when did your DCs develop their personalities?

[Chachah]

first-time mum here, just curious really!

have your DCs always been laid-back/anxious/affectionate/etc since they were a few months old, or did their "personalities" change as they were growing up? When would you say they developed the personalities you now recognise as theirs?

or is this an impossible question to answer? :-)

My DS1 was a grumpy little sod with a mischievous side from about 2 months, still is at 14. At the age of 1 someone commented on his beautiful eyes. He turned his head away and closed his eyes!

DS2 was laid back and smiley all the time as a baby. He barely cried, didn't talk much, just cooed quietly (makes up for that now though!) and was an absolute joy as a baby. He fed more or less constantly, which may explain why he was so content. He's still a grazer, always looking for a snack and is still my easiest one.

DD was alert and fascinated by everything so rarely slept as a baby, but generally sunny and affectionate. She was walking by 9 months and full of energy. She was up at 11 last night, as she often is, unable to sleep, she's now 7!

So yes, I think I could have predicted what they'd be like from a couple of months old, although how much of that is down to nature or nurture I don't know.

I think DS was 'himself' from the moment he was born! Or possibly next morning when the pethidine wore off...

He was alert and interested in everything, anxious and fidgetty, keen on patterns and routine, affectionate and loyal to family and friends.

Obviously he has developed as he got older, but I don't think life has done more than confirm the person he was always going to be.

DS has always been fun loving and exciteable. Bit of a shock to DH and I as we are rather dull and boring.

Didn't know the colour of ds's eyes for about 3 weeks. He slept, didn't cry, smiled earlt and was the easiest and most chilled out baby. At 3.5yo he's at the high end of the energy scale, ridiculously curious, extremely bright, talks incessantly and is a total extrovert. Still a happy go lucky little boy, but very full on. Still loves his sleep though!

Oh and since a few months old everybody has commented on his strong character. It shines from him and always has. But I'm his mum so I would say that, wouldn't I?

In the womb! My upper twin didn't stop moving ever ever. He's still like that now!

Definitely as soon as they are born (or earlier)! I always imagined all babies were sort of generic 'baby' until 3 or 4 years. Now i see that you do get a very distinct sense of personalities right away.

fascinating! thanks everyone!

They can't express by words.So did their "personalities" is regular.

Yes, I was genuinely surprised by how much he was his own little person. I hadn't had much to do with babies before I had him, and assumed they were little 'blobs' which had basic desires like hunger which they expressed by crying, and a default state of 'nothing wrong, not crying' and not much more until they were 2 or 3 at least. I learned pretty fast that DS was an individual.

With hindsight DD had her personality (very curious, easily bored, doesn't need sleep) from day 1 or at least a few weeks old.

At the time however I had no idea it was personality - I thought I was just doing it wrong. Everyone else had babies who loved to nap and were content to play with their toes for hours, and mine was nothing like that! I wish I'd known it was her personality back then, it would have made life a lot easier and less worrying.

Every baby is different and definitely not a generic blob, as much as we might like them to be when they are little Some things continue from when they are so small. DD has always loved sleep and her bed, which has been a complete blessing, but from when she was a baby people would comment that she was never still, and that hasn't changed two and half years on. She has also always been one to get grumpy and have a meltdown when she is hungry, it's like a switch goes off in her head.

But I do think there are some aspects of personality that don't come out until they are older. As a toddler we are now discovering how short a fuse DD has, and how affectionate she can be when she wants to be. And more unusual things, such as she likes to be a follower, likes to copy older girls in particular, she doesn't mind sometimes being bossed around by a more dominant personality. Equally she knows when she has had enough and will just take herself off for some peace and quiet. These are the things I kind of expect to see carried on as she gets older (though god help us if she's still a follower as a 13 year old girl!!)

I think I had a glimpse when they were inside me:

DD1 hardly moved, she even slept through most of labour. She's quiet, gets on with things, but prefers thinking things to active things. She was a good sleeper from birth.

Dd2 used to poke a limb out so hard you could see a bumpover 1/2" high. As it was painful, I used to push it back in gently. Being the subborn determined child she is, she would wait for the second I lifted my hand away and stick it back out again.

Ds was very active all the time (except during the 13 week scan where they couldn't get any movement and scared me). Non stop movement from very early. He still doesn't stop moving.

