This is my first post, but I feel I have exhausted all ways of dealing with the situation and now can't think of how to move forward and need any help or advice available please.
My 12 year old Stepson lives with us (along with his 9yr old Brother). He went through a long phase of being good and well behaved, but over the last 3 months his behaviour has become worse and worse and he is compulsive lying about everything, including really trivial things and things that are obviously just not true (when there is proof he is lying). He is a very intelligent boy so I find it hard to understand why he thinks he won't be caught out.
The lies are now becoming serious and ones that can have an impact on people's lives. For example, last weekend he said I threatened to punch him in the face (this was in response to telling him to clean his room). Luckily for me there were other people there who could confirm this was untrue. My partner said he knows it is not something I would say anyway but if I was alone with him, it worries me as to what the outcome could of been. He also then went on to tell his brother he was going to stab me and his father had to remove a decorative pirate knife from him. I wasn't worried he was going to stab me, I was upset he scared his Brother. He later went on to say he only had taken the knife to bed with him for protection from me. Despite me never having ever been in an altercation or having any problem with him in the last 4-5 years.
We did have a good relationship and I'm not sure what has changed. I am treating him the same. He has improved his relationship with his biological Mother, but I can't see why that should change how he treats me.
He is upset over a number of things currently, mainly how school is going and the fact I am pregnant with my first child. I could have put a lot of the behaviour down to the baby news but he was acting like this 6-8 weeks before finding out.
I'm worried if this isn't sorted out soon, it will become an issue which can not be sorted out. He is a clever boy and I do not want to see him throw his future away. I want him to see the implications of compulsive lying and the dangers, but he ignores everything I say (and my partner) and carries on regardless. Has anyone been in a similar situation and if so - how did you resolve it please?
This has been a difficult pregnancy for me and the stress of the situation is really starting to affect me and I do not want to feel so low and it to have an affect on my baby.
Please does anyone have any suggestions on a way to move forward?
Thank you x