18 mo baby won't talk...when to worry?

[DoItTooJulia]

My 18 mo ds just won't talk! And it's driving me a bit mad! He needs to talk!

He seems to understand so much. He can point to any part of his body if I say them out loud, he can fetch his shoes if I say 'go and find your shoes and bring them to me', he can shake his head for no and the only word he says is yeah.

He is communicative in other ways, says uh-oh, waves, points.

He seems to be super sensitive to background noise. In the garden, if an aeroplane goes over, or a motorbike goes past he points to his ears and says 'ah'. He says 'ah' instead of any other word. If the boiler kicks in (which is actually quite quiet) he points to his ears. I think it's worse with things he can't see that makes noise. I'm thinking its a stage he is going through, all of a sudden he's aware of the noises and is trying to figure the out, but I'm a bit worried about dismissing something that could be bothering him.

When do I worry? Will he talk in his own time? Or should I do something? How can I encourage him to talk? I've tried all the tell mummy what you want, and similar stuff, but he's resolute!

Facial expression, gesturing, eye contact and using intonation is all communication and good that he's using it
Does he babble - dadada or Manama or banana or nanana.
Or similar. If he does babble back to him in play conversations. This is practicing conversation and forming sounds. Next stage is blending babbling madabama etc. continue babbling with him in conversation style. This all underpins talking.
Use ' ready steady go' say the rhyme over and over and at go something brilliant happens. He gets tickled , bubbles blown, let go down a slide - anything really stimulating. Then just say ready steady and wait 5 seconds or so. See if he try's to say go or initiates go by a noise or gesture. If he says go you tickle him etc straight away. If he gestures say go and then tickle him etc.
what you are doing is kind of exploding communication from him. He desperately wants to be tickled/ thrown in the sir etc and knows that when you say go it happens. If nothing happens after 5 seconds you say go and continue with game.
Nursery rhymes. Leave the last word in a sentence out, wait 5 sec or so to see if he fills it in.
If your worried talk to your health visitor if just to put your mind at rest. Mummy worry is the worst.
I hope the tips help a little.

Some children are late talkers despite our efforts- so don't feel you are to blame OP.

I would suggest a hearing test though, that's very important. Speak to your HV or GP.
My children would not have "exploded" into communication- they were just not at that stage. My son said his first word at 36 months, my DD was 42 months at first word. So I have heard it all.

Thanks both, appreciate the replies!

We do lots of communication stuff, but I like some of the ideas mentioned, so will give them a try.

He has hit all of his milestones on time or early, so this is a bit of a surprise. Also his brother (7 years older) was chatting away to me at this age and it makes things so much easier when they can talk to you!

My brother only started to talk at 3 and he is highly intelligent and successful. Your ds understands and communicates so I don't think you need to worry.

First, I think you should try to stop thinking that he 'doesn't want to talk' but rather that 'he can't talk yet'. It's not his fault or want that he doesn't speak. It's like everything else - it's a developmental stage, so many functions of the brain and muscles need to be ready for a child to start to talk.

There are many websites and books you can look at, which provide practical tips. But the first thing you should do is to not ask to many questions, or put him under any pressure to speak. Just shorten your sentences, keep it really short - three words - and repeat key words often. Keep it really simple and use lots of expressions such as 'mmmmm' when he eats, 'vroommm' when playing with cars, make lots of animal noises, use short words such as 'up, down, up, down' and repeat lots of times, every day. So basically don't say 'Harry, could you please get your shoes we are going out' you say 'get shoes, yes, brown shoes. Shoes. Nice shoes.' I know it sounds stupid, and he understands the long sentences, but he needs to learn simple short words and when he will have enough simple words in his 'bank', he will start putting them together. And praise every sounds he makes, even if not right.
The best book available is 'it takes two to talk' it's expensive to buy but you can get it from the library.

The fact that he can point and understand a lot is really positive so I wouldn't worry, he's got it all in there and it'll come out soon!

Thanks all.

I think rocketjam might have a point. I do feel like it's a bit of a willfull thing....but I know that it's not. I'm struggling to square up the understanding everything and communicating in other ways and the lack of talking.

The other thing I worry about is trying to be relaxed about it and thinking hell do it soon enough, but then thinking maybe I should do something? How long do I wait before being relaxed about it turns into not doing something I should've? IYSWIM?

I agree with rocketjam- my children were very late talkers- I had a lot of advice- some very insulting.
Others suggested that I ignore my child asking for water for instance until they could peak it out loud.

Horribly cruel, and I know my children ( one was 3 and a half before their first word) would speak if they could, but they simply were physically unable to).
Happy to say my children are now easy eloquent talkers, my son ( who was 36 months before first word) is president of the debating society at secondary school and has a particular gift for the spoken word.

You may like to Google "Einstein Syndrome" for more ideas on this. Often particulary gifted children are late talkers.

I do feel like it's a bit of a willfull thing

You need to get over this bit. It's a bit like eating. You can provide the child with the language to learn from and offer him lots of opportunities to speak but, when the chips are down, it is not your job to decide when he should speak.

There are many, many children who speak very late and often, when they do eventually start, they progress amazingly quickly and soon catch up with their peers. Your DS may very well be one of these.

However, if a child needs intervention, the earlier they receive it, the better their outcome is likely to be. Just in case he is one of the tiny minority who do need some support, it may be a good idea to ask for a referral for a hearing test and a speech and language assessment.

Is he babbling? does he say da da da for instance?
have you had his hearing checked?

Had to checkto make surei hadn't written the OP!

Until last week, my dd (18m and a bit) understood heaps but said nothing. In the past week, we have mastered daddy, mummy, cat (and cats name), nana, more, yes, horse, plus lots of animal sounds. Literally overnight. I was all and and a bit weepy but hey ho

We have done lots of looking at and talking about books, and the pictures in them. No idea if that has helped or not, but made me feel like I was doing something. It explains why horse is in that list of words though

He'll get there