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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Hair colour change

27 replies

TweeAintMee · 22/06/2014 19:47

How common is it for teenagers with red/reddish hair to want to change their hair colour i.e. die their hair a different colour?

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Ollybob · 22/06/2014 20:18

I wanted to change from boring brown to red so opposite! Don't think I was allowed to do it until I was in college though so at 16 ish?
I know one neighbours child dyed her red hair dark brown at about 13 and tbh it suits her and an 11 year old who bleached hers (although this doesn't surprise me, knowing the family :/)
I suppose it depends on the reason, for a change, to try out something new or to try and fit in , perhaps due to bullying? Also would school allow it?

Jaffakake · 22/06/2014 21:06

My bf was a light coloured red head. She went to Greece on hols & got so much attention she never changed it!

Me & my boring brown hair went red when I was 13, bleached using sun-in later on and finally purple at university!

Original poster

TweeAintMee · 22/06/2014 21:12

Thanks Olly and Jaffa - though I'm hoping some other people will post too as a sample of two doesn't really tell me enough.

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Kerryp · 22/06/2014 21:16

I think a lot of people struggle with ginger hair. I know a few people with naturally ginger hair ( and I sometimes get streaks in the summer) I personally like it but a lot of people who have that particular hair go through their live being name called. It might not be anything to do with that though teenage years are usually when people start experimenting with themselves.

PacificDogwood · 22/06/2014 21:19

I think it is very common for teenagers to want to change their hair colour whatever their own natural colour - if you can't go crazy with weird colours when your 16 when can you?!

I have auburny/brownish hair and was desperate for it to be more red, so went a bit henna mad in my teens - there's photographic evidence of me looking like a pillar box…

How old is your teenager, Twee? Are you worried that the wish to change hair colour shows some deeper unhappiness?

Original poster

TweeAintMee · 22/06/2014 21:23

PacificDogwood (great name by the way as it reminds me of Yosemite) - yes that is exactly my concern.

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ilovepowerhoop · 22/06/2014 21:27

I did my hair all sorts of colours as a teenager. Bleached it and made it strawberry blonde, used purple henna stuff, used red in it. It's just a way of expressing yourself (well it was to me)

ilovepowerhoop · 22/06/2014 21:28

p.s. I had/have dark brown hair and still dye it but not so outrageously as back then

Kerryp · 22/06/2014 21:30

I haven't seen my natural hair colour since I was 13/14.

PacificDogwood · 22/06/2014 21:32

This is me! - I will always remember taking that last bend in to Yosemity Valley as a bit of a quasi-religious experience….

But I digress -

Nobody is ever with what they have been given IME - I wanted red hair, or long, shiny, swishy Asian type hair. I am caucasian and pale skinned and frizzy-haired .
Teenagers so often hate so many things about themselves and part of growing up is to hopefully come to terms with who we are.

Do you think she is being bullied or teased about her hair??
Do you feel strongly against her dying her hair? It's 'only' hair and not a tattoo...

Original poster

TweeAintMee · 22/06/2014 21:48

Lovely pic PD! Makes me reminisce....

No I don't feel strongly at all and I totally get the notion of wanting to explore/express etc. (Did it myself ) Just hoping it is not about self-loathing....being a mother is such a roller coaster and this is my eldest so it is all a first time experience......

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steppemum · 22/06/2014 22:04

ds has bright orange hair. Much stronger colour than many red heads.
he hates it, he wants to dye his hair as soon as he is allowed to.

It will be interesting to see if he still feels that way as he gets older. I think that there will be one or two red heads in his secondary school, and that will help to 'normalize it' for him

Jaffakake · 22/06/2014 22:18

My ds has ginger hair btw. We call him ginger, should we not? We don't care, but wonder whether one day he might! He'll end up with specs & braces too poor lad!

Kerryp · 22/06/2014 22:21

Jaffa I prefer the word ginger to people saying red hair. It's not red is it? It's more of an orange if anything

Original poster

TweeAintMee · 22/06/2014 22:24

Hmmm, there are many shades of colour, from strawberry blond through ginger tones to a deep rich red. Personally I love all those shades. I only wish my grey would head back to colour!

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Kerryp · 22/06/2014 22:31

Haha Twee sounds like there might be 2 of you getting the hair dye out.

steppemum · 22/06/2014 22:36

jaffa - I think your dc has to choose.

ds HATES the word ginger, it is often used as gingernut against him by others teasing and he hates it.

Interestingly, the reason it is called red hair, is because a few hundred ears ago we didn't have a word for orange. Colours that were red and orange were all described as red. So red deer, red squirrels, red hair, are all actually orange, but there was no word for it.

Original poster

TweeAintMee · 22/06/2014 22:37

Kerryp - no I am comfortable with who I am, ancient as I am! PS the worst bit of going grey is the texture change rather than the colour.

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Original poster

TweeAintMee · 22/06/2014 22:38

Wow Steppemum - that is an interesting history snippet.

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Iqueen · 22/06/2014 22:42

Gently try to find out why your daughter wants to change her hair colour.

My middle daughter had really long curly ginger hair, which adults always praised. She was sometimes quite proud of it. Later, in her twenties, she had it bobbed and dyed it black. Apparently, she had suffered from unkind names and comments in secondary school. Now she is again proud of her Pre-Raphaelite locks.

Bullying about one's appearance really knocks young self-esteem, which is hard to fix. Often ginger-bullying is aggravated by that admiration of adults.

steppemum · 22/06/2014 23:00

twee - courtesy of QI!

Original poster

TweeAintMee · 22/06/2014 23:22

Thanks all. I'll shall think on.

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SomeSunnySunday · 23/06/2014 17:16

It's only now, well into my thirties when it is actually starting to go bloody grey that I finally like my red hair. I spent a good deal of time in my teenage years attempting to dye it - brown, bleached blonde, all sorts really. All fairly disastrous, but I was persistent. It wasn't, for me, a sign of deeper unhappiness, just a desire to be an Amazonian blonde as opposed t a 5'2 Celtic redhead...

LastingLight · 23/06/2014 18:22

I was on here last week seeking sympathy because my 12 year old dd had her hair cut very short in a masculine style and I both hated it and worried about what the deeper meaning is of her desire to look like a boy. I was told in no uncertain terms that a) it's her hair to do with as she please; b) it's only hair and it will grow back and c) she has a right to experiment in order to find out who she is. This all true and I've now made peace. I hope you will too.

Original poster

TweeAintMee · 23/06/2014 20:32

Oh LastingLight - we haven't fallen out over it - I had to stop myself laughing though as it looks awful. There are many worse things that might have happened. I'm just over analysing of course....silly parental anxiety.

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