Toddler hitting me (and only me)

[Caitmous]

He doesn't hit his dad, his CM, his GM who looks after him once a week - just me. And occasionally he swings a leg at the cat!

He doesn't even need to be that upset, just mildly annoyed and he will raise his arm to hit me. Often he is smiling, not in a rage. He also does this thing of shoving his head into my face - not like a headbutt, starts like a cuddle but then just pushing and pushing so it hurts.

He's 2.8 and it's been going on for ages, possibly a year.

I've tried ignoring, naughty step, stern telling off. He is lovely at apologising and finds it easy to say 'sorry mummy' and give me a cuddle. But he will do it again minutes later.

I'm aware it might be a phase but I am very conscious I am causing it as he doesn't do it to others. He's a lovely, gentle, sweet, quiet boy to everyone else. Just keeps the hitting for me!

Sometimes it hurts so much it makes me furious and I have to leave the room to calm down.

I will try anything - please help!

I don't really have a solution for you but wanted to offer some empathy. My toddler is the same, could have been written about her, with the exception that she pinches me, not hits. Sometimes it genuinely really hurts and I get very upset. Having tried everything, I've given up reacting except to say, that hurts me in the calmest voice I can. Her nursery care worker reassured me it's quite normal and is usually directed at the primary caregiver ie MOM. she said it's almost like they are so overwhelmed with emotion they have to get it out by being physical. So I try to see it as a sign of affection, and ask her to be gentle instead of focussing on getting her to stop.

a phase and it will pass.

just choose a method of discipline and stick with it and ride it out. he will stop eventually when he grows out of it

Agree with the world dd did this, she did sometimes hit others but mostly me, she's 3.5 and she stopped doing it just after 3. Choose a method of discipline and stick with it. I think after 3, the withdrawal of toys for hitting we did started to work, before that, she was too young to understand. Remember, they don't know they're hurting you. It's probably you because they feel safest with you.

Ps leaving the room is a good response, it used to make me feel mad/sad too, always better to leave and calm down rather than stay there.

Dd had a short phase of doing this. I would simply hold her wrist firmly, bend down close to her face, and say in a calm, serious voice 'don't hit mummy. it hurts, and we don't hit in this house'. I would then walk away and put my attention onto something else for a few minutes.

There were one or two times where i put her in her room for a few minutes. She got the message, and the hitting stopped.

Thank you all. Feeling reassured.

I'm in this phase right now. Ds is 2.11 & does this primarily to me. It really upsets me. I'm trying all the things you did, but gave nothing new to offer I'm afraid.

Yes go busy self elsewhere

It will pass

A thought - it might be attention-seeking so have a think about when he does it, maybe when you are trying to catch the news on telly, or chat to your husband. Hurting you is a very effective method of getting total one to one!

My DD 2,6 does it sometimes, then she says"sorry mummy", gives a kiss and does it again.... She thinks its just a game, i am explaining that this is not a good thing to do, but she just ignores me. I too hope it will pass or she will be more understanding in near future.

Dd used to bite us. It's a form of affection but they can't control the emotion apparently. She grew out of it. She does hit out at me occasionally now but it's attention seeking and she knows it's wrong so I just make her apologise.