14mo has given up eating

[RubyrooUK]

DS2 is 14mo. Unlike DS1, who was feeding himself well with a spoon by 9mo, DS2 did more of a BLW style thing and is still relatively incompetent with cutlery but good at eating with his fingers.

Which would be fine if he was eating anything at all. Since he had his MMR a month ago, he was gone off solids totally and only wants to breastfeed. This is particularly when we are not home, whether we are out locally, at friends' or on holiday.

I normally work full time and he has to eat a little at nursery but he has been consuming little even there. At home, he will eat a little too but very much less than a month ago.

I'm still breastfeeding so he isn't about to get dehydrated but today (we are on holiday) he ate:

One spoonful of yoghurt
One tiny bite of banana
One blueberry
Water

He was offered as well:

Bowl of porridge
Bowl of Cheerios
Yoghurt
Toast
Raisins
Sandwich
Apple
Banana
Pineapple
Biscuit
Homemade spaghetti and tomato/veg sauce
Toast
Strawberries

Everything was refused. He has several (million) large breastfeeds so he isn't in danger of not having enough calories, just avoiding food. He doesn't seem to have lost weight really so I'm not worried about that - just his lack of nutrition and my breasts falling off from overuse!

I'm at a loss. We never make it an issue. DS1 can be a fussy three year old about food sometimes but DS2 is just completely uninterested.

Could it be that he's been feeling crap since the MMR? He doesn't seem ill in himself so struggling to find a reason for this.

Anyone? Before I waste away? (Not really obviously but I am struggling to breastfeed a 14mo as if he was newborn.)

Has he been ill? Is it possible he has reflux? If he was on a bottle, I think the advice would be to reduce milk to see of he will go for food when he is really hungry.

I'm not a professional, but from watching my dnephew (food refuser) I think you can either go with it, or reduce milk and offer food three times a day with everyone else and leave him to it.

Assuming its a behavioural thing with no underlying medical cause, as I understand it, the worst you can do is make it an issue. No emotion at all, ignore any reaction, praise anything eaten, and move on. Make it a non issue.

Sorry, didn't read your post as well as I might have, and you're already doing the non issue thing. Personally, I would limit bf, because I wouldn't be happy feeding that much (I am currently and have done extending bf), but I get it's hard to refuse. I tend to distract with cows milk and biscuits if I don't want to feed...

And my dc are always awkward sods on holidays. I just nearly cancelled ours!

Have fun though!

Pretty sure he doesn't have reflux. He's actually a very sunny natured baby in general, never seems in discomfort after eating and until a month ago could best be described as a total pig when it came to food.

I would reduce the breastfeeds (yes please!) but I can't find anything that he will eat to distract him from ripping at my clothes and shouting "mummy mummy, more more" and then if I don't feed him, he gets insanely upset about not being allowed to breastfeed. Weeping and screaming which is not actually very like him as he's very relaxed and rarely cries.

Maybe he's just going through a big developmental stage - he's a very good walker and loves the freedom of exploring on his feet and his words are really improving. Maybe all the breastfeeding is just about his growing independence and he's too distracted to eat?

Ahhhhhh children.

Cross post there! Yes I do need to try and limit those breastfeeds. The only food he will always eat is sadly chocolate (as a second child he has alas already tried chocolate). My options are not good....a toddler with no teeth or feeding my massive 14mo newborn everywhere!!!!

Can I say reassuringly- it's just a phase?!

Thanks. I will repeat that while drinking gin.

My DS is 14mo as well so you have my sympathies as I wouldn't want to be breastfeeding him all the time either! I'm just looking at the list of foods you've tried - have you tried a normal jar of babyfood? I'm not suggesting it will be a magic fix but I know sometimes my DS will turn his nose up at anything homemade and just want something processed.

In terms of the milk, will he accept cows milk out of a bottle/sippy cup? I know it doesn't solve the non-eating issue but it might give your poor overworked boobs a rest!

How are teeth coming.?
I know mine seemed to bf more during molars for comfort (12-14m)

Thanks for the replies! Not sure about teeth - he normally dribbles lots when teething but isn't now. He does have a bit of a cold but this is only in the last few days and he has refused food for the last month.

He won't eat baby jars/pouches. I used to take them out for DS1 when I was going out for lunch/dinner and he was weaning but DS2 has always refused them. He was - until a month ago - perfectly happy eating almost any old food we were having.

Today he has refused breakfast totally minus one spoon of yoghurt, refused toast, eaten one bite of my banana and spat it out, then had about four grains of rice with a cheese sauce (something he loves and can put away an enormous portion).

He has had six breastfeeds and begged for a seventh. He comes to me and says my name weeping and asking to come up, then lies down and starts fiddling with my bra strap and saying "yes yes yes". I have dispatched DH who was mid-lunch with the pushchair to see if we can get him to sleep for a bit and improve his mood then try with food again before we go out today.

Honestly, you'd think you would have more of a clue with baby number two. I think it's because mainly he has been such a lovely, sunny low maintenance baby after highly clingy, super emotional DS1 that it has taken me by surprise!

Thanks for all the replies again.

Ps. He does like water, which is great. Not so impressed by cows milk. We offer it all the time but he doesn't see it as a breastfeeding substitute yet.

I should point out at this point that he has never taken a bottle either. He started nursery at 6mo and just had water or expressed milk in a cup as he wouldn't touch a bottle. Nursery tried for three months with bottles of expressed milk before giving up. So he is stubborn....perhaps I should have seen this coming.

No progress. Today he won't even try a yoghurt (goes crazy and weeps when offered). The only thing he has eaten all day is a chocolate button and he spat most of it out.

He's been running around chasing DS1 and giggling so can't be that unwell with his cold. But now he is on another massive breastfeed. I feel that seeing as he won't consume anything else and the weather is hot, I have to offer him feeds. (Well, not offer frankly but not refuse when he lies in front of me undressing me and weeping.)

It's just a phase, it's just a phase, it's just a phase.....