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Behaviour/development

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it's normal to be obsessive at 17 months isn't it?! Reassurance for first-timer please . . .

14 replies

kalidasa · 04/05/2014 16:38

DS is 17 months and SO obsessive about everything being in it's right place/doing things in the right order and so on. For instance, we were in a bakery with him in his buggy this morning and the kind lady serving handed him a free mini chocolate pastry (his favourite sort). He took it enthusiastically but refused to start eating it until I had got his bib out of his bag and put it on. He insists on so many things: wiping down his high chair once he's finished eating (he'll do this himself if you give him a cloth!), putting his dirty nappy in the bin immediately, taking his shoes off as soon as we get home and putting them in the same place etc, washing fruit before eating it (he often reminds me to do this). Yesterday morning I was about to leave the house with him and he reminded me that I needed my keys! Both DH and I are fairly tidy and organised but only very ordinarily so. He seems to have a very good memory for processes/routines and will ask or initiate repeating activities even after we've only done them once - for instance, I showed him how to put soap on his hands and wash himself in the bath one evening and he has initiated this and insisted on it in every bath since. Needless to say he throws a tantrum if he is thwarted in any of these routines.

It would be great if you could reassure me that all this is normal at this age! His personality seems very cautious/careful but otherwise we have no concerns.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Lovelydiscusfish · 04/05/2014 17:51

Bumping this for you as can't really advise. My dd is not like this (very messy!) but I have met many toddlers at play groups etc who are very very keen on cleanliness, insist on bibs when eating, on packing things away, etc etc. So my instinct would be it is just a personality trait some have? He does sound like his understanding and speech are super-good for his age.

stargirl1701 · 04/05/2014 17:53

My DD is 19 months and just like this. I think it is a phase. I doubt I'll have a super today 13 year old!

stargirl1701 · 04/05/2014 17:53

*tidy

wightjellybaby · 04/05/2014 18:01

My dd 18mth just the same as your ds except she will not wear a bib under any circumstances. Also when getting her dressed it has to be done in her order I spent an hour try explaining why a tshirt goes under a jumper (ended up without the tshirt on)

kalidasa · 04/05/2014 18:04

Thanks all! Good to hear of similar toddlers. His comprehension does seem good, he seems to understand most things in both languages (DH speaks French with him) I don't think his speech is particularly impressive though, he's not doing sentences or anything, he's just very good at using one or two words to indicate what he means!

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Andcake · 04/05/2014 21:38

Ds is a bit like this has been for the past few months - he's 21 months now! Won't sit in high chair unless his bucked in, tides balls at soft play - gd forbid anyone take them out of the ball pit he wrestles them out of lo hands to put them away and most annoyingly runs to the Hoover cupboard as soon as I put my slippers on then crys if Henry doesn't come out! He loves Henry! Believe me I don't Hoover every time I put my slippers on!

Pagwatch · 04/05/2014 21:55

Obsessive behaviours are common in chikdren with asd.
My son was like yours at the sme age and has autism and asd.
But chikdren can be particular at ths age and it may be nothing, especially if you have no other concerns.
But if you think this is beyond the ordinary then go and see your GP.
Early support makes a huge difference.

NoIamAngelaHernandez · 04/05/2014 21:56

I have twin DS 's and neither of them were like this.

kalidasa · 05/05/2014 08:17

Thanks pag. I've had a look at some of the 'warning signs' of autism/asd at this sort of age and he doesn't seem to have any of them - lots of eye contact, very communicative and he started pointing quite early. So I hope that's reassuring, though obviously I am not an expert at all. The only other things he does that some of them mention is that he is really obsessed with jigsaw puzzles at the moment, and he has always been quite sensitive - easily overwhelmed by noise etc. But to be honest, so am I (e.g. hysterical meltdown at first school disco when I was 8) so he might just get that from me.

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Pagwatch · 05/05/2014 08:52

It's difficult isn't it - ordinary behaviour can be a flag but it can also just be a stage. I remember gradually thinking 'this is too much, too intense' but it was over time and I couldn't trust my own opinions.
Some of it seemed problematic and yet it seemed to be just how DS2 operated.

I think you are quite right to just keep an eye and look out for other signs he may be struggling. I would keep an eye on sound sensitivity too. Having sensory problems can have a deep effect on children and can exist separately from issues like autism.

There are some posters on the Special Needs board who know loads about sound sensitivity and sensory problems. You could nip over there and ask questions if it would help.

Don't fret on your own though will you? It's a horribly lonely thing to do. Ask questions here, go to the SN board if you want to chat or go and talk to your GP if you have a good one.

Pagwatch · 05/05/2014 08:56

My friend had concerns about her DD when she was about four and didn't tell anyone for ages - she got herself so stressed and yet her GP was great and her DD was just copying some rather anxious behaviours my friend was displaying. So they were getting into a vicious circle of stress .
Always better to chat....

chocgalore · 05/05/2014 09:15

Dd2 was like this. Dd1 has autism and i started to worry
about these obsessions. Dd2 is 3 now and still very much like this (nursery noted this too) but we don't have any other concerns about her development at the moment. however, I am keeping a good eye on things.

I would keep an eye on things. You don't seem to have any other concerns about his development?

If you have any concerns about Asd, the do the M-Chat to see if it flags up anything.

chocgalore · 05/05/2014 09:16

www.m-chat.org/mchat.php

kalidasa · 05/05/2014 14:16

Thanks choc, that's a helpful link. I just did it for him and it says "low risk" which is reassuring.

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