Defiance in 3yo - what do you do?

[MiaSparrow]

Anyone else's DC like this?

DD's testing boundaries, I know, but quite a lot of the time lately she's utterly defiant if I ask her to do something/not do something. She just Will. Not. Listen. Eg. just now she started to bring her trike indoors. I asked her to stop because it's dirty but she simply ignored me and carried on regardless. This is typical behaviour. I find myself either raising my voice (which I hate doing) or resorting to threats (if you don't pick that up I'm cancelling your friend coming round, etc.)

Can somebody teach me the counting trick please? I've forgotten what it's called, but I've seen it work with other kids.

I know this is probably perfectly normal behaviour and she is very little, but any tips to get us through this (let's hope) "stage"?

Thanks!

So you just let her carry on bringing the Trike in?
You step in and stop her doing it if she is ignoring you, surely?

Well in the case of the trike, it did come in actually because I couldn't physically stop her in time. But yes, she is told off, and is incredibly remorseful afterwards, bless her (I'M SORRY MUMMY, WAAAAH!). She just doesn't listen to me in the first place.

Firm but calm.

"Trikes are fun, ( acknowledge) but they are outdoor toys."
Pick up the trike and take DDs hand and lead her back outside. ( Ignore protests).

"You can play with the trike outside or if you want to play indoors lets get a jigsaw "
So two choices. No raising voices, no threats.
If she persists in trying to bring the trike inside remove it and put it away. ( In my mind not a punishment, just a natural consequence)

Thanks deepblue that's good advice. It is hard not to shout if she's about to do something really destructive, but yes you're absolutely right, and a lot of it is about them having choices isn't it. (Or a frustrating lack of).