DS7. Bored!

[HermioneSnape]

DS7, year 2.

He never sits still! The favourite word : bored!!

As soon as he sees me in the playground at home time. He starts. Whining, whinging, shouting at me for not bringing him sweets. Stamps his feet walks off ignoring me when I try to speak to me. Etc. etc.

We get home and then it's an hour and a half of him crying and moaning that he's starving until dinner time. Then as soon as it's on the table. He's not hungry anymore. After dinner he then Starts climbing on the furniture, doing headstands up the wall. Running and jumping over the foot stool. Pretending to punch one of us in the face.

We have every know computer console on the market. He won't play them if he switches it on he's had enough after 5 minutes. He has most of toys r us in his bedroom. Doesn't play with toys it's ..... You've guessed it. Boring!!

We did have a trampoline but it got old so we took it down. Not that he ever played on it. But he has a scooter and a bike. Footballs etc in the garden. Be doesn't want to play with any of those either.

So finally to my question.

What does your 7 do after school to entertain themselves? Or do you still entertain them?

He's been demanding from day one and has been assessed by the hospital, but they said he was just "demanding and highly intelligent". And hopefully things would improve as he got older. I'm praying for the day!

He doesn't sleep well. We usually have to shout at him to get him to sleep and that's at about 10/10.30pm. He back up at 6am. Every morning. His diet is terrible but again. Dietician has said as long as he eats a little form each food group there little they can do.

Any helpful advice gratefully received.

My Ds is only 4 so please feel free to tell me that I'm talking out of my backside but, do you take him a snack for after school, just not what he wants, or nothing at all? I'd take him a snack, smoothie, rice cakes, fruit he'll eat etc. so it's a bit of something healthy and he can't moan that he's hungry until tea.

does he do any activities after school - swimming, chess club etc? It sounds like he has a lot of energy after tea and it may help to get that channelled in some way. Does he just have a bike in the garden, or has anyone offered to take him to a bmx track or canal towpath so he can ride it somewhere interesting? do you have a bike so you could go with him.

Whatever anyone else says about their 7 year old, I think that this one still needs some adult input, so he can get access to more structured activity, then that may help his eating and sleeping as well.

Thanks for replying Peter

Yes I've taken him other snacks down to school, fruit, cheese bites, a drink, he refuses them and on 2 occasions has knocked them out of my hand at the same time as screaming at me that he "didn't want those"

I am mortified and said on the last occasion he knocked it out of my hand that I would not be bringing anything else down for him as he was so ungrateful and rude.

I try to give him a snack when we get home, but by that time he's being stubborn and refusing everything I offer him.

He does martial arts once a week, swimming lessons another night, and 2 after school clubs on a Tuesday and Wednesday.

His bike we have a strip of grass out the front that we let him use, I stand out with a cup of tea and watch him go up and down, mess about dig in the dirt, etc, I don't think once I have finished my tea before hes dragging his bike back to the house saying its boring and hes had enough and wants to go in!

He drives me bonkers, as you can tell.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds as though he has too much stuff. We had and sometimes still have, similar with dsd (6) - she had too much choice. After realising this, we culled a load of her stuff, anyhing that hadn't been played with recently went. Room was tidied and rearranged so she was less aware of the losses (because they always know, don't they!?).

If he is, as you say, v bright, then does he need somethig to challenge him? Would he be interested in puzzles, colouring, making stuff (eg. balsa wood cars or planes) - that you could do together with a simple snack to hand on return from school? Colouring is now a firm fave here.

Would he respond to reward charts? Eg. if he got to bed nicely he gets a sticker, 5 stickers = an hr to do something of his choice with mum or dad?

Best of luck, op.

He sounds tired and overstimulated. Do you have a bedtime routine designed to relax him? Bath, pajamas, warm milky drink / chamomile tea, reading, no screens for at least an hour before bedtime. You could also try melatonin, where I live you can buy it over the counter but I believe in the UK you need a script.

