Calling parents of 5 or 6 yo boys who walk to school

[Babieseverywhere]

1. How old is your child ? (Between 5 and 6 yo)

1. Do they have to be physically carried outside the house to start school run ?

1. Would they run off with no regard to road safety ?

1. Would they drop to the floor like a sack of spuds ?

1. Do they shout that they hate school or other negative phrases.

1. Do they hit and kick you ?

1. If you saw the above behaviour on the school run, would you regard this as normal bad behaviour for this age of boy OR something else.

My DS has just turned 6, and pretty much no to all of the questions. He did a bit of the dropping to the ground last year when he was in preschool (age 5), and saying he didn't want to go. Imo there is a big difference between 5 and 6- I saw this a lot more with 4 and 5 yo preschool boys than 5 and 6yo p1s.
I think if it's every day there's a problem, more because of the hitting and kicking than anything else.

My friend's son behaved very similarly, and has just been diagnosed with Aspergers.

Posted too fast, sorry! Not saying that's the issue with your ds.

1. DD is 5.6.

1. No, mainly because I'm already carrying too much if it's a work day. She's been dragged at times.

1. Yes, she scares the hell out of me near roads.

1. I'd be in shock if she walked somewhere without dropping to the floor.

1. She seems to be fairly happy with school.

1. Yes, she hits, kicks and bites.

1. I don't bat an eye at behaviour any more. I just look at perfect kids wandering along and think that's odd!

DD has her first paed apt in 2 weeks.

Good luck Meglet....ours is next week.

DH is so sure I am over worrying for no reason...I hope he is right tbh.

Not sure if relevant as DS is only 4.9, also has speech disorder so in some ways is younger IYSWIM

1. How old is your child ? (Between 5 and 6 yo)

will be 5 in August

1. Do they have to be physically carried outside the house to start school run ?

no but needs some chivvying with getting shoes/coat

1. Would they run off with no regard to road safety ?

not for a long time now

1. Would they drop to the floor like a sack of spuds ?

very occasionally, he still finds school pretty tiring and sometimes gets overwhelmed and tearful on the way home, walk is less than a mile but uphill on way home

1. Do they shout that they hate school or other negative phrases.

no

1. Do they hit and kick you ?

not on the school run, still has occasional tantrums at home though and has sometimes hit at school :(

1. If you saw the above behaviour on the school run, would you regard this as normal bad behaviour for this age of boy OR something else.

not sure really, probably just assume the child was grumpy that day

BTW DS has regular assessments with paeds, originally started because of his communication problems, I was concerned about ASD when he was younger but they have ruled it out. Still have various problems with behaviour but the school run specifically isn't one of his issues IYSWIM.

Fuzzpig, hope you are getting all the support your DS needs.

DS is older now, but when he was that age, with HFA and noticeable behaviour issues, he wouldn't have done any of those things.

If I saw it as a one-off then I'd assume it was just a really bad day and be sympathetic. If it was regular I'd assume that something was wrong but keep an open mind as to what.

DS turned 5 in March. He has never done any of the things listed and in response to your last question, I wouldn't consider it as normal bad boy behaviour.

1. 5y11months
2. No
3. No
4. No but sometimes says he's tired and may sit on my bike as i wheel it

5.no

1. No (not on the school run, has kicked me once or twice when we are disagreeing at other times)
2. I would think the child was just having a bad day. If i saw it everyday, i would think he has to pull his socks up

ds is 12, but I remember him at 5. I have 5 year old girl who also walks to school.

. How old is your child ? (Between 5 and 6 yo)

ds now 12, but once was 5.
dd is 5 years old.

1. Do they have to be physically carried outside the house to start school run ?

ds and dd: never

1. Would they run off with no regard to road safety ?

Both of them would run off, but they had some sense of road safety. They would wait for me at road crossings

1. Would they drop to the floor like a sack of spuds ?

Very rarely

1. Do they shout that they hate school or other negative phrases.

No

1. Do they hit and kick you ?

Once in a blue moon. In fact I think that they left that kind of behaviour behind in the teri

1. If you saw the above behaviour on the school run, would you regard this as normal bad behaviour for this age of boy OR something else.

I think that you have a very unhappy little boy. I would ask him if everything was OK with school. Does he has friends? Is he making progress? Is he being bullied?

What is he like at the weekend or in the school holiday?

