My 9yo DS's birthday is coming up and he just doesn't want anything or want a fuss. I think I'm OK with this, I just want to know if anyone else has had similar, and if you think it's OK, and not something to worry about.
He has always been quirky, is dyslexic and very dreamy, and doesn't really know or care when his birthday is. As he's got older he's become increasingly reflective and philosophical and takes a dim view of the materialism of the world and things like advertising. (I know that sounds pretentious, it's true though! - and doesn't come from us.)
He does have passions like walking and outdoorsy stuff, he also loves computing, but we have everything he needs on that score. He hates books (despite much encouragement), he doesn't watch films. He really has a life of the mind and like long walks so that he can think or talk about his interests.
I have chatted with him about how people like to give presents on birthdays and sometimes it's as much about the giver feeling that they want to, as about what the birthday person wants. He agrees and understands that Granny etc will want to send something.
He will enjoy a cake and something like a nice lunch out, but doesn't want a party.
DP has a nerdy little toy for him which he might like. Would you give a token present? Just a card? Is it better to respect him wanting nothing at all or might that be a bit deflating on the day? He is often very sure about things but can then change his mind later.