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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Bike riding

24 replies

Dannie · 22/03/2004 18:15

How do I motivate ds1 to ride a bike? He's nearly six. I got him and DD bikes after Christmas as I'm desperate to get riding myself, but he won't go out and practise. DH won't help, he believes physical activity should stay on television where it belongs. We have a nice long stretch of straight, level pavement to practise on. I really want it to be fun (not just for me!) but I also view it as a skill everyone needs to acquire, like tying shoelaces or using a knife and fork. (And we can't go to Center Parcs again til he can )

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tealady · 22/03/2004 18:21

Dannie - do you mean without stabilisers? If so is he already riding happily without stablisiers?

tealady · 22/03/2004 18:22

Sorry meant WITH stablisers.

mummytojames · 22/03/2004 18:37

thats the problem dannie you cant get him to do anything he dont want to do have you tryed finding out why he dont want to ride a bike are there other children learning to ride in your street aswell so hedont feel the odd one out

GillW · 22/03/2004 19:17

Is your ds the type to want to join in with what other children are doing? If so I'd say find somewhere where there are other children around with bikes, so that he will want to be the same. Not sure how I'd tackle it if the joining in aspect doesn't appeal, unless a promised reward (like that trip to Center Parcs perhaps?) would have any effect. Perhaps letting him "personalise" his bike would make it seem a bit more "his" and make him want to show it off to his friends?

I have the opposite problem, btw - how to persuad my 2 and a half year old ds (who surprised us by climbing onto a bike belonging to one of our neighbours' children and pedalling it away without us ever having to encourage him to do it or even teach him how, at 20 months) that riding his bike down flights of steps isn't actually a good idea

Original poster

Dannie · 22/03/2004 20:09

He's definitely still with stabilisers. I sort of feel if he doesn't learn in the next year or 2, he'll look a bit daft and then he really won't want to.
He's not a great joiner-in but maybe seeing more kids on bikes would help, that's a good idea.

OP posts:

tealady · 22/03/2004 20:25

My ds(6) is also not keen - he still has stabilisers and is very reluctant - he has taken to a go-kart much better - he thinks he looks cool! - I keep thinking if he gets better at pedalling then he will find the bike easier - eventually. My dd (5) is almost riding without stabilisers - she just likes riding - so maybe it is just a personal thing - perhaps he takes after your husband!

We keep trying to use centre parcs as a carrot - but I did wonder recently whether if we just went there the competition from seeing others riding would help speed up his progress.

On the other hand it might just mean a lot of stress!

charliecat · 22/03/2004 20:47

My dd whos 6 will happily let us shove her round the car park without stabizers saving her from crashing headfirst into walls but she cant even steer straight! She doesnt want the stabilizers on either though as they are babyish...so she says, but for now trips to the country park are off as theres no way im shoving her a mile round a lake. Im hoping one day it will all fall into place, practice does make perfect and maybe 5-10 mins while the dinners cooking each evening would hekp his progress?
I manage once a fortnight myself though...

Original poster

Dannie · 22/03/2004 23:09

Tealady, the last time we went to Center Parcs ds1 ignored all the speeding tots and opted firmly for the Birley trailer. Darned hard work. I hate to sound like Norman Tebbitt, but as he's now the eldest of three, he's just got to get on his bike. There's loads of lovely safe, level cycling paths round us that I'm just dying to try out. Maybe I should work harder on DD and get a child seat for DS2, who won't be able to protest for some time yet.
Thing is, it's not fun until you can do it, so he can't see the point yet.

OP posts:

aloha · 23/03/2004 09:22

My stepdaughter didn't learn to ride a bike without stabilisers until she was eight - we went to Centerparcs that year, she felt embarassed about still needing stabilisers, and was motivated to learn without which she did quite quickly. I do think the motivation has to come from within - my stepdaughter is a cautious person, which is excellent in so many ways, we never worry about how she might behave. Why can't you go out with him with his stabilisers on atm? Also, I think a trip to Centerparcs might provide an excellent opportunity to learn and also, by letting him see other children riding without stabilisers, he might actually want to be like them. And if he doesn't feel ready yet, it's not the end of the world. As for it being a life skill, though I enjoyed riding a bike as a kid, I feel no need to ride a bike at all - I'd be perfectly happy never to ride a bike again

LIZS · 23/03/2004 09:35

Am finding this quite reassuring. In many ways ds (6) is not the most physical child, as have mentioned on other threads, and can't/won't ride bike without stabilisers amongst other things. With him it seems to be partly lack of confidence, partly poor coordination/motor skills and partly because he finds it hard to judge and anticipate the actions and reactions of others which intimidates him. Many kids his age or younger are whizzing around on fully geared mountain bikes on roads and trails which makes it a bit frustrating, but his time will come.

If you hire bikes somewhere could you get an extension one which hooks onto the back of an adult bike so that he gets the sense of the speed and coordination required without feeling out of control ?

Original poster

Dannie · 23/03/2004 10:24

I'm not pressed to get the stabilisers off, I'd just like him to get riding at all, really. Still, from what you're all saying he'll get there if he wants to.

