1 year old shrieking

[omuwalamulungi]

He does it fairly constantly, not just when he's angry. It's been almost 3 weeks. I'm home visiting family at the moment and my parents are stressing me out refusing to follow my decision to ignore him totally when he shrieks and pay attention to him when he makes a "nicer" communicative noise. I figured he wouldn't understand why he shouldn't do it but would soon realise he didn't get any attention that way. Instead they will ignore me and alternate between "don't do that darling" and shouting at him, he's one FFS he doesn't understand and shouting will surely only encourage him to be louder. It also gives him totally mixed messages.

It's undermining my confidence as a parent cos they're just saying no our way is better when actually I don't think it is. My brother and I were famously very well behaved/quiet when we went out and I think they were just bloody lucky with that. It has made going out with them anywhere really stressful cos every time he screams they are looking round apologising to people and loudly acknowledging that he's loud in a way that's for everyone elses benefit to show we aren't "that sort" who let their kids run wild.

So how can I encourage him not to scream? How can I stop my parents driving me up the wall in the next four weeks?!

Talk quietly to show him how it's done, this phase will pass.

Oh my DS loves to do that awful shrieking noise, it's developed into a siren noise which he kicks off with every time he sees an ambulance, police car or fire engine (toy/real/image/colour!) so I feel your pain! When he first started shrieking I taught him to whisper, his only word at this point was 'hello' so I used to distract him by whispering it to him and he found it funny. Once he was distracted from the shrieking he had a go at whispering instead, it didn't stop him from trying the shrieking but it distracted him once he'd started as I'm sure he was doing it for attention.

You've done absolutely the right thing by ignoring completely, I'm sorry your parents haven't been more supportive with this as once they've had attention for it it does just reinforce the shrieking more. I found once DS realise he could make other noises then the shrieking decreased significantly. He's 18 months now and doesn't shriek as much but he has found other ways of embarrassing me in public, as have my parents. Good luck, it will pass.

You are not alone! My foster baby (18 months) does this constantly. I ignore, refuse to engage with him when he screams, and sometimes try to vocalise what he screams about - though quite often he just screams because he likes it. It's very hard. My daughter is autistic and can't be in the same room as him.

No idea what to do about your parents :(

My darling nephew did this , very hard but you are doing the right thing .He's not being naughty he's just discovered a new skill and a new noise , he's enjoying it and exploring his voice .

Do you have to stay 4 weeks , could you just cut your visit short , find some excuse . If your parents are finding him difficult then maybe they would be secretly quite relieved

Unfortunately we've come 4000 miles and won't be back again til Christmas. Other than this one thing it's fine though, I feel bad for complaining.

Thanks for the replies, I know it's just a phase really but it's so frustrating and good to know I'm not alone!

Try not to take your parents' approach as a criticism of your parenting - easier said than done, I know! They're just doing their best, like you are, and it won't help if you all argue about it! Just continue with your own parenting methods and wait for this to pass. It will, I promise!

Sometimes when my DH and I are chatting, we think DS (17 months) is playing happily/not interested in us, but he starts "talking" and gets louder and louder because he wants to be in the conversation. We just take it in turns to focus on him for a bit - play with him, talk directly to him - full eye contact etc. I think at this age they don't understand the ignoring when they doing something "wrong" thing, they just get more frustrated.

Does your DS do it while everyone is talking? Or while you're in a noisey environment (even if it doesn't seem that noisey to you). Probably just seeing how he can get involved/wants attention. Don't feel bad, maybe go to more kid-friendly places for the rest of the stay. And NEVER apologise for having a noisey toddler. It's what they do! Oh and your parents have forgotten how it was. Definitely!