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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Anyone use a naughty step?

36 replies

kid · 02/09/2006 15:21

DS is 4.5 and becoming a real handful lately. He has always been strong willed but he is getting out of hand now.
There are 2 things that I want him to stop doing, I want him to stop shouting at me and to stop hitting his sister.

I started using the naughty step (which I never liked the idea of before) 4 days ago. It started really well, on the first day he was sent to it 3 times, on the 2nd day just once. But on the 3rd day, he just refused to stay on it. After I take him off the step, he says that he doesn't like it so I remind him why he was sent there and if he didn't shout/smack then I wouldn't make him sit there.

Now today, he is on the step but shouting and screaming at me. He shouts any insults he thinks he can get away with, throws anything near him, picks at the stairs.

How long does it take or do you think there is a better method to control his behaviour?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

albatros · 02/09/2006 17:13

Yes it's the same principle as marbles only cheaper we count up at the end of a week 20 pieces earns a small treat (ie. they pick a game and everyone inc. DP plays) 25 earns a trip to the park and 30 earns whatever else I can think of.
That is not to say they don't pick and play games the rest of the time but somehow it is different when it's treat time IYKWIM

princessmel · 02/09/2006 17:16

Did you start with any pasta in either jar? We had equal amounts in each.

albatros · 02/09/2006 20:53

I start of with 15 pieces in the treat jars and a pot with loads in I do not have a 'sad' jar, a single piece is added or taken away depending on behaviour. I am very concious now of making sure I reward good behaviour as I have used this before and it ends up me just taking it when they have mis behaved and not remembering to reward them a piece when they are helpful, polite, good etc. It works really well for my girls dd1 is 5 and loves getting extra dd2 is 3 and is just getting to understand how it works. I have only just started dd2's and because she saw me let dd1 get a bit after she had read to me she keeps bringing me books to read and after I have read them she asks for her piece of pasta
I have placed them where they can reach them this time as well, so far dd1 has only run of with it once when I was going to remove a piece. I will have to see how it goes and maybe move them out of reach if she starts doing this to often.

Mirage · 02/09/2006 21:22

We use the naughty step for dd1.We only had to use it a couple of times before the message got through.The last time she was sent to it was New Years Day,ever since then we've not needed to use it.

If she does start to misbehave,just the mention of the naughty step stops her right in her tracks.

It will be interesting to see how dd2,who has a will of steel & lungs like nothing on earth will react when she is sent there for the first time.

Vindaloo · 02/09/2006 21:52

I had a naughty corner as i live in flat with no steps. DD is 2.6, in the beginning it worked but now its a big joke and she thinks its a game, no matter how serious and calm I am being. DD was always a live wire but she seems to be extra cheeky at thge moment. I like the pasta/marbles jar, what age would recomend starting this? A few people have suggested star charts but I am not sure is ready (if ever!!) for that.

ameli · 07/09/2006 12:16

My ds is nearly two. We do use a step as a last resort after giving a warning fails. When i tell him to sit on it he knows mummy means business and that im very upset with him,thing is he looks so cute sitting there looking all guilty! then after a few minutes , say about 4 minutes, i will go to him and say why i put him there and keep trying to tell him what he did was wrong..im pretty sure he understand. Then after the telling off we hug and sometimes the lesson is learnt...othertimes it's back on the step for the same crime.

BellaVictoria · 11/09/2006 03:42

does the pasta thing work with 2 year olds? do they get the whole idea?

DominiConnor · 11/09/2006 22:24

We use the step for 2yo DS.

It seems to help him understand when his behaviour is unacceptable.
We use it for "purposeful" badness, like doing something when told not to, or for "obvious" bad like hitting people, and refusing to say sorry.

We don't use it for the normal random breaking of rules, but when there is a conscious understanding that he is being bad.
Thus he stay on the step until he calms down and apologises.
I'm not a great fan of punishment as a form of retribution, mostly because it doesn't work.
For a 2yo to understand that doing bad means punishment, there has to be a simple quick connection, or all you are doing is inflicting random suffering.

bubble99 · 11/09/2006 22:28

DominiConnor. Can I just say? I do not find you remotely 'troll-like?' As has oft been suggested here on mnet. In fact, I often admire your ability to give pause for thought (or rant) to our more 'pinko' mnetters.

Good for you, I say.

DominiConnor · 12/09/2006 07:59

Well, thank you. I find it sad they attack me personally, not what I say. I find it bizarre that people see me as right wing given I'm anti-religion and complain about the way the education system lets down poor coloured kids and many girls.

april74 · 12/09/2006 08:13

We use the naughty step on DS almost 7, still works well, although he is hardly on it, once or twice a month or something.

I used to send him to his room, but hardly a punishment being sent to his bedroom.

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