I'm new to mumsnet so I hope this is in the right place.
I'm concerned about my daughter's behaviour - she is 3 next week.
Firstly. She is shy - I accept this - but she will not speak to other adults. She often 'mouths' the words as she is too scared to speak. This is not typical of shy children is it? I'm told she does this on and off at nursery but she will speak 50% of the time so I'm not massively concerned unless this decreases. She also turns her head when unfamiliar adults speak to her or simply walks past and ignores them. Whilst I understand she is shy this can come across as a bit rude.
She is very clingy. If I am there she will not acknowledge other adults, just cling to me - even adults she knows very very well.
She seems to struggle in 'overwhelming' situations. Eg a trip to the farm with 20 other kids. She just cried and cried the whole time like she couldn't cope with it.
She can be reluctant to play with other children other than her brother. But she does play with them sometimes. When she does play it is parallel play - this is probably normal for her age though?
She is VERY emotionally fragile. If I say no to her she just dissolves into tears and cries and cries. She can't cope with not getting her own way or being told off. She just gets hysterical - at this point I have no idea whether to comfort her or leave her to cry. If she was in the wrong then she should be told off but I also don't like to leave her in distress. Does comforting her undermine the telling off?
She is quite selfish. She doesn't get turn taking and sharing very well - again, is this normal for her age?
She is generally just exhausting. She cries - A LOT - when she's uncomfortable, cross, upset etc. One time she cried when I asked her to move up on the sofa. It really is exhausting. I've tried to tell her not to cry when she does it. She tries really hard not to but just looks like she's going to explode and eventually cries anyway. I have no idea how to deal with this.
My friend says that I am too soft on her and need to be tougher with her. Is this the answer? I'm not sure the heavy handed approach is the right way with such a sensitive individual but I'm at a loss now and running out of ideas.