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Struggling with 5 year old daughter

4 replies

QueenieBaxter · 04/05/2014 22:22

My nearly 6 year old daughter's behaviour has been causing huge distress to us all. She has tantrums every time she doesn't get her own way. She has been like this since she is 2, and I have reached the end of my tether. When she was younger, I told myself this will pass, but it hasn't. Surely it should have by now? She causes a huge fuss, crying, shouting and screaming. She is very loud, which draws stares from people. I get so embarrassed, I could cry (and sometimes do!) We took her and her brother out for the day recently, and she had a tantrum in front of possibly a hundred people. I was mortified. We would really like to take them out tomorrow for the day, but I just can't face another situation like before. It seems so unfair on our son though.
She doesn't just tantrum when she doesn't get her own way. She flares up over the littlest thing. We feel like we are treading on egg shells with her. I am getting really quite depressed over her behaviour now. I have stopped inviting people round and I try and make excuses when we are invited out with people. We are very loving with her, and I have a very good relationship with her. When she is being lovely and happy, I try and talk to her about when she is feeling cross and frustrated but she refuses to talk about it, covers her ears, runs out of the room or starts shouting at me again!
She is angelic at school, has lots of friends and on the whole has a very happy life. I am struggling to understand why she behaves like she does.
Life is becoming quite unhappy for us all, and I need help, but I'm not sure where to turn.

OP posts:
Kissmequick123 · 04/05/2014 23:11

I do think little ones seem to hold everything together at school but it must be hard work, then you get the rough end of the stick because she is exhausted, working through various relationships/learning etc

I would try and be silly and have fun. Your attitude can effect her attitude. If she wants something she can't gave, turn it into something funny, pretend to get her an invisible penguin when she asks for a dog etc.

Kissmequick123 · 04/05/2014 23:20

My middle two are sensitive. I tend to appeal to their good nature. So generally I empathise with them 'oh I know you really wang a dog. Yes they are so cute and friendly but the problem is that we are not allowed to keep dogs in our flat.' Then say WHEN you think she can get her own way 'would you like to walk Rex instead tomorrow? Shall I ring rexes owner tomorrow?

Also per warn her and tell her what's coming next 'ok DD, we are leaving in 5 mins. I've set my timer and when it goes off we can go and help gran bake some cakes'

Start giving her a choice between items. 'Would you like to brush your teeth first or xxxx' means she has a little control.

QueenieBaxter · 04/05/2014 23:22

Thank you, I think you are right. She is very fun loving and loves silliness! I think I have become so weary and on edge ready for her to explode, I find it hard to muster the enthusiasm! I will definitely try harder though!

OP posts:
Kissmequick123 · 05/05/2014 07:13

With mine silliness, being loving and empathising all help. It also helps for her to know what's coming next and when. I admit I often make things sound more exciting then they are. 'We need to leave in 5 mins at 4 o'clock because I have a surprise to show you' (spiders web or exciting pudding for tea etc)

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