Angelic at creche, a handful at home

[vvviola]

DD2 (2.10) goes to crèche from 8:30 to 3 while I work. We're home by 3:15 most days.

The crèche never appear to have any trouble with her, she eats well, plays well, is "a little sweetheart". (Although I do realise they wouldn't tell me about every grumpy moment she has)

From 3:15 until bedtime she screams, cries, fights with her sister (7yo), clings to my legs. She refuses to eat dinner, screams for snacks, throws food, and is generally in the full throes of the terrible twos.

I get the reasons behind it - long day at crèche, she's secure with me so can act out, misses me etc etc.

But it doesn't make my afternoons/evenings any less stressful. I do as much meal preparation at night or at the weekends as I can, but I still need to get the meal on the table and do a few things around the house, but she's just so difficult. I barely get a chance to give DD1 much attention other than "can you please play with your sister for 5 minutes so she'll keep out of the kitchen".

DH is usually at home, but still working at that stage of the day - but even when he is around it only makes it worse, as half the time when he talks to her she just screams for me.

Being firm just leads to more screaming. Giving in to whatever it is she's screaming about only makes her scream about the next thing.

It's relentless and exhausting. And she's only marginally better at the weekend.

I'm grumpy and shouty and tired and I'd like one or two semi-pleasant afternoons a week with my children I'm working a part time, badly paid job well below my qualification levels and out of my area of expertise just so I can be home with them in the afternoons and honestly I'm beginning to wish I worked full time some days

Anybody have any ideas? Please?

You poor thing. My DD is 3.5 and is gradually coming out of this phase I hope but I have the same thing. I used to work 3 days a week and collect her at 5.30, she would then be hell on legs until bedtime. Like you say the screaming continues even if you give in as she moves onto the next demand straight away.

How long has she been acting up and how long has she been going to crèche?

One tactic is to give them your absolute undivided attention for 30 mins when u get home,the theory is then that they feel reassured that you are back with them. Never worked for my DD though.

Could she watch tv on the iPad ( if u have one) in the kitchen or "help" while u are making tea, that's the only way I could get tea ready for the others. My DD is getting a bit better but we still have a screaming tantrum in the car most nights as she demands sweets every night although she has never been allowed sweets in the week!

I don't have any ideas, but I can sympathise. Daycare, kindy, and now school all think that DD is the sweetest, most compliant, kindest and angelic of creatures. They don't see the tantrums that start on the walk home, and last until bedtime. Weekends are a nightmare. She's 5!

I do make myself feel better by telling myself that I'd rather she is this way, than an angel at home and the opposite at school.

Glad to know I'm not the only one!

happy she's been going to crèche (same one) since she was 11 months old. Three days a week - sometimes long days, sometimes short days depending on my lectures - until April, when it switched to 5 days a week. I thought by now she might have acclimatised to the 5 day week, but she only seems to be getting worse

Just bumping up in case anyone has any good ideas.

It only seems to be getting worse and spreading into morning now. She whines, screams and moans from the minute she wakes up. She's a bright, funny, fun little thing when she's in good form, but I see so little of that these days.

I'm frankly exhausted by the whole thing.

I had 2 years of minimal sleep because she was bf longer than planned due to milk allergy, and was a dreadful sleeper. I hoped that things would improve once she started sleeping better. But even though she is probably sleeping through the night 4 nights a week, I'm more exhausted than I ever was because every day is such a fight.