3 year old who won't sit still and runs off.

[Shootingstar2289]

My child who has just turned 3 is a nightmare when we go out for not sitting still and running off. At home, he is very good and sits still, watches TV, plays with his toys, draws, does puzzles etc.

When we go out, he can be a nightmare. I rarely use a stroller as he prefers to walk. He is fine when we are walking somewhere but if we stop to do something or speak to someone he hates it and often tries to run off and I got to keep firm hold of his hand and he often ends up lying on the floor crying. When we go in shops he tries to run off and is inpatient and will run off while waiting in queues. Thing is I don't trust him to come back. He has ran out the door before. I have to drop everything and chase after him.

In public, we can't go for a picnic unless it's in a very enclosed place. He will run off and want to go somewhere else - often places he shouldn't.

We go out doing something most days even if it's a quick walk in the evening before bath and bed. I've never let him run wild and always tried to teach him right and wrong.

I know all kids can run off, but most come back but I don't think he would. And I don't want him to come to any danger.

He also doesn't understand boundaries for example he will touch things like buttons in shops he shouldn't.

Are you being clear as to your expectations before you go out & continuously focusing his attention for a positive outcome whilst you are out? I do this & it's bloody exhausting & you feel like a horse racing commentator but it works with my ds who's just short of 3yrs.

I saw a Three Day Nanny programme where on a walk she set boundaries by using street furniture, like it's ok for you to run to the second lamppost /postbox etc. I tried it to give ds more freedom but keeping him relatively near by, plus he's a bright lad & it helps turn it into an adventure he feels a part of.

I also use "if we do xyz, then when we get home you can do / get abc"

Take the buggy everywhere you go. He either waits/walks nicely/stays within certain boundaries or he goes in it.

Tell him the rules as you arrive and put the buggy up and be very consistent.

Give one warning which, if ignored, results in him going straight in the buggy for a few minutes.

If you are clear and consistent enough he will soon get the message and stop running off.

Harness or little life backpack.

I second a littlelife rucksack with rein, it completely changed how DS was at this exact age

I adopted the method as suggested by Goldman. Ie. my dc's could walk as long as they were holding onto my hand or the buggy. If they wandered off, or let go, then they would be put in the buggy straight away. Explain what is going to happen before you set off. They will scream and shout when being put back into the buggy, but you have to be consistent.

Rein attached to wrist. I have one!

My DS was a bolter and still does it sometimes if he's in the mood to act up. It was worst between 1.5-2.5years. He is calming down a bit now he's getting closer to 3.

Here's what I did over a few months to work on it.

1. Tell him he either walked holding my hand or would have to be carried like a baby, which he hated (easier when he was younger and lighter of course...)

1. Not chase him down or else it turned into a game - required nerves of steel but a few times he turned around and saw I was far away and he got a bit frightened and came back. I only did this at parks and relatively safe places obviously not on a busy road!

1. We have a 'Where's my Mommy?' storybook at home where a baby owl falls out of the nest and can't find his mother so we would read that and talk about how sad Mommy Owl and Baby Owl are when they can't find each other and how I would feel like that if he ran off on me when we're outside and I can't find him. It seemed to sink in a bit and whenever he ran off I would just remind him about how sad Mommy Owl is when she loses Baby Owl etc.

Just a few ideas - hope there's something in there you can use!

Oh and yes to PP suggestion about setting expectations before you go anywhere, that helps a lot too.

Indoor shopping centres such as Lakeside are good places to practice the above techniques, as there are no busy roads for them to run into so they are relatively safe.