OP posts:

Mummysurfer · 23/03/2004 10:32

does he have a scooter
we found that once balance & confidence had been achieved with the scooter( grown up one not kiddie one) transition to no stablisers was easier
we did this with dd and are about to start with ds

roisin · 23/03/2004 10:48

Dannie - I felt like you last year. DS was almost 6, and not the most well co-ordinated of children. He could pedal his bike and steer, but was quite reluctant to. At Whit half term we basically told him he had to come with us and practice on his bike for 20 mins every day ... hazy memories, but we probably bribed him - works well for him Anyway, we 'succeeded' within a week he learned to ride his bike confidently without stabilizers ... However, he still remains unconverted ... He would rather walk and talk to us than zoom around on a bike when we are out. And there isn't really anywhere suitable for him to go out on his own with friends yet. So he's hardly been out on his bike at all since then.

So if I were you I'd chill - wait til he wants to do it himself. Like you I kind of view it as a lifeskill - like tying your shoelaces or whatever ... So we've managed to tick the box. But in retrospect I'm not clear what the point was?!

frogs · 23/03/2004 11:06

My dd1 was like this, walked late, couldn't pedal a trike till she was 4, and the first time she rode her new bike (Christmas present, expensive) pedalled straight into a rose bush and refused to get back on again.

She finally learnt to ride without stabilisers the summer she turned seven, and was hooked. What motivated her was hiring a bike on the Tarka trail with a whole bunch of cousins -- she went on a trailer bike (yes, most hire places seem to do them) and decided she'd have more fun paddling her own canoe (to mix metaphors).

Blu · 23/03/2004 11:25

How aware is he that you feel so strongly about it? I would be very careful not to put him under the slightest pressure, or as if it is a task that must be accomplished. Might he feel self-conscious of trying, or afraid of failing? Wanting to join in for fun, either with you, or other kids will be the best motivation.

suedonim · 23/03/2004 12:22

I had never considered bike riding as a life skill, I must confess, although both my ds's learned to ride a bike with no difficulty. Dd1 had a bike but lost interest in it after a couple of years, w/out ever learning to ride minus stabilisers. Dd2 scoots around on a bike with stabilisers but it isn't her fave activity.
My mum has got to the age of 77 without being able to ride a bike and my cycling skills are pretty limited. Tbh, I can't understand why anyone would ride for fun, I find it terrifying. Maybe your ds is the same?

Original poster

Dannie · 23/03/2004 13:00

I'm very aware of the need to play it cool. It must be really glum being five, suddenly out of nowhere you're hit by this tidal wave of new skills to learn -- read/spell/recite times tables/ride a bike/swim etc and it's all new and difficult and all you want to do is build Lego spaceships or whatever.

OP posts:

luckymum · 23/03/2004 15:09

My ds 2 (now 12) can't ride a bike...he says he can but he doesn't do hills, bumps or turns (so OK in Holland but not here ). I definitely think that there's an optimum time to learn and if its missed they won't try because they feel more fear as they get older and also don't want to look daft with stabilisers. Ds1 and dd both rode by about 5 but even when dd (whose the youngest) started, ds2 wasn't bothered and isn't now. I've asked him about it and he doesn't feel he's missing out.

sis · 23/03/2004 20:13

I never learnt to ride a bike as a child but throughout adulthood, I really wanted to be able to do it and made a few attemps including hiring a bike at center parcs etc. Eventually, i found a company that teaches adults and children how to ride and used them - they are mainly based in London and surrounds and it was not cheap but for me, it was worth every penny as I really wanted to learn so if any wants to give them a try, their website is here

flubus · 24/03/2004 13:35

Not sure what to do about motivation, but my advice as far as learning to ride in the first place is to NOT use stabilisers. Not ever. As in never. So here's what you do:

take off the stabilisers
take off the pedals
lower the seat until the child can paddle around using the feet on the ground

This teaches balance and steering and the way the bike really feels to handle. Bike handling with stabilisers is completely different than without.

Eventually your child will want to try it with the pedals back on (still no stabilisers) to get some real speed up!

Here in Switzerland they have these neat little wooden bikes with no pedals or cranks or stabilizers that 3-4 year olds paddle around on. Actually, looks like available in the UK as well:
www.kinetics-online.co.uk/html/like-a-bike.shtml

but that's just to give you the idea -- you can do the exact same thing with a regular bike by removing pedals and stabilisers and lowering the seat

nutcracker · 24/03/2004 13:39

I feel terrible about my 6yr old not being able to ride a bike. Problem is, we live in a flat and ther is no room to store a bike either. My mom thinks i'm mad to worry about it, but i just think it's awful that she probably won't learn until she's about 8.

Twink · 07/04/2004 18:25

Flubus, thanks for the idea about removing pedals.

We tried it on Friday, dd got the hang of balancing quickly and demanded the return of her pedals on Saturday and is now making great progress.

It wouldn't have occured to me if you hadn't mentioned it !

Wallace · 09/04/2004 12:10

Great idea about the pedals

But...how do I get them off? Is it just the pedals I want to take off, or the arms as well?

Thanks

grumpyzebra · 09/04/2004 13:47

But then flubus, short kids like mine would never get to ride on a bike at all until they were 6yo.
Instead I can currently tow DS (age 4) on a trailer bike that doubles as his road bike (flip up stabilisers) when we get to our destination. I know which scenario is funner for him.

Flip