Why does getting dressed and bedtime have to be a battleground....

[MMG]

My ds is 2.4 and he always avoids getting dressed, nappy change getting washed ready for bed (he is ok if having a bath) he drives me mad, he wont sit still...jumps around like a mad man and runs away and hides...if i make a game out of it to try and make it fun he just goes totally wild.....he is rather a good boy considering his age but when i need to get him ready for bed or get to work it really stresses me out..i have tried saying to him...mummy is going in mummys room till you are ready to get dressed and i close the door, then go back in 2 mins and i say...are you ready to get dressed..he says no and leaps around the bed...i also try and get him to help wash himself and get dressed, sometime he co-operates but most of the time not! any ideas pls?????

you have my sympathies. getting washed ready for bed is the worst time of day with my ds - 3.10 - i have no new ideas how to make it easier - and will look at this thread with great interest as i really need ideas too!

Can you try having a toy he likes that only comes out when you want to change his nappy?

DS1 responds to "come and lie down for me, please" when I want to change his nappy - he's 2.5 - but he's unusual in this, I think. He also loves getting dressed - try saying "now, do your socks go on your feet or your hands?" then try to put them on his hands, or try to put both socks on one foot - DS1 loves to show me he knows the "right" answer.

Well sometimes he will lie down, and sometimes its - NO NO not yet!!! He gets his scks out the draw and puts them on his hands and says - NO they my gloves! toys do work but again its only sometimes...little rascal....choc buttons work but i dont want to get into that habit so i save that for very urgent times...the only time he does as he is told if he is very tired then he hasnt got the energy to run off!

Hi,

My 5 year old likes school but hates getting ready for school. Every morning there is a screaming match. He shouts so loudly that we sometimes resort to hitting him. Help pls before we have the neighbours calling the Child Welfare guys.

star chart.
Get a big piece of paper.
Draw each thing (eg pic of him getting dressed, having nappy changed, teeth cleaned).
Give him a star or draw a smiley face next to the activity every time he does it nicely.

Star chart for the 2.5 year old.

For the 5 year old I would get a timer and make it a race against the clock.

good idea...a month or so ago we did have a star chart and it worked well till he got bored and used all the gold stars....i must make another one...:-)

Distraction worked with dd from about 18 months to 2 and a bit. I used to read her books while we got her dressed, or tell her stories/chat animatedly. She's 2.9 now and more recently, I dress her in front of Cbeebies before breakfast - she gets a small amount of morning tv anyway, so I use that time unashamedly in my favour

mmg, my ds is 4.1 and I still have big struggles every day, mainly at bedtime....never, ever would he get into his pyjamas without a big hoo-ha and to-doing about it, it drives me mad and I am losing my patience big time! It's sooooo booooooring having it every day, it's like Groundhog day in the monotony....hopefully your ds will snap out of it quicker than mine!

We try loads of approaches, roleplaying it, reverse psychology, and others and stuff does work (he always ends up in the pj's!) but it's the struggle and having to think my way round it I hate, at the end of the day when I'm tired!

I'm just ranting, sorry to be no help - spooky this thread is on here now as I got so fed up with it today I could have chewed the carpets

I can see why it occurs, it is NOT fun when you are a kid to get into clothes which you know mean that sitting still and dropping off will follow shortly putting an end to all your fun.....doesn't make it easier to cope with though....

meant to say I agree with puddle, a race is the thing that works most often for a 3/4/5 yr old - my ds often loves it if it's made into a race.....but nothing works every day in our house!

We had the same problem with DD1 2.9 my DH even tried taking her out in pants and vest but it only embarressed him, she thought it was funny.
We eventually used a ladder it has purple rungs for good behaviour and black for not so good. Every time she did something good like getting dressed without fuss she would move up the ladder towards the star at the top. If she stays purple for the day she got a sticker, save them up for a treat. IF she made the star at the top she got a treat straight away. It sounds more complicated than it is. Remember to explain that its an ongoing thing.
The other thing I do now is get her ready while she is on the potty and she cant run.
Hope this works and try to remember that it is a phase and your little D is trying to prove his independence by making his own decisions.

Does he like books? DS 2.8 exactly the same and I can see why he's not interested in getting it done as I am but drives me crazy when I've got to get to work. So I either read him a book that he gets to choose from the book box & sneak an item of clothing on every few pages without making a deal of it at all. Or I do threats. I'm going to count to 5, if you don't come here and put your clothes on, we're not....then whatever you think might work. Cat's going to eat your breakfast, drink your milk, no stories, no dummy, whatever he wants & will be upset at losing. But I have to follow up on it if need be, so I'm starting to temper my threats thus I say if you make me wait you only get 1 book for bedtime story instead of 2. Counting to 5 seems to give him time to think about it, although I am sick of the sound of my voice saying it!