1. How old is your child ? (Between 5 and 6 yo) 6

1. Do they have to be physically carried outside the house to start school run ? No

1. Would they run off with no regard to road safety ? No

1. Would they drop to the floor like a sack of spuds ? No

1. Do they shout that they hate school or other negative phrases? My son has autism he continuously tells me he doesn't like school

1. Do they hit and kick you ? No

1. If you saw the above behaviour on the school run, would you regard this as normal bad behaviour for this age of boy OR something else? No I wouldn't regard this as normal behaviour.

DS1 when he was this age for q's 2-6 = No.
DS2 who is currently 5: 2 - No, 3 - yes, 4 - No, 5 - No, 6 - No.

If I saw it on the school run wouldn't think anything of it - everyone has a bad day now and then. If I was a parent with those problems every day then I would certainly be looking at how we could change the morning routine to combat those problems. Do you get up and rush him out of the house? Does he just not like walking? Is there a genuine issue with school or is it just getting there that is the problem for him? Do you have these reactions to anything else he does? Has this just started or is it ongoing since September? Is he absolutely exhausted - does he need to go to bed much earlier? Should he take some time out in the week? (If he is still 5 then legally you can pull him out if needed. Did this with my eldest who was exhausted the first term of school.)

Ds4 is just 6 in yr one and no to everything on that list, though he can be a but negative grumpy at times, he will daddle if grumpy but I can generally chivvy him along and make up a game to cheer him up. But I don't have to do that often.

Ds1, and ds3 were no to all at that age.

Ds2 always been more of a handful and still us at 11, we have seen camhs and add has been suggested. We have various strategies that help and he has got better as he has matured but he can still throw a good strop!

I would think either the child is overttired and having a bad day or if it was regular they weren't happy at school or there were some issues. I think you are doing the right thing with investigating.

're helpful things, visual charts/pictures of routines, the books 1,2,3 magic and also 'your explosive child' and I did a Webster Stratton? Parenting course that was helpful run free by children's centre and they provided childcare!

1. 5.5
2. No, he loves school and has never said he didn't want to go.
3. Yes, sometimes. However, we have places along the route where he knows he must wait if he runs on ahead, and he does. If he's scooting he has to be reminded to stop at the driveways as he forgets to treat them like crossing a road.
4. No.
5. No.
6. No.
7. I'd probably assume it was just a bad day, unless I saw it happened most days, in which case I'd think the child was unhappy at school and wonder how he was being supported through it.

DS is 5.8 and has never done any of those things apart from the occasional bolt, but then it's not really his style - he's more of a whingy moaner/daydreamy faffer.

If I saw a child behaving like this regularly, I would think there was probably something else going on. But I wouldn't necessarily make assumptions about what that was.

Hope all those with upcoming appointments get the answers they need :)

Thanks babies, hope your appt goes well.

I have a 5yo DD she was as you describe at preschool.

Really really difficult. Preschool (who were lovely patient souls) suggested I put her back in the buggy at 4yo because she was so difficult.

I laid it on thick about how she couldn't behave like this when she started school.

She has actually mostly been okay. Although last week she had a major tantrum outside school because I asked her to carry her school bag. Her teacher came out and managed to talk her down though.

Which kind of confirms for me that although she can be difficult she is nt.

My DS has just turned 6.

He has never done any of those things while walking to school. When he was younger, he sometimes dawdled a bit and claimed he was too tired to walk but was mostly fine.

If I saw a child behaving that way on the way to school, I'd feel sad for the parent. In fact, I did see someone having problems like that one morning, but with an older child (he is autistic). The mum was also trying to push a buggy with her younger child in, so I pushed the buggy while she dealt with the other child.

If I repeatedly saw the same child behaving like this on the way to school, I would wonder if the child had some emotional difficulties, or possibly special needs.

1.5y7m

1. never
2. never
3. Only if being silly/showing off to friends..
4. no
5. Never
6. I would assume it was a bad day or child showing off.

My daughter had serious school refusal issues, to the point of sometimes barricading herself in her room in the morning, which I worked with the school about - with various levels of success. (Some years/teachers were better than others.) She was usually well behaved once she was at school though.

However, based on the reaction -a lightheartedly sympathetic 'bad morning?' - of the school bus driver the time I carried then 6yo Girlchild from the house, physically placed her on the bus, and handed her shoes to her because she'd taken them off and thrown them away, I got the impression that her behaviour was not outside the realm of normal.

Her problems got better after she started getting help for her ADHD and mild anxiety issues. Which one of her teachers absolutely assured me, not 2 years earlier, that she didn't have. Stupid cow.
It never hurts to see if you can find an underlying issue for why he doesn't want to go to school - it's always possible, of course, that he'd rather just still be in bed or playing at home.