DD is nearly 3. Last night she refused to have her hair washed. She usually takes a bit of persuasion but yesterday nothing worked. I usually go for a matter of fact "let's wash your hair" and if that doesn't work making it into a game or being silly myself to lighten the mood. This went on for ages and she still refused and she's to old/big to do it without her consent now. So I moved on to various mean-mummy tactics including refusing to play with her until she washed her hair and threatening loss of a fun activity (we have a party to go to today). She eventually ended up sat in a stone cold bath crying her eyes out while I washed her hair and was upset for some time afterwards. Yesterday it was hair washing, often its teeth cleaning or getting dressed, sometimes its eating or leaving the house/park/wherever.
Now I get that she's a typical toddler and that she's trying to exercise some control over her life. Im all for giving her options and some basic negotiations and I refuse to argue about things that don't matter but some things just have to be done. How do I make her understand and get some compliance?