How do I discourage the throwing of EVERYTHING?

[winnie]

My toddler (16 months) is the absolute antithesis of his older sister. (I am sure he has been brought to me to teach me something about tolerance!) His sister never had tantrums but he has about sixty a day (or so it seems) and whilst I can just about cope with the head banging and the fist stomping I can't cope with his throwing of everything. To be fair this is not necessarilt tantrum related, he just throws everything: food; books; toys; dustpan & brush; chairs... you name it he throws it. Ask him to pass you something & he will throw it. He is a chunky toddler and believe me all of his force goes into each and every throw. I have already suffered ruptured blood vessels in an eye because of this and his sister feels battered. It is not malicious but I do have to stop it before he really injures someone. Any advice?

winnie - my 22 mth old is exactly the same! I posted a while ago on a throwing food thread, and he's still doing it despite all my best efforts. I think he does it to compete for attention with other ds and dd. Am hoping it's just a phase and will soon pass, as I've tried everything!

Winnie, I sympathise, my ds STILL throws things around all the time and it drives me potty! (he's 2.5) He has always been a hurler and I've interpreted it that he is bored with either the thing he's hurled or I'm not paying him the attention that he wants. Now I just calmly say ' oh you must be bored with that if your throwing it around. Lets put it away and find something more interesting to play with'. Sort of works but I always take the object away and put it out of reach. I also explain endlessly to him that things are delicate and fragile and after weeks of telling him that one day he'll break something, he finally did. Post office lorry door came off and he was mortified. I didn't fix it for ages as I wanted him to realise that you can't fix everything and that it was a consequence of his actions. Still, hasn't stopped him though! Good Luck with it, I know how tiring it can be.

hi winnie
Give him a ball! Better still, lots of balls! Tell him balls are for throwing - if he goes to throw anything else, eg a book, say no this is a book, you don't throw a book, it's for reading. If he throws something, take it away (and don't give it back!). Explain why he shouldn't throw it, eg it could break, it could hurt someone. Then give him something he can safely throw instead, eg a beanbag or soft ball. This way you satisfy his need to practice this marvellous new skill, but still lay the ground rules of what he can and cannot throw!

Older children usually throw out of frustration or anger (my ds is 3 and still like to hurl things when he is angry), but at 16 months he is just doing it cos it's fun - and because he's probably pretty good at it! So let him channel his talent where it belongs - get him a heap of different balls to try (some for outside, small soft ones for inside!) Good luck, HTH!

My ds throws things but I make him pick them up. Its certainly made a big improvement on the amount he throws but there is still the occasional thing. He's learnt the hard way the last couple of nights because he's been made to pick a spoon up he had thrown before he could get what he wanted. When he was made to do without he seemed to get the message. At nursery one of the good things they say about him is how helpful he is at picking stuff up!

Thanks everyone for responding! We are definartely trying the idea with balls and beanbags Mollipops. Feel slightly discouraged as you all seem to have had limited success with this but I am hoping that as it doesn't seem to be a boredom related issue but simply related to his inability to see the consequences of his actions and it stands to reason that as he runs everywhere rather than walk, he will throw things rather than pass them... he may just grow out of it. (Ever the optimist.) The good thing is when he hurts someone now, he realises he did it an dpatts them and looks glum and sorry...a step in the right direction perhaps!!!!

sorry can't type today!