Month old. What's normal?

[Inglori0us]

Ds is approaching 5 weeks old and is feeding between every 90 mins (nights) and 3 hours (day). He spends most of the day asleep and is generally whingey when awake.
I can't remember what my dd was like at this age. He just seems so miserable all the time.

He's very big for his age so I'm guessing that might affect how much he wants to feed? I'm exhausted from the nights as he takes ages to wind and settle abd then it's time to feed again. and as a result I'm not enjoying him at all.
Is this normal?
My dh drives for his job so he needs to sleep so I'm doing the nights. My dd is 2 but thankfully sleeps through the baby's nighttime shouting.

I know it'll get better, but at the moment it's shit.

100% normal!

I agree. This is normal. Baby massage could be worth a try. Especially the massages for the tummy. Good luck and hang in there!

Awww. I do feel for you. My son was like this - a big boy, 9lb 3 oz when he was born, and I had to feed him as frequently as you do. He was just a very hungry boy and I had to wean him at 18 weeks as milk was just not enough by then. It's utterly exhausting, hang in there.

My ds is also approaching 5 weeks and is very similar. I'm enjoying him though because its a country mile better than dd was as a baby (had reflux and did nothing but scream blue murder) and he's my last. He's definitely hungrier than dd was. I find if I just roll with the constant feeding its less stressful, although it does get a bit much sometimes. Usually at 3am.

Hang in there, we'll be getting smiles for our baby boys in a week or so

from not for

Thanks all. Very reassuring.

He's been better at settling this evening. I think he's a bit refluxy (my dd was the same) so I'll see GP.

He was 10lb 8 so he's a giant.

Both ds's were over 9lb, and exactly like your ds, my mum always said its because boys are just needy :). Dd who weighed 10.9 was hungry all the time but never whingey, much preferred to be left alone.

my 5 week old ds2 is exactly like this. his older brother was similar (also a 10lbs 5 giant at birth).

Most babies are fussy in the evenings. It can take me hours to settle ds2. Last night it was three hours of holding, feeding, burping, feeding, jiggling, carrying, tummy rubbing, feeding, wtf is wrong with you etc. It drives me bonkers when I just want sleep more than anything.

my eyelids were drooping but he was wide awake and grumpy.

It will pass. Nearer ten or twelve weeks they stay awake longer in the day more and sleep longer at night (though ds1 never managed more than 3 hours until he was 7 months. He is a brilliant sleeper now though. There is hope).

I think babies don't start producing the melatonin to regulate their days and nights until around 12 weeks. The fussy grumpiness is probably just tiredness and the baby's utter inexperience in dealing with it. They just don't know that sleep will fix it.

If ds1 is anything to go by, the nights will be hard fur a few more months BUT he will become more fun to be around in the day. The smiles and the gurgly laughs will make you so happy. You will still get his fussy moments but not so often.

hang in there. And get dh to take him from you when he can, out for a walk so you can't hear him, preferably. Keep expressed milk in the fridge for him.

1. so you can get longer chunks of sleep than the 90 minutes currently. 4 hours continuous sleep minimum is what you need to stay sane.

1. so dh learns his own techniques to settle a grumpy baby. If he doesn't, he'll not have the confidence to try later and will always hand the fussy infant to you.

forgot to add. Here, dh gets up at 6 and takes the baby from me. I then sleep uninterrupted until 9 when he brings him back to me.

If mornings won't work (don't know what time your dh goes to work) try this in the evenings. Go to bed early (right after dinner) and have dh give him a bottle of expressed milk (or formula if you're ff) and come to bed 3 or 4 hrs later to give you at least 1 big block of sleep.

If he complains of tiredness, give him this look

its only what many other people do in their working day and is a temporary measure.

just saw you have a dd2 so of course you and dh know what to expect already. didn't mean to come across as patronising

Thanks Nutella, I appreciate you taking the time to reply so extensively. (Not patronising at all).
I was going to bed really early but my 2yo doesn't go to sleep til 8 and I need some time not being a mum, to just sit down, eat food, wind down etc.

Dh leaves for work at 6.30 so not much help there. He is very good when he is here though.

Ds was better last night as I let him sleep on me. I think he wants to sleep on his front but I don't want to let him do that in the cot yet. I did snooze and there was far less whinging which is reassuring I guess. Nothing's really wrong, he's just a whingebag and wants to be cuddled. Fair enough!

Cath I think you're right. Boys are just moaners. :)

Mine stepped it up a gear last night waking every hour and today has barely slept and wants to be latched on constantly. Exhausted doesn't cover it. Am praying its a phase. Its a phase... its a phase...its a phase....

Yes it is Domestic. My mantra is This Too Shall Pass.

My mum has just returned dd, and she's totally knackered. How we're going to make it to 7pm bedtime I have no idea.

I'm expressing and having wine tonight.

I'm in the same boat. I hate the newborn stage! DS is 4 weeks & I'm knackered, irritable & finding it hard to stay patient with DD (age 2).

I am also guilty of a short fuse with ds1 when they are both squawking and I'm tired.