DS suddenly saying he doesn't like much loved grandma - will this pass???

[rumbelina]

DS is 3.5, has had a great relationship with his grandma all his life. Loves staying over there, sees her twice a week sometimes on his own, also with us.

This time last week he was really excited to be going to her house after nursery and staying over. He went with her to work in the morning for an hour or so, we saw her on Sunday and she picked him up from nursery on Wednesday, all fine......until we were saying goodbye to her on Wednesday.

He refused to kiss her and also said something about not staying at hers anymore. This is normal, he often says things like this if he's tired/because he's 3, and it lasts about a minute. My mum does not get offended by this kind of thing, she's pretty sensible about the ways of 3 year olds and people generally.

In the car he said 'I don't love grandma any more, I don't want her to be my grandma, I don't want her to pick me up anymore or go to her house'. I said 'any reason?', he repeated it and I said 'ok then' and left it.

Last night I mentioned her while I was putting him to bed and he repeated it all again, really definite. I gently tried to ask if something had happened but that didn't seem to be the case. I told him if he was sad or upset about anything he could tell me because I wanted him to be happy, and left it at that.

It's making me sad - will it pass?? Please tell me it will pass. I know this kind of thing is normal and he does it to me and his dad but it NEVER lasts more than even about half an hour. I haven't mentioned it to my mum yet just because he's being so definite about it, totally out of character. He loves her!

Any advice/experiences gratefully received...

bump...?

Can you ask Grandma whether anything happened on Wed as he seems to be 'a bit out of sorts' ?

Perhaps she told him off and he's taken it to heart.

Don't just stop seeing Grandma, probably something and nothing.

(The very pessimistic side of me could also add something about discussions that no one should ever touch his private areas without permission, but I really can't see anything like that being the case here, though if it were an 'uncle' I might be more inclined).

I was with them on Wednesday apart from about 10 mins so nothing there.

We won't stop seeing her! She is coming over tonight so we'll see how that goes.

She took him to her work at the weekend, I will ask if anything there could have made him feel uncomfortable or if someone told him off etc. I trust my mum implicitly and he is used to being told off by her but it is possible something else has upset him and he's transferred the anxiety onto her.

He seems fine otherwise but if it continues I will push a little on whether someone else has done something to make him feel uncomfortable.

I guess i was hoping to hear 'my kid did this, lasted a few days, snapped out of it'.

When I was that age I threatened to throw my grandmother out of the car and then drive it up and down over her until she was dead. That was because she had told my sister off.

Take no notice of this. It will be something and nothing. Just plan a nice shared activity.

FWIW my three DC have almost no memory at all of being 3.5 years old and actually I can't remember now who they hated and who they didn't.

My DD took against my mother for a while but I can't remember what age she was - old enough to be quite vocal about it. It was not a nice stage. We thought at the time that maybe she was a bit jealous of my mum taking up my attention (would your son have felt a bit left out if you were there that whole time?) Anyway DD got over it and not she and my mother adore each other and are very close.

It might have just been something and nothing that upset him but was something to him. I say that because my nephew went through this with my mum. When he was about 3 my mum was sitting there and he threw a ball across the room really hard and it hit her on the side of the head. She asked him why did he just do that? And he said because you wouldn't take me to pick luke up from school (his older brother). Mum said that had happened 3 days before and he'd held a grudge for 3 days then took it out on her later. He got over it, it was just a short phase.

Another story a friend of mine took her 3 yr old to stay with the grandparents while she was in labour and ever since he wouldn't stay there. He couldn't explain why he didn't want to and they didn't put two and two together until much later when he said "every time you take me to stay at nanny and granddads, I come home and you've had another baby". (She'd only had one more baby after him!)

I remember being very young and not wanting an elderly aunt to come and stay and kicked up a right stink about it in front of her. I think I was just fed up with the same routine every week and wanted something different. I loved her dearly and loved her coming to stay, that was the silly thing. Children are funny little things!

You never truly know whats annoyed them or got to them unless they can tell you and I guess at that age they cant really verbalise their feelings very well or they've got vague feelings they cant put into words (im like that as an adult sometimes!). It could be anything that's annoyed him that he'll soon get over or perhaps its just a normal phase they all go through at some stage.

Thank you for the replies, feeling a bit better. She came over and he was ok with her but immediately after went back to 'she's not my grandma I'm never going to her house again'

She's away now for a week but we'll just try and see her as normal when she's back.

Totally agree that it could be a tiny thing that he can't verbalise.

Hope it bloody passes soon though, makes me sad and protective over my mum!