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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Naps - please help

28 replies

Echocave · 30/05/2014 13:36

My dd2 is about to turn 7 months and her daytime naps are still awful. I know I should be grateful that her night time sleeping at the moment is good but the days are - and always have been - terrible.

She has 3 naps a day. Her basic problem is that after 40 minutes she wakes up and on most days she cannot get herself back to sleep. She usually has (on a good day) 40 minutes in morning (though I wish she'd have an hour), 1 hr 30 if we are lucky at lunch and 30 mins in buggy at 4pm.

I have tried everything to get her day naps right - blackout blinds, white noise, timing naps so no more than 2.5 hours between them, making sure she's properly winded before nap (I think she has mild reflux but no one else seems to care). But nothing works. And after 6 months I could cry with frustration. I now just Leave her in her cot with white noise on.

She definitely needs sleep as she is very miserable without it.

I considered dropping a nap but they are all so appalling that I daren't risk losing more sleep.

I know this is boring and I sound obsessed but I am going back to work soon and am very worried that if she doesn't get better she will never nap properly.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:

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jessiemummy28 · 30/05/2014 13:46

I am watching with interest as I have the same problem, except my nearly 7 month DD has 40 minutes in the morning, 40 minutes at lunch at 40 minutes in the afternoon, which nowhere near enough! I have also tried everything to get her to sleep longer and am at the end of my tether. She has only napped for longer than 40 minutes at a time during the day about 5 times since she was born!

Original poster

Echocave · 30/05/2014 13:48

You have my sympathy! Hopefully someone will be along soon...

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ThinkIveBeenHacked · 30/05/2014 13:51

What about the Wake To Sleep method? I put dd down to nap in her buggy so I could use this method:

Put down to sleep, and 30/35 mins into the sleep gently rouse them, but not enough to wake them, which apparently sends them into another sleep cycle.

Sleep cycles are 40/45 mins long roughly.

misslaughalot · 30/05/2014 13:52

This was my DD too. I tried so many different things and I the end just resigned myself to the fact she wasn't ever going to sleep for longer, despite seeming to need it. At about 12 months it became really hard to get her down for the first nap of the day and so we moved to a lunchtime nap at 11.30. She's 18 months now and you can time her nap to the minute, 1hr 45 mins ever day (when she's at home anyway, she never sleeps as long at nursery but at least she does sleep.)

Sorry, nothing really helpful there!

CockD0dger · 30/05/2014 13:52

Is it possible that it is just that she is one of those babies that sleeps less?

Mine always slept for 40 mins each nap.

The 'No Cry Sleep Solution' book has some good info in it for how much sleep to expect and I think I remember it saying they need 14 hours in total over 24 hours, dp if she's getting that, I wouldn't worry.

CockD0dger · 30/05/2014 13:53

*so not dp!

CockD0dger · 30/05/2014 13:54

*so not dp!

Original poster

Echocave · 30/05/2014 13:59

I feel a bit desperate because I'm a bit worried there's something wrong with her. She doesn't get 14 hours in each 24 hours although probably gets 13 hours.

The wake to sleep method sounds risky but worth a go. Thank you.

This will sound ludicrous but I feel really disappointed that I'm still struggling with this and how much it's impacting my life. I have another child who has to creep around like a burglar so as not to disturb the baby. It's ridiculous.

OP posts:

violetlights · 30/05/2014 14:01

Firstly let me say in no expert! My baby didn't nap well at all...

But I was told at an NCT class that the forty minutes is the first 'cycle' and to encourage DC back to sleep for the longer second cycle (white noise, shhhing, tummy rubbing, humming, singing, dummy). None of it really worked for me though. A few times, after being up for 5 mins I would put him straight back down and he would fall asleep again. Didn't happen much though.

You're probably getting three naps a day as the second one isn't long enough (I think most people say 40 mins in the am is pretty normal don't they?). You could try dropping the later nap and seeing why happens? By 12 months my LO began to just want one...

Hopefully someone more helpful will be along soon and tell us the magic words...

violetlights · 30/05/2014 14:03

Also my baby never got the recommended level of sleep. But the only side affect was grumpiness (bad enough!!!) - it didn't affect his development or health at all...

DrMouse · 30/05/2014 14:12

I think 1.5 hours at lunch is pretty good! My DS (7months) only sleeps for 40 mins - an hour if I'm lucky. If it's a short one I try to make sure he has another nap in the afternoon. Sounds like you are doing all the right things Echo... not sure really that there is much you can do! And if she's sleeping well at night - that's great (nighttime also terrible here!)

makesomenoise · 30/05/2014 14:14

I really feel for you, this takes me back. Google 'the 40 minute sleep intruder" as it is so common there is plenty of advice out there! Good luck.

