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Behaviour/development

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So shocked - my 8yo threatened to spray wee onto other children

6 replies

jimble1 · 19/06/2014 10:32

When I picked my 8 year old son up from the childminders last night, he was on the naughty step.

I asked why and was told he had weed into a bottle at the park, and was threatening to throw it onto the other children.

Thankfully he hadnt done it, but I am unsure if this is because he wouldnt, or because my daughter told the childminder what was going on before he could do it.

Absolutely devasted and shocked about this, my wife and I have always been proud of how well behaved and sensible our children are, and often receive positive comments from other people about them, and to be honest I was quite proud of them and the job I thought we were doing until now.

We knew he was a little less sensible then his sister, but nothing you wouldnt put down as anything other then his age, and up to now his worst transgessions have just been normal sibling fights - he HAS been brought up to know better then this, and I am very dissapointed that he even thought of doing this, let alone tried it.

We cant get a clear, honest answer from him if he thought of it, or the other children involved (two other boys) thought of it - his answers keep changing - but even so, he should have known to walk away from a bad idea if he didnt think of it.

We are obviously punishing him by grounding him, giving him a good talking to, and not letting him onto pc or xbox, but while my wife isnt very worried, I am very worried - this doesnt seem like normal 8 year old behaviour to me - despite the lack of other misbehaviour it just seems a very odd thing for an 8 year old to dream up :(

We moved into a street 2 years ago that has a lot of former council estate children on it due to the affordable housing policy on all new build estates, and while I try not to be judgemental some of them are less well behaved or desirable company (to be fair, some of them are great kids too) and my kneejerk reaction last night was to blame the company he has been keeping, as he does have trouble not following other peoples examples - but after a nights sleep on it I am less sure as we have constantly taught him right from wrong.

Has anyone else had this happen to them? Does anyone have recommendations that despite being extreme, is relatively normal young boy stupidity?

So upset by his behaviour, and grateful that it got stopped before he actually did it - I cant imagine what I could have said to parents and children if he had sprayed them

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sezamcgregor · 19/06/2014 11:17

Let me just get this straight - your child minder allowed your son to wee into a bottle - keep the bottle - and only cottoned on when your DD told them about it.....

It sounds like he wanted attention - and he got it by being naughty.

I'd question how much supervision he is getting from this "child minder".

jimble1 · 19/06/2014 11:44

I'm planning to talk to her tonight to get some facts straight about that as I am puzzled a little how he managed to wee into a bottle at the park without her noticing - how far was he from her!

But mostly I am concerned about how normal this was for an 8 year old boy to do - I cant remember much about myself back at that age, but I am certain that would never have occurred to me

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LastingLight · 19/06/2014 11:52

I think you are overreacting. Kids will experiment with different behaviours, sometimes they come up with things you wouldn't believe and other times under the influence of peers. This is normal. He was punished by the childminder, you punished him, I think you should leave it there and see what happens. Only worry if it becomes a pattern of behaviour. Oh and I think your punishment may be a bit harsh, grounding and removing privileges.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 19/06/2014 11:59

He's 8. Frankly if he was holding a bottle of water to throw at someone you would be thinking that you can see a link to then throwing it. Because it was wee you seem to have missed that effectively it's still water and can be thrown. Also throwing water gets a reaction, threaten to throw wee and everyone will scream run and I can see could be 'funny'.

He's 8. Wee is funny. Farts are funny. Bodily functions are funny (if granted a bit icky). It sounds like something got out of control. Daftly. Calm down and then think again. I guess a telling off suffices with him. With childminder I'm less sure.

harryhausen · 19/06/2014 12:09

I totally agree with Minnie. A bit of an over-reaction I think - to be 'so shocked' !

I have a 7 year old ds (and a 9 yr old dd). Compared to my dd he finds bums, poo, willies, wee and farting hilarious. He fairly well behaved but has had his moments of brain-failGrin. Wee-ing in a bottle and threatening to throw it at someone is something I could see him doing, especially if there was a chance he could annoy his sister!

Of course it's not right, of course tell him off but honestly? It's all a bit normal child stupidity in my eyes.

jimble1 · 19/06/2014 14:59

Ok, thank you everyone - I guess your right that the fact its wee made me so shocked, your spot on that if it was just water I would have shrugged and moved on quickly.

I'll take a big breath and get over it - I have explained he needs to think twice before doing things - would mum & dad like it/would you like it being done to you and if its no - then dont do it.

Hopefully that does the trick. Thanks for the answers.

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