10yo self harming :-(

[bidibidi]

Has anyone had to deal with this & can you share anything positive? It's new behaviour for DS and I'm not half sure it isn't more attention seeking than emotional release. I am seeking urgent appointments & referrals. DS has never been able to handle being told off or not being allowed to do what he wants, so resorts to extreme responses, of which self-harming is the latest development.

Any positive words from experience?

In what way is he self-harming?

I would suggest you look at coping mechanisms for stress and look at supporting his self-esteem too. Obviously that's a bit more long term than immediate help. On Amazon Local or possibly Groupon is a course for adolescent psychology online.

In the short term take him to the GP and to the school and make them aware. Ask for referrals to CAMHS.

It might help if we knew your son's age and the degree of arm he's inflicting on himself.

I think the son's age is in the title of the thread.

In that case, in might help if I didn't read Mumsnet until I've fully woken up.

Sorry sophie, I hope that didn't come across as rude. X

(lol at the half-awake)

Some of this is identifiable so I don't want to be specific (not ready to share in real life). He had an injury (not deliberate) and he keeps interfering with the healing when he's upset about something else. I got a referral to CAMHS 15 months ago but results were inadequate; I got a big run-around because school won't confirm to GP/CAMHS how difficult DS behaviour is (he has had episodes of being a nightmare at school). We have appointment with GP on 4 June (soonest we could get it) to see if our reports of newly emerged self-harming behaviour changes anything; otherwise we have to go private to get any treatment and especially urgent treatment (I'm budgeting £2000 minimum for that).

amazon local & group on mostly seem to be about vouchers for coffee shops, do they offer value for money courses? I really don't feel up to sitting thru a pay-for academic course of dubious benefit.

I'd be interested in knowing more about the online adolescent psychology course, bear. Got a link? Have you done the course, what was good about it?

OP, my DD has sh since Y7. Not sure how relevant that is, but feel free to pm me if you think I might be able to help.

Another question:

assuming we have to go private, what are we going private for?

EdPsychologist assessment? Counselling? Some other type of assessment or therapy?

What treatment or assessment do we look for first?

Thx.

Very sorry for your situation. Any chances your child can be homeschooled? Some kids just can't thrive in certain environments and once their stressors disappear they change dramatically.

Do you have a Relate counselling centre in your area?

www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-children-and-young-people/children-and-young-peoples-counselling

I'm not 100% certain how it works but it may be worth giving them a call. The costs seem to be miniscule as well (or they are for our local centre).

Thx for replies.

I think Relate costs £50+/hour unless you're skint? I'll double check. I'm not expecting to pay any less (and then there's parking & transport, at least another £15/session). At least we don't need to pay a babysitter for other DC, as well. I don't want them to disect every other problem in the family. Maybe we are all truly deeply messed up but rest of us seem to cope ok with how things are.

I'd rather stick pins in eyeballs than HE any of DC & especially DS; I admire people who do it well for their DC.

I think we have to book some taster counselling sessions for DS and they can give us opinions after they've met him how best to proceed (what other assessments he might need); best way to tell who we want him to see in long run, too.

Would it also be worth contacting the health visitors/ senco as well as an ed psych. In the area I live in there is a group of special helpers called Taf Who work with a whole family to give help.

There could be so many reasons for his behaviour it's hard to give advice. It may be that some parenting support would be just as helpful as helping him to develop strategies to cope with life.