RiverTam · 30/05/2014 14:15

DD was similar, a good nighttime sleeper but not so great at naps. I could get 90 mins out of her in the morning, but the other 2 naps were 30 mins max (4pm one usually in the buggy). Looking back I spent far too long trying to extend these.

You'll be pleased to know that sometime after she turned one she settled into the one 2-hour post-lunch nap which was just bliss, and she kept it up until she was about 2.9.

StormyBrid · 30/05/2014 14:15

We had the forty minute wake up issue too. Nothing worked. I despaired. At ten months DD decided she was only having one nap. Of up to three hours. That's not a great deal of use to you right now, but hopefully it will give you some optimism about the future.

Original poster

Echocave · 30/05/2014 14:17

Oh DrMouse, I'm sorry your nights are hard too. Poor you. I think one of the problems is that I have just been diagnosed with PND and it is definitely not helped by stressing over the days. I've had another thread recently about the baby shouting all the time. I think it's because she's tired. I have just burst into tears after a 40 minute nap came to an end at 12.45.
Now I don't know if I can even fit in a feed before she needs to go out in the buggy for her next nap.

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Mutley77 · 30/05/2014 14:27

My DD was the same. She is now 11 months and dropped the third nap between 7-8 months, the other 2 naps were still short. About 4-6 weeks ago she cut the morning nap very short (with encouragement from me - I try to let her drop off in the car or buggy and wake her by moving her after about 15 or 20 mins). I can as a result put her down in her cot after lunch and she will sleep for 2 hours or more and I love it!!!

I can also get her back to bed after lunch even if she has dropped off in the car at 11/11.30 for a few minutes as the routine is so well established - it has definitely been worth the wait.

But other than cutting the morning nap short (which I couldn't have done until she was 9-10 months as she still needed it before then) she unfortunately didn't respond to anything from me. It just seemed to be a process that naturally happened.

I'm hoping that a stop to her night wakings will follow suit just as naturally

jessiemummy28 · 30/05/2014 14:45

There's no way mine gets 14 hours a day, id say 11-12 at an absolute maximum :(

Original poster

Echocave · 30/05/2014 14:48

I think the worst thing is that she then moans and shouts and I feel annoyed with her but deep down I know she can't help it.
I actually cannot wait to go back to work because it is less hassle.

OP posts:

dolicapax · 30/05/2014 14:51

Children are all individuals, and if she is napping in a regular pattern I think you need to accept that is her pattern. My dd rarely napped more than 40 mins at that age, and now at 14 months has one nap a day, of 1 - 2 hours.

Original poster

Echocave · 30/05/2014 14:52

Tbh though Jessie my dn hardly slept at all and now he's 2 and he is great - he's grown and developed fine so I would try not to worry about that aspect at least.

OP posts:

Original poster

Echocave · 30/05/2014 14:55

I don't accept that she only needs that much sleep Dolicapax. She does sometimes do much longer and I think she needs it. This afternoon she will be grumpy as hell I expect.

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jessiemummy28 · 30/05/2014 15:39

I'm pretty sure my DD needs longer as she seems to be constantly yawning and rubbing her eyes. She's generally a happy little thing though and rarely cries/ is grumpy so maybe she does need less than other babies. Even at a couple of days old she would go 2 hours between sleeps and be happily awake. I think if she could extend her lunchtime nap to a hour/an hour and a half then that would be enough for her.

Original poster

Echocave · 30/05/2014 15:46

Jessie maybe we just need to hang on until they're 7 months then force them to drop a nap?i am literally going nuts and I've had enough of it. She is now shouting in her buggy. I have iPod up very loud and am ignoring.

OP posts:

naty1 · 31/05/2014 09:41

Can they go to sleep by themselves or are you assisting?
Once they can put themselves to sleep more likely to put back to sleep when they wake.
I ended up putting down on tummy at 11m and DD slept better.

Original poster

Echocave · 31/05/2014 10:39

Sometimes dd manages to go back to sleep within a few minutes, other times she is awake for a good half hour then falls asleep or she can't get back to sleep at all.
I do not go in at all unless theres a lot of crying.

I use white noise and sometimes increase the volume a bit (which we can do without really having to open the door).

OP posts:

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