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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

language question, how to teach a toddler to say "me" instead of "you"?

33 replies

ikeaismylocal · 27/05/2014 08:14

Ds is 17 months old, he can say mine but not me.

He says "carry you" or "help you" instead of carry me and help me, he is copying me as I say "do you want me to carry/help you?"

Do I need to do anything to encourage him to start saying carry/help me or will it just come naturally?

He's bilingual but me/mig (me in Swedish) is grammatically the same.

OP posts:

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curiousuze · 27/05/2014 08:17

God knows, my 17 month old doesn't even talk yet! I'm just in awe that your ds is using two word sentences

TweeAintMee · 27/05/2014 08:17

Get some dolls/figures/bears and do role play with him.

AnaisB · 27/05/2014 08:18

It's just a normal part of language aquisition. He'll learn without any special measures.

Lottapianos · 27/05/2014 08:21

Perfectly normal. He'll get there. Don't ask him to copy any words after you, just use the right words at the right time and he will get it when he's older

adagio · 27/05/2014 08:21

Oh shit are they meant to talk at 17m then?

Mine says mamma in a variety of tones as the generic 'I want/need something' often while pointing with enthusiasm, and dadaaaaaa in a very excitable voice when she sees DH (who is clearly associated with fun and games, unlike me, who has the provider role in her life).

Lottapianos · 27/05/2014 08:23

Adagio, have you got a local Children's Centre? If you do, pop along and ask if they have a session with a speech and language therapist (I'm one). They can point you in the right direction

curiousuze · 27/05/2014 08:29

adagio mine does the mamaaa thing too (actually more like 'aye-meeeeee'). He has about 8 words he says regularly. lotta is this really something to consult a therapist about?? I'm quite surprised

DrankSangriaInThePark · 27/05/2014 08:31

OP- your son says "you" because it's what he hears people around him saying. His own cognitive mechanisms will kick in soon enough. He's worked out that "you" is something to do with "people" and so is using it irrespective of which "people" he wants to identify.

He'll work it out in his own good time.

Original poster

ikeaismylocal · 27/05/2014 08:34

Thanks for the doll tip, I'll give that a go.

I'm not sure it's really a sentence as he's really only copying what I say to him, I think he thinks carry-you and help-you are the entire word. He also says I love you i-lurr-lu but he can't use the words separately and say I love pappa or I love bananas.

The words he uses with other words and he actually has an understanding that both words mean seperate things are min ( my/mine) min mummy, min pappa, min-vagn ( pushchair) and mera ( more) mera apple, mera flingor (cereal)

Maybe I will start asking him "do you want a carry/help" so he realises that carry and help are the words not carry/help-you.

OP posts:

addictedtosugar · 27/05/2014 08:35

adagio: I think there is a guidance out there for words at 24 months. DS1 failed it with about 6 words (and baaaa for sheep counts, as would 'uce for a drink, if used consistantly).
At 17 months, I'd say yours was about normal, and the OP was advanced.

ikea: just keep talking to him using the propper pronouns, and he'll get it. My 2 have never been confused by the different gramatical structure of the two languages. Dont think the bilingual has anything to do with this - its very common.

ShoeWhore · 27/05/2014 08:39

Mine all did this too - first they used you to refer to themselves, then used me to refer to the other person. It all sorted itself out over time. One tip I did read was to use their name where you can but I think most children exposed to normal speech patterns just pick it up.

BertieBotts · 27/05/2014 08:40

It's very common and he will work it out.

To the people with non talking 17 month olds don't worry! They tend to muddle along with a couple of sounds and gestures, increasing to round 10 words and then suddenly their vocabulary explodes. If they don't have any words by 2 years old then you could worry butthere is a huge spectrum of normal.

Notso · 27/05/2014 08:41

DC4 is 2.1 and last month I was beginning to think he only says maaaamaaa, no and Yika (drink) then all of a sudden his speech has come on in leaps and bounds.
He is now stringing three words together.

DD PFB was talking at 10 months by one she could sing the whole of the Hokey Cokey.
DS1 only said "uh" until 2.
DS2 was chatting in full sentences at 18 months.

They are all different, just model speech and keep talking,singing, reading etc and it will come. Any concerns ask you HV or GP.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 27/05/2014 08:42

We had the same thing. Took a couple of months but she worked it out herself, it's just normal language development. Any attempts we made to help just got all of us more confused.

BertieBotts · 27/05/2014 08:42

There's a great group on Facebook of you're interested called "raising multilingual children". It's not a mumsnet one but v good, informative, supportive.

BertieBotts · 27/05/2014 08:43

They definitely pick up phrases as whole th

BertieBotts · 27/05/2014 08:50

Gah! I've never had that happen before!

they will pick up phrases in addition to single words, quite similarly to how adults pick up foreign language by exposure, but understanding that this phrase is several words which can be used in other ways is later, more sophisticated understanding. Apparently my first "word" was "in the bin!" And little children commonly learn things like "see you later" and your example "iylufyoo"

You're right it doesn't count as a sentence if they learn it in this way. But the "more xxx" does count as putting 2 words together.

curiousuze · 27/05/2014 08:55

ikea I love the Swedish word for 'pushchair', much easier for little ones to say!

bertie that's so funny, were you obsessed with the bin or something?

Original poster

ikeaismylocal · 27/05/2014 09:00

Thanks for the info about the group Bertie :)

Here they ask if they can say 10 words at their 18 month check, words include things they consistently say that are made up wards ( ds says vapi for water) also animal sounds and phrases south as ow or uh-oh. They don't actually do anything if the child doesn't have10 words, my ds couldn't clap at his 10 month check (which was one of the milestones they check for) they just said oh well, we'll see if he's doing it at his next check up.

OP posts:

TweeAintMee · 27/05/2014 09:52

ikea - does your child point at things out of reach?

BertieBotts · 27/05/2014 09:55

No, they just used me as very slow child labour :o one piece of rubbish at a time! Maybe they were trying to instil a sense of tidiness it didn't work

Misspilly88 · 27/05/2014 09:58

We have a bilingual (Swedish/English) boy of 3 at my workplace who still says 'my do it' instead of 'can I do it'. Nothing to worry about, don't stress!

Original poster

ikeaismylocal · 27/05/2014 10:10

Yes he does twee, he also learnt to clap soon after 10 months ( we realised we didn't clap very much ) a couple of days of intensive "if your happy and you know it clap your hands" and he got the idea about clapping!

What a lovely story Bertie :) I can imagine throwing things away kept you entertained busy for quite a long time!

OP posts:

TweeAintMee · 27/05/2014 10:27

ikea - you can use his ability to point to do role play then.

TweeAintMee · 27/05/2014 10:29

Maybe you could take it in turns to clap. Practise taking turns: "You clap" "I clap"

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