ime to build up gradually.

So scenario & child dependant!
Our old house was in a terrace in Newcastle - postage stamp sized lawn & dwarf wall out front, dead end street. DS used to play either in the garden or riding bikes/water pistol fights on pavement with neighbours kids. I wouldn't be constantly watching but I'd occasionally stick my head out as would other parents.
DS did this from 3-5 but DS had very clear boundaries as to where he could go & what he could do & he stuck to them & there were always older kids out who were also sensible & well behaved. My greatest fear was the cars on the road so we banned ball games to reduce the risk of them chasing after an errant ball.
Everyone knew each other well & we were lucky to have sensible kids.
DS is now 6 but as where we live is so different it's just not suitable nor does he want to (no neighbouring kids, on country road with no pavements & we have 1.5 acres out back so he can now ride bike in garden)

Boundaries or not a young child does not have the life experience to deal with the unforseen.

An aggresive dog- an agressive adult. Shiny things in the street which may or not be harmful.

I was allowed to play out from the age of four so let me give you an example.

The plumbers were working at a house just a few doors down and were a little messy in their habits. Lying there discarden on the pavement amongst some other rubbish was a honey golden (magical ring) glistening in the sunlight. It was such a pretty ring I picked it up. admired it for a while and tried it on.

It was actually a 4mm length of copper piping, roughly sawn at both sides.
By now it was aparent it wasn't coming off.

Skip forward seven hours to my finger swollen up like a balloon, and A&E staff trying to cut the thing off with a saw.

No number of "boundaries" could have prevented this incident which was wholley caused by lack of adult supervision.

Five year olds don't have the life experience to keep themselves safe.

I think unless we visit each others houses and see the exact contexts we are talking about it really is impossible to compare.

5, we've only just started letting him (closer to six) play out on a flat concrete area behind our house. You can't actually see the whole place from the window, but we have told him to stay in the half which you can see, unless there are other children there (in which case we can hear them and see the occasional child running over to the other side). There is an accessible road but he knows not to go anywhere near the road even if the ball rolled down there (which would be very unlikely, as it would have to be kicked at a very particular angle, it usually rolls into bushes instead and gets stuck). He would come and ring the bell and get one of us to get it instead. He knows he's not allowed to go out of the area, alone or with anyone, even just to a friend's house, without coming and checking first even if the person says that it's fine. He's very sensible and likes to do the "right" thing, he came back up to tell us the first time some other children came out and he wanted to go over the other side!

We are in Germany so attitudes generally very different to the UK.

combust I'm not particularly worried by the "ring" story, I think that could easily happen even with a parent supervising, and all was well in the end. Accidents happen!

Midlands cul-de-sac - I let my 5yr old and 4yr old play out a little bit with a couple of well known older children, but I hovered and checked on them when I couldn't see them.

Yes, I will only consider it when he reaches a certain age but I will prepare him in my own way and in a way in which I feel comfortable to do so, but not at his current age. He starts school in August and I have no doubt he will meet plenty of friends, so I'll probably start building and preparing then.

I'm not going to suddenly turn round when he's 10 and shove him out the front door and say, "okay, you're old enough, you're on your own."

He's quite mature for his age now but he's still a child. My child.