Is dd (2 year old)'s shyness anything to worry about.

[Lovelydiscusfish]

My dd, who has just turned two, used to be really confident and sociable, but over the past couple of months has become really shy, both with strangers and people she knows well but hasn't seen for a while.
For example, if we meet other children in the playground and they invite her to play with them, she will stick her bottom lip out and hide behind me, saying "I'm too shy." Yet she is very interested in what other children are doing, will comment on it to me, and after we come home she will talk about them at length!
As another example, today at church two older girls were there who have been playing with her and taking care of her during services since she was about one! But she hadn't seen them for various reasons for about a month - it took nearly half an hour (and amazing patience on their part) for her to warm up to them. She has even been like this with her dgps if she hasn't seen them for a while!
She does go to nursery 3 and a half days a week, and she is happy to go and apparently mixes well there. Nursery and the HV tell us her speech is very advanced (I say this not to sound like a cock, but to give more context) and she is highly affectionate with me and dh, telling us she loves us a lot.
I am worried because I was painfully shy as a child, and it stayed with me really till my late teens. I just wondered if anyone else had had a toddler who was like this, is it a normal phase etc, and if not can I do anything to help? Thank you.

My DD is 9 now and she was like this. She also had (still does) advanced language. I sometimes think that having a greater insight into people stands kids in bad stead for socialising...deep thinkers!

HOwever....DD is better now...she won't ever be the life and soul I don't think but I have accepted that she is introverted. It's not the shyness that makes shy kids unhappy but the feeling of pressure on them to join in when they're happy watching and will often join in in their own time.

My DD has managed to find similarly quiet girls to hang out with at school and in Brownies which she adores. She goes to ballroom dancing too and loves that. I think she does well in very female environments.

Your DD is only a baby still and will change a lot yet....

Hi lovely My ds is 2.7months. He too has become painly shy the last few months. It came out of no where and happens when he hasn't seen someone he knows well for a few days or weeks.

He refuses to say hello or goodbye to my sister.
However after about half an hour in someone's company he is full of chat.

His speech is also quite advanced for his age.

I agree with Mrs I think my ds is a deep thinker and likes to observe first and decide if he wants to get involved or not.

I don't force it and just follow this lead

Miaow Laughed out loud at your Apprentice comment.What a scary world that would be!

Dd was similar at 2. Cried at nursery drop off, wouldn't join in at toddler groups and so on, hid from people she didn't know well. Then she turned 3. She is still an observer and likes to have things figured out before joining in but she suddenly became much more confident. it was almost as though she said to herself on her third birthday that she was a big girl now and big girls didn't hide.

Thanks for your replies everyone. Will try to stop worrying about it so much. If it is just who she is and she is happy with it then that is of course fine - I just don't want her to be like I was, painfully shy but wishing I wasn't. It breaks my heart a bit to hear her shout "friends!" and start running when we are on the way to Tea Time Club and she hears the children playing - yet when we get there she won't actually play with anyone! But I am projecting, I guess, and need to try not to over think it.

My DS was like this for a few months when he was exactly the same age. We used to take him to parties and he'd be the only kid cowering behind our legs and refusing to take part unless one of us was right by his side. But he's now very sociable and confident and always the first to rush off at parties and have fun. So it could just be a little stage (sorry for cliche!).

Thanks pjs - that is reassuring to know.

Often they won't actually play with anyone else till they're about 5 anyway! Sure some will at about 3-4 but it's very normal to be later.x