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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Meltdowns in pram

19 replies

noshthis · 30/06/2014 09:31

Hi - really not sure what to do!

My 6.5mo routinely has meltdowns in his pram. He just looks and me and starts whinging, then crying then its pretty much a blow out. Basically he wants me to carry him. I have now begun to take a sling with me so that I can take him out when he does this and I dont mind so much but he is getting HEAVY!

I won't be able to do this forever so I am looking for others who have faced this and what you did.

Did you just let them cry in their pram? I mean he can see me so he knows that I am there (just not giving him what he exactly wants)

Do you keep up with the taking him out?

He has toys to play with and I talk to him and try to keep him entertained but he just thinks its more entertaining and better if I carried him.

To be honest he would much rather I was an attachment parent but I am not!

Any suggestions appreciated! thanks!

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enderwoman · 30/06/2014 09:55

Is he parent facing?
How upright is he?
Do you have a decent sunshade?

kimlo · 30/06/2014 10:01

Dd2 was like this, at the school she was known as the baby that screams.

I kept her parent facing until she was 2 and a half, kept talking to her and eventually she became more intrested in what was going on around her and stopped.

ikeaismylocal · 30/06/2014 10:56

A friend of mine had the same problem, she said her baby was happier forward facing as then he can't see you so he won't constantly be thinking I can see mummy but she isn't holding me, waaaaah!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 30/06/2014 12:30

Hell hath no fury like a baby who is put back in his pram right in the middle of a tantrum. My friend's DS did this trick he'd lull her into a false sense of security the first five minutes then roar his way round the shops/library/health centre. If she stopped pushing and tried comforting the noise level ratcheted up.

Four tips: a favourite toy; non-chokable edible treat; find your DC's most mellow time of day invariably when it will least suit you. And can you bring music, even if you have to secure your phone away from meddling little fingers in a side pocket?

TheJourney22 · 30/06/2014 13:28

Following too! I have the same problem. My DS is known as "Velcro Baby" ... Yep I'm the one pushing the pram with no baby in it!

We now have daily meltdowns in the car seat as clearly how fucking dare I not have him in a sling on my lap whilst driving .... I mean who do I think I am?!?!?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Iggly · 30/06/2014 13:32

I turned my outwards at this point! They may have been tired in hindsight. You can get decent slings - I have one for my 2 year old.

donteatthehedgehogs · 30/06/2014 13:37

When you say he's in his pram, is he still lying down? I had to sit each of mine up in their pushchair around 5 months which killed the meltdowns (until around 2!)

Iggly · 30/06/2014 13:39

Oh yes not lying down - good point. Mine were sitting up at 4/5 months.

Iquitelikeapples · 30/06/2014 13:41

I could of written your post. DD hates her (bloody expensive) pushchair. My next plan is to turn her forward facing as we she recently did brilliantly for a really long car journey, as long as I didn't talk/sing, as I think she forgot I was there. I usually use a sling just to avoid the drama (& I generally find it easier). She's 11kg & I can carry her fairly easily. Might be worth looking at a different sling if you can't get them happier in the pram.

Original poster

noshthis · 30/06/2014 15:19

He does this parent facing or facing out. He is totally upright he can sit unaided already. It's nothing that is bothering him ie sunlight, being too hot etc. Its that he just wants to be carried. As soon as I pick him up he stops (unless he has been crying for a long time, over 15 mins or so then only the boob will soothe him!)

Journey - yes I have a velcro baby too! augh!

Today he started crying and was crying full on for over 40 mins! I thought he would tire but no he continued until we got home - wet face covered in tears. A feed later and he was giggling! I thought maybe he would learn somehow that I wasnt going to give in but I think he is more stubborn.

I am going to try some new toys and treats - thanks Donkeys! Any ideas on treats? He loves cheese but that isnt exactly handy! He is too young for raisins....

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 30/06/2014 15:28

I know you say you don't want to be attachment parenty but I do think you kind of have to go with their personality to an extent. I was totally convinced I didn't want a routine but DS proved me wrong at 14/15 months when someone finally convinced me to just try it just to humour them, instant change in child!

