3.6 year old son bossy and 'cross' towards children he doesn't know

[hollingbury]

We just went away camping and our son was pretty hostile to everyone he came across. He's got a fair few friends at home, is (apparently) doing fine at nursery, but was really rude to other kids we met. Shouting at them if they were doing something they shouldn't; bossing them or just being not very nice.

Is this age appropriate stuff? Not sure where it comes from. We are both really friendly.

He is, generally, very bossy and controlling - it's something we work very hard to minimise - but usually he likes other kids

Thanks

Hmm. Is he quite bright? Has he any siblings? If he's an only then it could just be as simple as he enjoys gaining a bit of control...with two adults at home he might sometimes feel as though he's always being told what to do and hasn't anyone to boss around himself.

I do think it's normal though...they're egotistical little monsters at this age.

Yes. Spot on. He is bright and an only child. It's very hard, even if a normal stage. I don't like seeing him be mean to others

I'd say being bossy is usual for this age, but it depends what you mean by "just not being very nice". I think if he is being unkind, that needs closer attention.

Are you quite well organised with his routine? If so, maybe loosen it up a bit....give him some more say in what he does on a day to day basis.

Sounds pretty normal to me as the mum of a ds the same age! Sometimes they just need a little bit of direction and a few suggestions on how to make and keep friends. I've quite regularly had to point out to mine how his words might make others feel and what he can do to interact better with others. He's great, very sociable and extremely bright. He just needs a little more guidance sometimes and a reminder that other children won't want to play with him if he doesn't talk nicely to them.

Totally normal. I see my 3 year old with her finger pointed at people in the park all the time. Wrinkling her nose and telling them off. Not very likeable all in all. Other times she's very sweet but it think they're all very bossy at this age.

I think he has quite a lot of say - we do try to give him a lot of choices

Glad it's normal.

I am not sure it's "normal"- my kids were never like this and most at playgroup and nursery weren't either.

We all knew one or two bossy kids who were like this, but I strongly disagree with "but it think they're all very bossy at this age."

Not at all my experience and would be taking steps if my children had behaved like this.

I think it's pretty normal. My ds and his chums all take it in turns to be bossy with each other!! When I've helped out at preschool I've seen them all at it. I think many children like to be in charge, and think being bossy is the way to achieve this. They will learn (unfortunately probably the hard way!) when people don't respond. I think it's a pretty normal developmental thing. However, probably wouldn't hurt to talk to him about it, encourage him to use kind words, and explain that people don't always do as you want them to, as everyone is allowed to play what they want to play. Also the library may be able to recommend some story books which focus on team work and the like!