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Behaviour/development

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5 yr old dd started having tantrums again.

1 reply

Worried22 · 06/05/2014 19:54

She's almost 5 and a half, an only child and I'm a single mum. She's always been quite good, difficult at times, just normal really. Recently her behaviour and attitude can be hard to deal with, and she's started the crying tantrums when she can't do something or if she doesn't get her own way.

I try to reason with her, but give firm boundaries. If she's playing and I say it's time to go, I let her finish what she's doing, or I give her warnings etc. Reward charts work well but we both get bored with them after a while.

Today's strop was because she couldn't get a toy to do what she wanted in the bath. I tried but of course it was wrong. Lots of crying now so I get her out and calmly do her teeth, dry her and ask her to get her pjs on. I said she'll get some of her pocket money taken away if she carries on, which she did. I can feel myself feeling so worked up, she's shouting that I've got to say sorry, she'll hit me in the morning (?!) and she's going to tell her friend.

In the end I say we can't do her school reading book and we'll have to tell her teacher why. I'm aware I have too many threats and ways of dealing with it, I need to stick to one. I took 50p away for her to earn back. Read her a story, had a kiss and she was fine. I just feel crap and like I'm doing a bad job. I think she's too old for those tantrums and she only has them for me. Feels like she hates me sometimes.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HypodeemicNerdle · 07/05/2014 10:20

I have a lovely, thoughtful and clever 7 yr old DS who still has the occasional screaming tantrum when he doesn't get his own way.

Personally I ignore the tantrum (easier said than done when they are properly kicking off!) and tell him i will happily talk to him when he has calmed down. This isn't easy for me as my natural reaction is to shout back or punish too but withdrawing my attention really does calm my DS quicker and it gives me a moment to calm down too.

Your DD sounds normal to me and you sound like you are doing great.
Parenting is bloody hard at times but I don't believe your daughter hates you. You had a story and a kiss before she went to sleep which is a lovely way to end the day.

Someone told me once that kids behave their worst for us because they trust us to always love them no matter what, I try to hold on to that when mine are being challenging!

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