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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Wd love experience/advice on "evening fretting"

11 replies

MsPea · 02/09/2006 08:52

Hi, my dd is only 9 days old but we have noticed a pattern emerging over the past few days. She is unsettled and grizzly in the evening, despite there being nothing definite eg wind, nappy etc wrong. It starts about 8pm and lasts til 12 or even 2. She is temporarily comforted by food and a snooze, but not for long. Finding this behaviour confusing and a bit dispiriting. Would love to hear other people's experiences and any tips for dealing with this.

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Sunnysideup · 02/09/2006 09:42

MsPea, I REALLY sympathise and I'm sure you'll get loads of replies as I think most people have experinced this. I definitely did with my ds, though thankfully not for quite so many hours...but he did have his evening scream for a good few weeks...

we used infacol before every feed in case it was colic-y, and we burped him SOOOO religiously after every feed as we definitely had more screaming if he had at any point in the day NOT got a burp out of him after a feed! And that's about all that we did really, don't even know if it helped really; they seem to grow out of it by about 12 weeks, that was like a magic figure for us as he became MUCH more settled then. But by 12 weeks I was feeding him much more regularly, about every 3 hours and maybe this helped.

Hope someone else will have more answers than me, but I am thinking of you. It's such a hard time. But it will end!

Caththerese1973 · 02/09/2006 10:05

My dd (now 3.6) was exactly the same. There would be a period, usually in the evening, when she would wail dismally, for about two hours, for no apparent reason. Feeding didn't seem to help - in fact a couple of times she just brought the milk up again, probably because I had overfed her.
One thing that seemed to help was putting her in a sling and walking around. Tiring but it did seem to settle her. I got a sling that sort of simulated the womb - it was strapped on in front of me, so dd's tummy and torso were touching my torso. She would turn her head to one side and sort of doze off after I walked around with her like this for half an hour or so, and then I would sneak her into her bassinet.

lilymolly · 02/09/2006 10:37

dd dis this from about 6pm till 11pm just when we wanted to eat, and spend time with dp, I was demented as I wanted dd to have a bedtime- everynight -someone told me it was colic/wind so i gave her infacol,gripe water etc.
We started a routine of: bathed at 6pm, had boob then in cot by 6.30-7pm,if she woke we would keep going up and settling her- sometimes with bf, sometimes just a cuddle, then at about 8 weeks we cracked it- she slept till 10pm then woke for feed then went back to sleep. the key is consistancy- dark room now eye contact etc..This is sooooo common in newborns-it will pass,Try to enjoy this moment as I PROMISE you will forget it! I am struggling to remember and dd is only 8months old!!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 02/09/2006 10:42

This is utterly normal behaviour.

Some babies are "colicky". Seems like you are doing all the right things. Some babies seem to want to "cluster feed" in the evenings, this, if you are breastfeeding, helps to increase your milk supply. Just keep offering feeds etc. It will get better eventually.

liath · 02/09/2006 14:38

Ditto, dd used to have a real case of the evening grizzles. Totally normal but hard to cope with as I was knackered by that time of day and DH often worked late. She grew out of it, can't remember when exactly - probably by 3 months anyway. The sling helped, so did swaddling & rocking.

Original poster

MsPea · 02/09/2006 16:46

Thankyou so much everybody. It makes a huge difference just to know that this is normal and not something we are doing wrong. The cluster feeding thing is interesting as I am bf, and she definitely does this. Is there any reason her evening feeds should make her windier than her morning ones? (Maybe just cos I'm tired and less strict about latching on as well as possible). Will try the sling, too as she really likes hers. Will let you know how I get on. Thanks again. Mumsnet- what a fantastic resource.

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 02/09/2006 19:50

You are welcome MrsPea

MN is a truly fantastic place, tis true.

dreamteamgirl · 02/09/2006 23:01

Hi MsPea
Can totally relate as we had the same- I so wish we had been warned about it. It does pass.

Great link here kelly mom all about it

Gobbledigook · 02/09/2006 23:03

This is sooooo normal! I don't know waht to suggest as with ds1 we just had to take it in turns to walk round and round the dining table with him, or dance with him. He grew out of it eventually.

Tbh, we never had it with ds2 or ds3 but we didn't 'hold' them to sleep or anything - just used to put them down in the basket awake (a la she who cannot be mentioned!) and they slept like dreams!

ediemay · 02/09/2006 23:09

Hi MsPea, I sympathise because DS was colicky. Keeping him upright in the sling with a blanky tucked round worked best - the Babybjorn style of sling where you can put them down asleep without disturbing them. It will pass - don't be dispirited!

Peridot30 · 02/09/2006 23:12

normal behaviour. takes a month or so to get them in2 routine. when my son was born the 'eastenders' theme tune would set him of crying for the next few hours. eventually had to put tv on 2 mute. ridiculous behaviour but gave us a peaceful night!!!! dont worry bout it. baby will settle soon. good luck x

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