Loooooong Cub Camp for sensitive (PFB!) DS....??!

[misspollysdollyridesagain]

Ds1 is nearly 9. Of all my 4 DCs he is the most sensitive and the most likely to cause himself - and me in turn - anxiety. He has been going to Beavers and now Cubs since he was 6 years old and has thrown himself into everything and seems to really love it. The only blip we have had is that at the Halloween party (bearing in mind we don't really do Halloween as a family) they sang a truly horrible song which caused him to have nightmares and not want to go for several weeks until we informed them of his distress and they said they would avoid singing it if he was there (I have never ever made such a request before, by the way, I'm not usually a fussy parent or demanding in that way, but this was exceptional) That aside, he then spent one night away with cubs last autumn, which he enjoyed. He is now interested in going away in the summer on camp but we are all a little nervous at the prospect as his cub pack are going away for seven nights...!!! We have no family nearby and haven't really done sleepovers so apart from one night spent with my auntie once, another occasion of one night away with my sister and this cub one night sleepover he has not spent any time away from home and from us - seven nights seems such an extremely long time from just a couple of 'one nighters' and I am anxious (he is my PFB as stated...!) that chucking in at the deep end may not be the best approach. His cub leader has said that he will keep in touch with us during the week and he has told us (and DS) that he could come home midweek if needed - I'm not sure that's the best thing to have said to DS, but I guess it is reassuring...

That said, he IS nearly nine and is becoming increasingly in need of challenge and 'stuff to do' with others outside of the family unit. He's a bit cocky and cheeky at home and of all of mine is the least inclined to help out with chores or use his own initiative and I sort of wonder whether cub camp would encourage a bit of independence and responsibility....?

Anyone else chucked their DC in at the deep end like this?? With what outcome?? Is is going to be ok?!

Bump. Anyone...?

Mumsnet ate my reply. In short: let him go!
Nothing to lose, lots to gain. Good for you both: much better/safer than first holiday away being a school one IMO.
It is going to be OK!

I am a long serving Brownie leader. It breaks my heart to see girls missing out on some amazing and confidence building opportunities because of their parents anxieties.

Often even if the children do attend, they are strongly influenced by their parents worry witnessed at home and end up crying and wanting to go home. What bothers me most about this is that there is often a sence of satisfaction from the parents when they are telephoned to collect DC early (that they secretly wanted the child to miss home and not enjoy themselves, that the homesickness justifies their earlier worries).

I firmly believe that children would be more adventurous and take the lead from parents, if only parents would share in the excitement of the challenge.

I do not speak just as a Brownie leader though. My son is in cubs and is also experiencing his first long camp over the summer (having just done one cub sleepover previously). My daughter is also going on her first big camp this year.

My default position is "Oh my, that sounds soooooooo exciting! Do you want to go" [big grin]. Of course my excitement is catching and he cannot ait for the adventure. I would be massively surprised if he gets homesick - I expect him to be having far too much fun to give me a second thought (and it is that fact that some precious parents find so hard to accept).

Another Brownie Leader here. Make Let him go!!!

He'll have a fantastic time, and be far too busy to be homesick. You may well miss him, but he won't miss you one jot.

He'll come home tired and filthy, but full of stories to tell.

The Leaders have done it all before - they will know how to make sure everyone is happy, but if the worst comes to the worst, of course they will call you and ask you to come and get him. (they won't need to though).

Hahaha! It may affect your perception of the answers so far if I mention I'm a Brownie leader too!
What a surprise: 'Brownie Volunteers advocate adventurous outlook for PFBs!!'

I'm not a brownie leader but I have worked in childcare for 15yrs and my 12yr old son has gone through the ranks and is now a sea scout. His first camp was nerve wracking but I put on a brave face and sent him. He had a blast and has since been on many camps including a week in Holland last year. He comes back filthy in the same pants as he went in but his new experiences that he has enjoyed are 2nd to none. I'm currently in the process of paying for another week of camping in August. He will not have time to miss you he'll be so busy during the day and shattered at night.

I'm not a Brownie leader (:)) but my quiet, shy DD was very unsure about her first 2-night Brownie camp having had an unexpected meltdown on a one day trip weeks earlier.
I played the 'oh it will be brilliant being with your friends, doing lots of exciting things' card and she knew that if it all got too much I could pick her up to sleep at home and go back the next day (I do believe in being honest with them and, for her, knowing there was a 'safety net' helped ) She had A BALL and was so proud of herself for doing it which, in turn, gave her the confidence to try other things she was unsure of.
She is now a big, 11 year old Guide and is usually the first to sign up to any adventure away (and to complain that her Guide pack don't do enough of them - 2 in 3 months obviously not enough in her eyes!!)

Make it a big exciting thing, let him go and be prepared to have to peal his clothes off him when he comes back as he won't have changed at all :o

If he wants to go , let him. He will have a brilliant time, and the leaders will keep an eye on him.
My DS had only had a couple of sleepovers at grannys before he went on his first cub camp and loved it. He is now a Scout and still goes on the camps. DD has just come back from a week in the Isle of Wight with Brownies.
I have taken Brownies away in the past - we know what to look out for. The secret is to keep them constantly busy - they never have a moment to think about home. I have never had to send one home yet
It will do wonders for your DSs confidence - I think you might be surprised by how much he has changed when he gets home.