Has he always been this way or is it a recent thing?

Does he eat enough during the day at school? (I know that battle, my dd also goes through phases of eating nothing.) Could you interest him in packing his own lunchbox?

How is his behaviour at school?

I agree with BigPigLittlePig, he has too much stuff. Pack a lot of it away so that what is there is more visible and easily accessible.

Will he play with the balls if you play with him? Would he jump on the trampoline if you jumped with him? I'm not saying that you should be entertaining him every minute but I find that dd is much more amenable to doing things by herself if we've spent some time with her first, or we give her a specific time when we will do something with her.

Can you organise playdates over weekends so that he can expend some of that energy on friends rather than on you?

Agree with a lot of advice given on here already. Have you spoken to the school? How is his behaviour there?

One word: Minecraft. EVERY 7 year old I meet is obsessed with it. Has he tried that?

Forgot to add, if mine say they are bored I offer them a baby wipe and ask them to clean the skirting boards, smile sweetly and then say or you could find yourself something to do. Think they've only ever said it once each

Does he have many friends?

What do you do together?

How come he ended up seeing a dietician? If you suspect it could be his diet, what sort of things does he eat and drink?

Thanks everyone.

I know he has too many things but its an accumulation over years of trying to find something that he likes. I was last night looking at buying a climbing frame!

He used to like books, he has over a 100 books, in addition to this he has children's wordsearch books, colouring books, crossword books Sudoku books, where's wally type books, etc etc.

He comes across as being spoilt but as I said we are just trying to find things that will occupy him, interest him.

I started doing a vegetable garden and he had his own section, he's now lost interest in that.

He does play minecraft, but again looses interest and starts being silly and knocking down his brother things after a while so he gets taken off it.

His behavior at school is good, he is still fidgety, rocking on his chair, saying he is bored, he keeps shouting out the answers instead of putting up his hands, again he gets into trouble for this but he says he can't stand it when people get it wrong, and it frustrates him.

His bed time routine is ok, he just doesn't need a lot of sleep, again he was referred to the hospital as he didn't sleep through until he started nursery, but he does now from about 10/10.30 until 5.30/6am.

I have tried to have friends over the last time being Friday just gone, its a disaster, he's ok for about an hour, then he keeps asking when they are going home, on Friday my DH sat with DS friend and played sky landers with him until it was the time for him to go home, as DS cried at the top of the stairs saying it was boring and he wanted his friend to go home.

His diet has always not been great, so we were refereed by the health visitor when he was little and we are now under the school nurse as he is quite skinny, but they aren't overly alarmed its just to keep an eye on him and his eating.

Thanks for all your suggestions, I have tried most of them, playing with him for a bit and then withdrawing so he can play on his own, but it doesn't work, he does help me clean from time to time, he loves baking, but there's only so many cookies and cup cakes you can bake in one week.

Hermione have you ever asked for an assessment on him? It seems that different bodies are involved with some aspect of his care but nobody is looking at as a whole. Could you speak to the person responsible for Senco at his school?

Oh and please don't buy him anything else. If things keep being given to him he will attach no value to his possessions. Buying him stuff hasn't worked so far has it?

Agree with the others, you need to pack away a lot of his stuff no buy more. Money isn't go to solve this one. Could you spend some time today putting some of his things in the loft?

What does your DH say? Have you talked to him about how you are feeling and your concerns for DS? Could you both say that you've decided not to have any electronics for a week? It could be that if he has every console he is finding it difficult to switch off. One of DS classmates is allowed unlimited gaming time and his behaviour is shocking and his social skills aren't much better. Last week he had all of his electronics taken off him and everyone kept commenting on how well behaved he was.

If you do have an electronics free week, ask him what he wants to do instead. Both boys could maybe choose one after school activity. Mine like things like baking, helping with the cooking, going to the park, playing board games etc.

Try to keep things positive though