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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is it ok to...

12 replies

BouncyBabe98 · 02/07/2014 08:38

Leave my 10 month baby to play in his play pen for more than just a few minutes. We got a lovely Lindam play pen however I can't help feeling like an inadequate mother every time I use it. My boy is veryyyyyy active - even the health visitor commented on it and when on the living floor he is always racing to grab things he should not or are dangerous like the TV wires or he is making a bid for the nearest door!

On the one hand and sometimes I love this but as I am his full time carer it is really starting to get me down. To the point where I have now put him in his play pen just to breath!!!

I am exhausted. I am also TTC which I don't think helps with my stress levels.

Am I an ok mother to use a play pen. If he crys I always get him out. He has lots of toys in there to play with.

Please tell me I am not the only one to do this?:S

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FredFlintstonesSister · 02/07/2014 08:50

My DD is only 4 months but a complete Velcro baby, still. Some days all she want is to be carried around and cries whenever I put her down. I do need to but her down sometimes though, even if it's just to go to the toilet! I put her in her "big cot" under her mobile (she still sleeps in Moses basket) so she can't roll away and hurt herself. You are entitled to make a cup of tea etc and if that means a playpen for 10 mins that's totally fine IMO. If he is enjoying himself all the better - you could have 20 mins of peace!

Original poster

BouncyBabe98 · 02/07/2014 08:52

Thanks. It's more so I am not chasing him about. At the moment he seems really happy in his play pen with me sat in the same room checking my emails etc on my lap top (and writing this!)

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Gerty1002 · 02/07/2014 09:14

Yes, I have to do this with my 10mo when preparing his lunch/bottles or doing other chores that can't wait until.nap time. If I didn't he would injure himself. Occasionally I will leave him in there for a few mins once I'm finished if he is happy and playing, but always make a conscious effort to interact and play with him once I get him out.

NickyEds · 02/07/2014 09:40

I'm starting to think about this. DS is 6.5 months old and for the last week or so can get 7 feet away from where I leave him in about 10 seconds. I'm obviously very proud and all but really have started to worry about it. I've started to furtively look at playpens too. On tentatively suggesting it to my OH he, very enthusiastically and gleefully said "Yes! We'll get a baby cage!!!". You can imagine how much.....better that made me feel!
Surely it's safer for them to be in a playpen with toys than where they can hurt themselves? Stuff still needs doing. I still need a wee occasionally!

Flexibilityiskey · 02/07/2014 09:44

Is it ok to leave your baby in a safe place when he is happy and has plenty of things to entertain him? Of course it is! I'd say its fine to leave him there as long as he is happy to be there. If it means you get a bit of down time too then everyone wins. It will help when he is older if he learns now to entertain himself for some of the time.

aturtlenamedmack · 02/07/2014 09:49

As long as he is happy then it's no problem at all. It's nice to leave a happy baby to occupy himself for a while, there's nothing wrong with it at all.
If all goes well and your successful in ttc, then sooner or later your ds will need to occupy himself for a little while. There's no need to feel guilty about it :)

BabyShake · 02/07/2014 11:23

Yes,of course!Everything will be comfortable.
My son is 15months old and he is thoughtful now.

feesh · 02/07/2014 11:26

Of course it's fine! If he's happy, leave him. How do you think those of us with twins cope? It's good for them to learn to play alone anyway, they don't need constant entertainment.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 02/07/2014 13:01

If you are planning a second child then as aturtle pointed out, you will need to juggle the two of them and fit in the rest of life's demands. It isn't neglecting him and he will benefit from knowing he is safe and mummy is around. He will love being mobile but we all need a break sometimes.

Linguaphile · 02/07/2014 13:09

Our twins are 9 months and also very active. We don't have a playpen, but I will certainly put them in their cots with some toys if I need to go take a shower or do something that means I can't watch them closely. 5 minutes in an enclosure every once in a while won't kill them! Patience and quiet self-amusement are virtues I'm happy for them to cultivate. :)

Obviously he will need some time to explore and stretch his little legs in the day, but that doesn't have to mean 24/7 free reign. I think that as long as he's happy and as long as he's getting some time outside of the playpen as well, you shouldn't worry!

Original poster

BouncyBabe98 · 02/07/2014 13:50

Thanks everyone :)

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Jaffakake · 02/07/2014 18:38

We bought a play own that also served as a room divider. We've a through living room / dining room so it helped sort one end out that was 'safe' so he could move about a bit in a space bigger than a play pen. Maybe something to think about for the future?

Don't beat yourself up. We all have to ' contain' them to a certain extent to keep them safe & so we can do important thinks like making food & keeping things clean & getting some rest.

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