3 year old scared to go for a wee!

[Fozi]

Having started the task of potty training my twins, I have hit an obstacle regarding my Ds
As expected there were a lot of wet pants when they both started. Apart from the endless washing I was doing, I didn't really mind.
However, my DS now is completly refusing to use the toilet at home. He just holds it in or eventually ends up wetting himself. Have tried all routes, rewards, encouragement, praising,but nothing seems to work anymore.
I've even tried bring quite firm with him and put him on the toilet to get him to wee,but he just screams and tries to shuffle off the toilet.
This may sound strange but he is uncomfortable with the sensation when the wee might hit his thighs on its way out (when he's sitting down)
Potties and even letting go into the garden with no pants haven't worked either.
Quite frankly I'm really worried and would love some advice
Xxx

Would it just be worth training the other twin and not making a big deal of your DS at the moment? Kids hate to be forced to do something they're not ready to do - and it sounds like he's not there yet. If the other one is successful maybe your DS will not want to be left out and follow the example.....just a thought anyway.

Does he have to sit down?

IME (friends LO, nephews, my own DS) boys seem to take a bit longer to 'get it' so I would maybe leave him till he feels ready.

However, if he is ready then standing up to wee is definately the way to go. My DS never sat down to wee. He started copying Daddy and never looked back.

Thank you ladies.
My Dd has mastered it (although is a bit hesitant with doing a poo!) even with all the praise we give her, Ds just doesn't seem to be that bothered.
I really don't mind whether he sits or stands and have told him he can go whichever way he wants :)
I do agree with you as to the fact he may need a bit longer, I think I'm worried (a bit uneccersarily) that I'm going to run out of ideas to try and get him out of this phobia (okay not that extreme) he seems to have developed.
I would love to hear any ideas of how I can get him to the bathroom without him having a tantrum at the moment.
God I feel so stupid asking these questions. Everyone must think I'm a right dunce.

How old is he? Girls are often ready a lot earlier than boys are. It sounds as though it might be best just to stop trying with him for a few months and have another try later before he ( and you) get too stressed about the whole thing.

Seeline- Ds is 3yrs 1month old. When you mean leave it for a while......do you mean putting him back in pull-ups?
He contradicts himself regarding his behaviour towards using the bathroom all the time. Just this morning he was quite willing to have a go on the toilet with success,but then he is adamant he doesn't need to go each time I've offered since then.
My twins were premmies born at 32 weeks,so far there haven't been any issues regarding their development etc.

Xx

I think that is still quite young for boys. I tried my Ds when he was 2.6 and lasted three days - disaster!! I left it completely - back into nappies and didn't mention anything to do with potty training for ages (mainly because DD arrived and I couldn't take the hassle). We tried again at 3.7 and he got it within days with only a couple of accidents. For what it's worth, he never showed any of the signs that are supposed to indicate readiness for training. He would happily sit in a wet nappy for ages if I didn't notice - he would never tell me. He never said he need to use the loo. Once he got it though progress was quick, although it was another year or so before he was dry at night.
Just to compare DD was potty trained at 2.6, and was dry at night at the same time.

Thank you Seeline.
That has really reassured me and I'm now feeling less worried. :)
I know we shouldn't compare our children with others,but its hard when all the other boys in his nursery class are all going to the toilet quite happily. But I do agree its important not to pressure him.
Your DD is a star for not only being potty trained but also dry at night! :)

TBH I totally forgot to put a pull up on her the first night She was fine and so we carried on, but I don't think I would have risked it if I'd been thinking properly