What on earth does everyone do with their 2 yr old at bedtime?

[Errrr2012]

So we're getting it wrong somehow. The second that book time is over 2 yr old DS goes into meltdown. Goes absolutely spare at having his sleeping bag on and won't take his milk (which we've recently started giving him in an open cup rather than a bottle). Tonight I eventually calmed him down and he sat on my knee and drank his milk fine. But then went nuts again when he was put in his cot, although not to the same degree as he was before the milk. He used to go to bed fairly happily most nights. I don't know if it's just dropping the bottle that is setting him off cause he drinks all of the milk absolutely fine eventually. He just seems so angry! Can anyone talk me through their toddlers bedtime routine cause I need to get this sorted before baby no 2 arrives in a couple of months!!

DH suggested it one evening when DS was being difficult. Then DS asked for it every evening so it became a bargaining tool to make him clean teeth/put on PJs.

Plus he's in DH's arms (unless DH still at work but thats rare) so they have a nice cuddle whilst I draw curtains etc.

Bath, book, song, sleep. Tell DC beforehand that's coming, then do it as calmly and quietly as possible; after the excitement of bath, quieten down and into p-j's/sleepsack (never had them sacks back in the day, great invention!); follow with book (chosen by DC) and song (likewise) whilst on parent's knee, then into cot with a last 'night-night'. Tiptoe away.

That routine worked with my children and they now do it (and I sometimes do too to give them a break) with DGC.

Of course it was never as simple as it sounds and there are times when the routine gets trampled on in one way or another. Nothing's simple with 2-y-o's! Worth persevering to try to get the routine going, though, ime.

I wanted to post this mainly because of my surprise that so far on the thread no-one's mentioned bedtime songs. They're not called lullabies for nothing. A soft rendition of a favourite song works wonders for calming the savage childish breast, even if (and I'm an example of this, sadly) the 'singer' is actually more of a croaker.

And - added delight to come for potential grandparents (who isn't one of those?) - there's nothing quite like hearing, through the walls, your DC singing to their DC a lullaby you sang to them when they were 'that age'. Love it! (And my DC, unlike me, can sing in tune!)

I used to have a whole raft of songs I'd sing my DD Evalyn - and I can sing, I've done so professionally. But for reason at around 2 she took against my singing - anything, at any time - and shouts "no no no no no!" when I try.

DH, who sound like a foghorn with laryngitis, is allowed to sing though!

That's sad, -Ruth. Was it because you were singing in a different language as a stranger in a strange land? Or am I reading too much into you MN name?

Emphasises that it's not tunefulness that children want, though. Luckily for me, as I said.

Incidentally, one of the 'lullabies' my own children asked for most was 'A Mother's Lament', otherwise known as 'Your Baby has gone down the Plughole' (sourced in my case from a Cream album, for those who recall). Now one particular DGC currently requires that song and that song only as her lullaby. Shows that lullabies need not be all by Brahms!

A little update...tonight we did bedtime routine 30 mins earlier, largely because he only napped for 25 mins. Anyway, did milk from a cup and books together. Into sleeping bag with no fuss and then a cuddle/chat with daddy for couple of minutes. Then into cot and left the room with some resistance but no hysterics. We then had about 20 mins of crying/whinging so I went in 2 or 3 times to say sleepy time, night night. Asleep by 7.10pm. Have no idea what has made the difference!

I give my 2 yr old her milk before her bath in a straw cup whilst watching c beebies together for 15 mins. Then up for bath time and brush teeth at the end of the bath time. Then we read a few books snuggled together in our bed (this is potentially a bad habit to get into which im aware of but being pregnant myself at the moment im really enjoying the lie down and the snuggle!). Then she goes into her cot where I sing to her, we say good night to all her teddies and I leave the room. This bit however has got a bit problematic the last week or so and she cries a lot when I leave the room or shouts "mummy, mummy" for half an hour or so. Ive been in and out like a yoyo but she doesn't need anything, she just lies there and looks at me. Theres a big sleep regression at 2 and I think stalling bed and crying a lot when they've previously been good at bedtime is part of it.

Also we ditched the gro bag months ago. It was getting too hard to get her into it, with lots of wriggling and kicking around. She has a pillow and duvet in her cot now and just wears pyjamas. I go in before we go to bed and re arrange her on the pillow and sort the duvet out and she stays put.