DD2 is 5.5 and is a real space cadet and pretty much always has been. My husband describes her as a 'changeling'. I have alway felt a bit of a disconnect with her that I haven't with her older sister or younger brother. I obviously love her nontheless but I do feel sad & cross sometimes that she doesn't seem to need or be interested in me.
So DD2 is now at school in reception year and although she has made lots of new friends including a bestie, academically it's not going so well. At parents eve we are told in polite terms that progress is slow and that she is being taken out of class for extra help (not sure if its SENCO though). I get the impression that the teacher is annoyed by her lack of concentration, bolshie (sp?) behaviour and generally her not knowing what day of the week it is IFYSWIM!
At home she is perfectly amiable until you need her to do something, then you have to ask again & again. You can ask politely, firmly, shout, threaten, etc it doesn't seem to register. She sometimes won't even turn her head, it's as if she can't hear you (hearing is fine according to school done sight & sound tests). Conversely when she wants you to do something for her, she wants it done her way immediately. She does a shouty scream and just won't give in until you've submitted to her will, its 0 to 60 if you say no, she will resort to kicking & punching.
She has loads of good qualities too but at the moment I can't cope with her being in her own little world where she's making herself untouchable. It sometimes feels like a crazy power play but then often her behaviour makes her seem too dim for that to be possible.
How do I deal with her? I'm becoming a bad mother towards her as my frustration rises.