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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help, I have a biter!!

12 replies

bambino1 · 07/09/2006 19:20

I work in a small nursery where I live and my daughter comes with me. For the past few months she has been biting the children through pure frustration. There is one particular boy that she always does it to and the parents have complained and then today she bit him twice. Utter Nightmare. I have tried biting her back, telling her off, making her sit on a naughty cushion but nothing has worked and she is still doing it. Please help, I'm at my wits end.

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FillyjonktheFluffy · 07/09/2006 19:24

how old?

Original poster

bambino1 · 07/09/2006 19:26

She was two last month but has been doing it since 18m.

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FillyjonktheFluffy · 07/09/2006 19:35

i have been through this and it is utterly, utterly, awful.

i really wouldn't bite back. thats just telling her its ok.

tbh, and maybe this is just my ds, i think at 2 she is too young to control herself when she is frustrated.

What worked for my ds was to look at situations where he was getting frustrated and biting. He is a very intense, focussed child, so for him it was when another child interupted his play. I also realised he was doing it after having dried fruit-sugar rush.

So my solution was to avoid putting him into situations where he got frustrated and bit (avoid sugar rush, sit very close to him while playing and mediate other kids-not always pleasant, and you look like a fussy mummy, but its better than having him screamed at directly by another parent) . I think that just got him out of the habit, and its no longer a problem.

Original poster

bambino1 · 07/09/2006 19:41

She seems to do it more towards end of day when she is getting tired. it also seems to be over her baby annabelle which she adores but so do the other children and she won't share it. I've tried leaving it at home but by the time we are at the front door she has remebered. I do try to watch her for most of the day but its not just her there that I have to look after. It is so hard.

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pollyesther · 07/09/2006 19:54

I had a biter and the only thing that worked for me was to consitently remove her from the room. I only used this for biting and not for punishment of any other behavour as i wanted to make the message crystal clear. You must remove her every time she times bites.

With regards to baby annabel you need to put up with what ever it takes to leave her behind. Be strong, i know it's difficult but you are the boss & you will win!

Original poster

bambino1 · 07/09/2006 19:57

I can't remove her completly from room as nursery is one area but she does go into to office area on the naughty cushion and can't get back to other children till I say. She stayed in there most of today.
I really try hard to be strong with her and I know I must.

OP posts:

FillyjonktheFluffy · 07/09/2006 20:25

are other kids allowed to bring toys?

how is that dealt with?

Scoobydooooo · 07/09/2006 20:29

At ds's pre-school they are allowed to take there own toys but as soon as they step through the door they have a big red treasure box & anyone who has brought a toy has to put it straight in there & then can get at the end of the day when they leave, would this idea work?

pollyesther · 07/09/2006 21:25

I wouldn't leave her in there most of the day, the point will get missed, i would leave her a few minutes & just keep repeating as & when she bites.

FrannyandZooey · 07/09/2006 21:33

From my experience this seems to happen when children are tired and in a group situation which is perhaps a bit too stressful for them. If it was at all possible I would say take her out of the nursery an hour or two earlier than usual as she has clearly had enough. Being in a big group is hard work for this age group. Failing that just stay at her elbow as much as possible - get the other staff to help you as well - remove her immediately from the room when biting has occurred and say firmly "We don't bite" then wait for her to grow out of it.

I do feel for you. Hope it passes soon.

fussymummy · 08/09/2006 00:22

Could she be getting jealous of the other children getting her mummys attention?????

After all she is only 2!!

She won't realise that you're working.

Make sure she gets lots of praise for the good things that she does, and i know it's hard but try ignoring her when she bites.

As for baby annabel, lots of children have favourite toys, my children all do.

Have you thought about getting her one of the dolly carriers that she can wear and put annabel inside and carry her around.

Thats what my 3 year old does when she takes her annabel out.

Original poster

bambino1 · 08/09/2006 18:02

That is a fab idea about the baby carrier. Today has been a better day. She did go to bite the boy once but a member of staff intervened. I would love to take her out a few hours earlier but I work from 8.30-5 so can't really. Thanks for all your advice, it really helps.

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