The Ergo/Connecta/Manduca are not too hippy in terms of slings but more supportive than something from mothercare etc. It'll be a phase - as soon as he can walk he'll probably be happier in the pushchair because it's easy to get in and out. But these slings you can use comfortably up to about 2 years and beyond, if you wanted to.

Iggly · 30/06/2014 15:41

Oh I wouldn't have let them cry for that long. He isn't being stubborn or awkward. He can't tell you what's wrong. You make it better. So cuddle away!

Original poster

noshthis · 30/06/2014 16:23

Hi Bertie - thanks I have changed myself already for him ie carrying him around in a sling, always holding him, etc. I guess that you have this image of yourself as a mum and then the baby is born and they are the way that they are!

I'll have a look at those slings. Right now I am using a babasling which is good as I can carry him on my hip. I think you are right though, when he can walk it'll be a lot different.

@Iggly - I usually wouldnt let him cry for that long but we were a long way from home - way too far to carry him. I give him cuddles all day. Some days I feel like I have held him all day long! I know that one day will come and I will miss all the cuddles but sometimes I just dont want him on me!

OP posts:

givemecaffeine21 · 30/06/2014 17:29

My DS was also like this. I stopped going to the shop for about a month and sending DH on his way home (and doing online shops) as I couldn't bear the incredibly loud screaming every time we entered our local shop. He was a heavy boy and my pram is a double as have DD too, so carrying him wasn't an option as too heavy for my seriously rubbish wrists. I could use a sling with DD until she was about 14 months old, but DS...I just couldn't. The boy is like lead! Even DH admitted defeat after a while! We had an ergo which was great tho as baby can go on your front, back or hip.

I quickly got him sitting upright which helped and made sure he could see everything as well as providing toys which I put on the straps he was in then clipped them up - so he couldn't lose the toy. I also kept food in my pocket at all times! Ok so I had to wash the cosy toes a bit more frequently after his eating episodes but it saved my poor nerves (and the rest of the shop too!).

And then it just stopped and I can't tell you when he last screamed around the shops but he's one now and it's been months...sure, the odd whinge and whine, but not full blown purple-faced screaming! He's very nosy as are most babies so is happy looking around (or was...he now wants to walk so gets frustrated at times!).

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 30/06/2014 18:32

From memory noshthis breadsticks and (I think) dried apple rings? Did as much waving as sucking. Just realised he wasn't reclining, more propped up.

tmae · 30/06/2014 23:16

My son hates the pram and spends literally all day on me, I pretty much shower, my DH plays with him for a bit and then he sleeps in a crib next to me all day every day, I think most people would find it frustrating but I'm more than happy that way luckily.

I have a connecta, a babasling and a wrap. The wrap and connecta are VASTLY more comfortable that the babasling I've found. My DS is 5 months old and weighs over 21lbs and I carried him around London for about 5 hours in my connecta with no problems. They aren't too bad price wise either, £62 generally.

TwirlyCat · 02/07/2014 21:15

I gave my DD (Velcro baby) bread sticks to keep her amused. Plus a handheld toy that flashed lights and played songs when buttons were pressed. My DD actually cried less when I moved from parent facing to outward facing, but I didn't do that until 12mths. It was like she could see me, but was upset and confused why I wouldn't pick her up. When she was outward facing she was distracted by looking out and about.

BB01 · 03/07/2014 05:20

I really feel for you. DD is the same and at twelve months will often still only last twenty mins or so. I am hesitant to suggest anything as I used to find it so difficult when people said is she too hot, too cold etc etc! But things that help us are those baby snacks in bags (melt in the mouth type to try to minimise choking risk), a buggy book, passing her different toys (but not showing my face) and going on busy roads so there's loads to see!! But unfortunately none have completely worked and she's still unreliable in the buggy and carseat (although baby TV on my tablet has helped immensely in the car). I bought a Connecta Solarweave (which rolls up vvv small) to be my buggy sling so it goes on the bottom whenever I use the pushchair and if she gets too upset I take her out and put her in that.

Andcake · 03/07/2014 06:59

Ds was like this at 6 months - switched to forward facing and was cured immediately.

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