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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How long should you actively play/entertain your baby?

14 replies

justlearning2014 · 19/05/2014 20:49

My DS is 15 weeks old and I'm not sure how long to spend actively playing/entertaining him. He will happily play on his own, but I feel bad and end up playing with him. Sometimes, I can't get anything else done as I could be playing/reading/singing to him all day. I also don't watch tv at all when the baby is awake, as I'd read that can impair development. I think I'm beginning to become obsessed with DS development and I'm finding every day a chore. I've started to worry that I might be playing/entertaining him too much and that it might impair his ability to entertain himself. I feel really guilty if he is awake and I'm not entertaining him. I wondered if anyone has any ideas how many hours a day you should actively entertain a baby and if it's okay for a baby play on his own?

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Hobby2014 · 19/05/2014 20:50

Sorry, I have no advice as my little one isn't here yet but marking my place as I'd like to know this too!

Passmethecrisps · 19/05/2014 20:50

At that stage anything you do is entertainment. Remember that they are seeing absolutely everything for the very first time so it is all learning.

I used to move DD from room to room with me and she watched while I did jobs. I would sing or blather to her while I was doing it and she never seemed bothered

hotcrosshunny · 19/05/2014 21:40

Well why on earth are you worrying about z nearlg four month old entertaining themselves or not?

Go about your say and take baby with you. This will keep your baby entertained. The world isn't full of toys etc! Take the baby out.

Bluecarrot · 19/05/2014 21:52

Dd just turned 4 months. I leave her to play with occasional comments, but watch her for signs of boredom. Then I'll engage with her a while before getting her interested in something else. She happily sits in highchair/swing watching me fold laundry and do dishes and I yak away.

I think its important for their development that they play independently at least some of the time.

MillyMollyMama · 19/05/2014 22:11

Mine played independently as babies and loved the toys hanging from the baby gym (I think it was called). This occupied DD1 for a couple of hours a day! I read to mine, we sang all the time and I talked to them about everything we did. We went out quite a lot for walks and visiting friends. You do need a baby to be entertaining themselves for some of the time or you will never have any time to do anything! If a baby needs to be entertained all the time the baby is likely to continue with this need when older so may be demanding ! I would slack off a bit and see what toys he likes to play with and how he entertains himself. You may well be surprised and life, at this stage, does not have to be competitive regarding early learning. Just chill out a bit.

Original poster

justlearning2014 · 19/05/2014 22:20

Think I'll give the chilling out a go. Starting to think that worrying about everything might just be part of the new mum process. All this new responsibility is a bit daunting! DH thinks that DS would be fine entertaining himself a bit more too.

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Original poster

justlearning2014 · 19/05/2014 22:21

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cravingcake · 19/05/2014 22:23

Really try not to stress about it. DD is now 17 weeks and she has an older brother who is 2.5yo and very demanding on me and unfortunately his needs often come first so she is left to entertain herself while i sort out something with DS.

voodoochimp · 19/05/2014 22:39

I play with my 18 week old for about an hour a day.

If I take out all the time he's asleep or feeding or having his nappy changed or we're out and about and he's in the pram then there's not many hours left in the day!

He'll happily watch life going on around him, he also entertains himself in his baby gym for a while.

MrsRV · 20/05/2014 10:24

could have written this post myself with DD1 now 2.2. I cuddled all day as a baby & tiptoed around & played & entertained all the time. would wait for baby to sleep to get anything done! DD is now quite demanding in terms of wanting entertaining & will rarely sit & play on her own without getting bored! I still feel guilty. I think motherhood brings guilt about everything

now have a 3 wo DD who is left alone constantly but seems content! needs must. Worry is lots less second time round & new motto, if she's not crying she's ok

continue to tiptoe around DD1 when she's napping etc... not with new 1 though. have learnt from my mistakes.

p.s. get a jumperoo!!!!!!!

peppajay · 27/05/2014 21:06

I made a fatal mistake with my firstborn I played with her all the time at home and was was always taking her to gym groups and music groups, the library park and toddler groups and when we were home I played with her nearly all the time. Never introduced tv till she was about 5. Fast forward 7 years and I have a child who has no idea how to entertain herself she constantly needs adult stimulation. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing especially as all the books say housework can wait and playing with your child is the most important thing and TV is a sin. I left my son to his own devices a lot more and we were not out at every group going and I may get shot down for this but I introduced him to the TV at about a year and he will now happily watch a few bits on cbeebies my DD still to this day has never ever watched a whole TV program!!! He can play with his cars or do colouring perfectly independently and I find my DD so hard to parent and I admit it was my fault of doing too much with her!!! You need to find a balance between the two. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing with my DD and it felt horrible not giving my son the same attention as her but it has made him much easier and far more placid and I felt so guilty if I left on his playmat for 10 mins!!!! HTH x

CPtart · 27/05/2014 21:22

Another here who was constantly entertaining baby. What a mistake. Never learnt to play by himself and even now aged 11 seems to have a very short attention span and limited capacity to entertain himself. I can guarantee the first words he'll say tomorrow are "what are we doing today?" Learnt my lesson with Ds2 with whom I was far more laid back and will quite happily fend for himself for a while.
I would highly recommend leaving baby to play whilst you potter about or even read a book or watch TV. It will pay dividends in the long run. Motherhood is hard enough, make it easy for yourself.

Parietal · 27/05/2014 21:59

at 4mo, a baby will spend 40% of her waking time looking at her own hands (if she gets the chance). This is important because she is learning how her hands move and how to control them. She can do this all by herself, she doesn't need to be entertained. so just get on with your life, potter about and let her amuse herself & see you doing stuff.

REKH · 17/01/2018 17:50

I know this is quite an old thread but I just wanted to say how much this has helped me. Been struggling with this issue and anxiety been really bad with it,instantly made me feel much better.

So thank you ladies!

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