There were other things that they looked like they were going to be at an early age and haven't stayed that way-for example dd1 was the most sociable baby, went to anyone and lay there and smiles and cooed. Now she's very shy and much happier reading than socialising. However she loves performing, so I think that was perhaps showing that rather than good social skills.

DS has been the same since birth. From when he could smile (2 weeks), he beamed at everyone who even looked in his direction and charmed a million old ladies. He is still incredibly outgoing (almost to a fault, I have to watch him at soft play since I could him trying to talk another child's mum into buying him a nice cream ) and quick to laugh.
DD cried for the first 9 months of her life, thankfully she cheered up a bit when she could move herself! She has always been shy though, from 4 weeks old, she knew if it was me holding her or not and would scream if anyone else held her

My own children have given me DGCs around the same time (well, maybe not given them to me but you know what I mean!) I'm astonished by how each of these very small creatures has its own personality, before they can walk, talk ... They're all lovely, but in such different ways.

Of course they may change later. I doubt it though. First time round, I always felt DC had settled into their personalities by around when they started to speak in sentences ... but watching from the sidelines, as it were, this time around, I reckon that personality-wise there's a lot more down to genetic nature and a lot less down to nurture.

Small sample, I know. I am finding it remarkable, though.

DD was grumpy and miserable as a baby. Rarely smiled, whinged a lot. Looking back perhaps she was having a miserable time with her teeth as she teethed them all in bunches (bar the back 4) by 14 mths. Now at 2 shes lovely. Really happy, smiley, loving and cuddly and talks really well and says the cutest things. Since she turned 2 shes had a complete personality change. She still has her moments and tantrums with the best of them but on the whole shes brilliant and I love spending time with her. As a baby, phew, she was hard work!

Snap Blue our twins made their personalities fairly clear inutero!

It's an interesting thing to think about.

Certain personality traits DS has always had - he's generally cautious (never been one to run away from me), really silly with a great sense of humour, not into imaginative play but loves being active and playing with balls. These things have been evident since toddler-hood I think (he's now 6 and a half),

Some things have developed over time though. He was a super clingy toddler but as he grew older and more confident, he got over this. And although he's still cautious, he's happy to take more risks now (although still not one to run off, which I'm very thankful for!)

So I think that there are some generic personality traits and some that develop over time. I agree with Thurlow that some personality traits come out when they are a bit older.

I remember holding my friend's baby when she was tiny, about 4 months old, and she was so alert and active and practically trying to throw herself off my lap! She was an early crawler and walker and she's generally full of energy - that was evident so early on!

Ds2 was a smiley, relaxed,easy going baby right up until he hit the terrible twos at 18mo. Now at 6 he still smiles and that's where the similarity ends.

When he got his head stuck during labour and refused to move! It set the scene for a VERY stubborn baby, which is still true at almost 2. I don't think he's changed much since he was a baby but there's still time.

Definitely from birth. DS was born at 31 weeks. At 32 weeks he would bum shuffle down the incubator out of the little nest they make, and kick against the glass. Loved kangaroo care. At 2 he is still always active and energetic but very affectionate.
Oh, and he kicked me to smithereens before birth too!

I think both my DDs personalities were developed pretty early on but I can only see that with hindsight. DD1 was always energetic, outgoing and social and DD2 always hated strangers, is more cautious and both are pretty much the same today.

The minute they were born.

DD - impatient, assertive If she wanted something she wanted it now and let you know about it in a loud voice.

Very stubborn from early on - refused a dummy, refused a bottle, refused to nap.

Very alert right from birth, looking around taking everything in, very vocal, spoke early.

But didn't roll or crawl, not very physical at all, didn't roll or crawl.

Now she is a very impatient, stubborn, assertive, stroppy 7 year old, never stops talking, very smart, but rubbish at sport and quite clumsy.

DS is only 6 months and already he is almost the polar opposite of DD.

He is vvvvv laid back. He didn't even open his eyes for the 1st week, slept loads and still does (I'm lucky I know!).

He's very amenable, just fits in with everyone else and makes no demands.

Hardly ever cries. Difficult to know if he's hungry as he won't tell you! Not at all fussy - anything will do.

Very physical, rolling, trying to crawl, loves going swimming.

Can't wait to see what he'll be like when he's older.