DS is 4: has sleep problems, anxiety, and is terrified of dreaming. Where do I get help?

[shroedingersdodo]

I've posted about DS (4y) before, as sleep has always been a problem. He's had night terrors for a long time, he is very active (sometimes too much), frequently agitated (day and night), and now that he can explain things, he says he doesn't like to sleep because he is afraid of dreaming.

He's described some of his dreams and they are scary, like seeing a headless man in Sainsburys.

It's heartbreaking to see him in bed fighting sleep. You can see clearly that is terrified of falling asleep: he throws legs and arms around, sits up, shakes his head, tries to grab me or DH...

Even after he falls asleep, he wakes up several times a night, and moves a lot all the time. During the day he is always tired and with bags under his eyes. I've pushed a lot to investigate possible physical reasons for that, but he doesn't have obstructions on airways, no sleep apnea, no allergies, no tongue tie.

I have anxiety and currently take ADs, and probably my own anxiety affects him. I really don't know where to go from here.

I would like to have some psychotherapy for him - can I ask the GP to refer him? I live in Greenwich and mental health services here are rubbish (I used to live in Camden and they were amazing).

Is there anywhere I can go to ask for advice? I feel lost.

Thanks!

No ideas but wanted to bump for you.
Xx

I don't know if this will help at all or if it is a silly idea but I saw a MNer post on here maybe a year ago now that for her daughter who was 3 had nightmares so she got her a fairy to sit over watching her while she slept and a pot of fairy dust glitter and told her DD that the fairy was going to stop any of the nasty dreams getting to her with her magic fairy dust.

She said it worked and helped her DD relax and the dreams stopped.

Have you tried anything like that? I can only imagine the fear of the scary dreams could possibly make them reoccur?

Have you looked into play therapy? My DH and I were quite sceptical about this until we tried it, and it has helped DS (just 4) enormously. His nightmares were beginning to intrude into daytime as well, making him fearful of going out in case the dream creatures got him while he was walking down the street. We were desperate to get help. After about a month of play therapy (an hour a week) we began to notice a difference. He now seems much more in control of his fear of dreaming, and has also begun to overcome other fears (including dogs, which we never thought possible!). I think it has helped DS a lot to be able to communicate through play to someone outside his family who is sympathetic and attentive as well as professionally trained to guide him gently towards a way of overcoming those fears. We found our therapist through the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy website.

What has also made a difference is that on two set days a week he sleeps next to me while DH is in the spare room. It has backfired a couple of times when he's wanted to do this every night, but by staying firm we have managed to stick to just those two days without any problems.

Good luck!

Hiya, bit random as I'm an adult, but I have suffered with night terrors for years. The only thing that had ever helped me is to prevent shadows in a room. So the room must be Either pitch black (led standby lights and curtain cracks are the bane of my sleep) or light enough to stop obvious shadows. I've tried a lot of things over the years but preventig shadows is the only thing that has worked.

I know night terrors in children tend to be different, but worth a try!

Hope things improve.

Do speak to the GP. Also, this may sound silly, but have you checked his iron levels? I remember reading somewhere that low iron levels can cause very restless sleep for children.

Aww poor thing! Have you had his sight tested too? My DS sleeps with his eyes open (ish) sometimes which I assume could mean he sees shadows/light etc that might get interpreted differently asleep...he's had a few night terrors but I've never before this thread thought any more into why they could happen. You could try a sleep mask maybe to block out any light...

I saw a post going round on FB which may sound a bit silly...but if it is psychological, also may be worth a try... someone had got a prescription label printed out and stuck it on a spray bottle of water...it read something along the lines of "for use in the prevention of monsters" ...I guess you could adapt it and make something like that.

Failing everything else...could he sleep in the bed with you and then you carry him into his own bed once asleep?

Thanks a lot for the suggestions!

Cameorole, I will look at play therapy (did you go private? I was trying to get something through the NHS, but private therapy may be an option...)

BungalowBill and choochootrain, I was thinking of getting him a "dreamcatcher", but never got round to do it. Will do it now. It would work the same way as the anti-monster spray or the fairy - hopefully :)

Lizardbreath that's an interesting suggestion, worth a try!

Avacat, I used to give him iron supplements - also tried magnesium, but none of them made any difference. I'm trying passiflora now, which is a herbal enxiety remedy - and taking it myself as well.

Choochootrain1, he's been to the eye hospital recently (for an unrelated problem), and they checked his sight. But sometimes he does sleep with his eyes open, so I can try the mask.

Re sleeping with us, he already does it! DH sleeps in his room during the night! As you can see, his bad sleep is very disruptive to all of us.