Defiant 5.5 yr old .Please tell me it is a phase

[alison222]

My Ds has recently become very defiant shouting "NO" at us when we ask him to do anything, continuing to do things he has been told not to and knows he shouldn't be doing, ignoring us and being mean to hes 3.5 year old sister.

Is this a phase that others have gone through?
What can I do to snap him out of it. I can't ignore some of hte behaviour he has exhibited in the last week or so it is either nasty or downright dangerous - like funning out of shops when out with me or hurting his sister.

Tried all the usual time outs, warnings and then removing treats so now what?

OH dear must preview - I mean "running" out of shops

tie his arms and legs together.. well that's what I feell like doing to my ds who is the same. My MIL says he is "testing the boundaries" stick to your guns, and don't shout back. It's v hard though

yes its a phase

its a looooooooooooooooooooong one though

I think it stops when they're about 27

twiglett, I wasn't going to put that bit about it happening forever..

honestly .. DS had a bad phase of semi-defiance and isn't now .. but that doesn't mean he won't again .. I just ignore / shout / rant / time-out dependent on how much patience I have

He might have killed me off by the time he gets to 27 if he carries on like this.

Ok so he's testing the boundaries so how many phases of this do I have to endure before he gets to be a sulky teenager and then it doesn't stop?

I did take the reins out with me this afternoon as a threat. Oddly enough he didn't run away but I was dreading the thought of having to use them in a busy shopping street. He then left his new school drink cup on the bus but that's another story......

I think you need to work on your "looking bored" look. He sounds like he's doing stuff which is guarenteed to get your attention!

i dont accept no.

its no htank you or not aat all
ds3 is learnign this hte har dway at the moment

same thing here Alison. I practice my impassive buddhist monk look. However I did tell her today that I was fed up with it and she began kissing my wrists (and feet!)which didn't feel quite right either

How many of these "phases" can they have though?!

My board look is all well and good - but hurting his sister or running off for instance can't just be ignored sadly.
It was the first day back at scool today and I know he ws worried as they have mixed the 2 year clasees up and he has been split from his 2 best friends who are in the other class. BUT he won't talk about it. Not sure that I can put all of the current behvour down to that and anyway I need to get rid of the defiance for my own sanity.

don't know the answers I'm afraid. Finding it is going on a long time here too.

Has he been in receptoin and now going into year 1? That is, is this now the end of his summer break?

The reason I ask is that my friend and I were chatting the other day and it seems that her ds, as well as mine (they are both 5.5) have been 'going off the rails' a bit the last couple of weeks. We were thinking it's just time to go back to school, back to a routine.

Could this be the case for your ds do you think?

Aha - just seen your last post. So it could be that he was just fed up and ready to go back to his structured day?

Possibly - just off to collect so will see what sort of day he has had.
Fingers and everything else crossed