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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3yo withholding poo

22 replies

SlinkyB · 28/04/2014 20:50

Does anyone else have experience of this please? It's starting to really upset me

My 3.3yo ds is deliberately holding his poo in when he needs to go. I know because he suddenly stops what he's doing, screws his face up, clenches his buttocks and walks on tip toes. He then sucks his thumb and asks for a cuddle and seems upset.

I've tried talking to him gently and explaining the importance of going when he needs to, but it's not working. He's only tending to poo once or twice a week,and that's after I've spiked his yogurt with Lactulose.

He's always had good control in that dept, and has seemingly always only ever pooed at home. I made sure we didnt go anywhere for a few days last week for this reason.

His belly is now sticking out/is hard, and it's affecting his sleep.

What should I do?

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manchestermummy · 28/04/2014 21:05

DD2 was exactly like this for quite some time. I would go to the GP in the first instance. We got something called Movicol that definitely helped. Secondly, and don't laugh, get on to YouTube and look for "Poo goes to Pooland". It will be worth a shot!

nailslikeknives · 28/04/2014 21:10

Prune juice, just an inch or so in an ikea type plastic cup, every morning, solves that sort of problem round here.
I think it makes the urge to go stronger and the actual process easier. Then hopefully, as they go more often, they stop worrying about it.
Good luck.
I have also been known to resort to chocolate button bribery - 'two for a poo'!

HolyDrinker · 28/04/2014 21:23

We are going through similar and have adopted a two pronged approach (not literally, ouch poor DS).

Firstly, diet. Upping the fibre with extra fruit - stewed fruit in yogurt is a big hit. But crucially upping his fluid intake to make sure he's drinking enough to soften the poo. Also giving a bit of califig.

Secondly, timing. When the withholding moves start (taking the form of the Riverdance in this house), we encourage him to sit on the loo. Usually the iPad helps with this, it's a huge novelty as we hardly ever let him play with it. Then the urge comes, he's in the right place/position and the increased fibre and fluid makes it slip out easily.

It's still a work in progress and getting him to drink is exhausting but we've managed to get it down from withholding for 10 days or so, to every other day more or less.

Original poster

SlinkyB · 28/04/2014 22:30

Thanks all. I'm 99% sure it's nothing to do with his diet - he eats plenty of fresh fruit and veg. He's a great eater like me and will ask for muesli and dried fruit for breakfast (prunes, apricots).

I will nag him to drink more water though. He's been at nursery 8.15-5.30 today and don't know how much he drinks there. Will maybe have a word with them. He hasn't pooed there since he was about 16 months old

Thank you for the YouTube suggestion Manchester, he loves going on the tablet so I'll look it up.

I thought we'd overcome all this a couple of months ago...up until then he would only poo in a nappy. We did all the bribery, corruption, reward, stories and chocolate buttons then

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Original poster

SlinkyB · 28/04/2014 22:34

holy what's califig? I too encourage him to sit on the loo when he starts river dancing (great description!) but he refuses and lies, saying he doesn't need to go.

He finally went on Sat night after four days, and he was a different boy. The constipation seems to make him so lethargic and grumpy. I just know it's a behavioural thing though and not down to diet/exercise.

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sonlypuppyfat · 28/04/2014 22:42

In the end we had to use glycine suppositeries sorry I can't spell! And they were fab.

dripty · 28/04/2014 23:08

Sounds like my DD.
Every month or so she had these 'phases' wher she refused to poo.
Movicol worked but she was taking 12 sachets per day at one stage ( on DRs orders).
Now has to take 1 sachet per day to keep her vowels ticking over.

Original poster

SlinkyB · 29/04/2014 07:36

dripty so the Dr prescribed laxatives because your dd was with holding? I've already got Lactulose from an episode he had at Christmas, but I'm not sure what the 'maintenance' dose is for a 3yo? It says to start with 10ml, so I'm giving him that each day.

Just watched Poo Goes to Pooland (we also had a leaflet from the HV of that, and we used to read it to him each night).

Off to get prune juice later.

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Original poster

SlinkyB · 29/04/2014 07:40

Ps think you mean bowels?

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LostInWales · 29/04/2014 07:41

DS1 did this when DS2 was born and also when DS2 had very bad chickenpox and was getting a lot of attention! It's funny now but at the time so annoying/upsetting. Regular doses of lactulose and not making a fuss or any mention of what he was doing did the trick. He is 14 now and sometimes with he would think about holding it in more often .

Original poster

SlinkyB · 29/04/2014 08:42

Haha Lost! Actually, I am wondering if it's attention seeking. We have a 15wk old ds, but I do my best to divide my attention between the two of them.

Do you remember how many doses of Lactulose you'd give him in a day? Don't want to worry about over-doing it and having the, erm, opposite problem.

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HolyDrinker · 29/04/2014 08:46

Califig is just concentrated fig juice. It's not a laxative as such, but helps maintain regular bowel movements. No idea if it works but feel more comfortable giving him that rather than a proper laxative.

My mum also swears by a warm bath to encourage a movement. Makes for a messy clean up operation though!

HolyDrinker · 29/04/2014 08:46

You can get califig in any chemist.

MadMonkeys · 29/04/2014 10:36

My DD was exactly the same. I tried to sort it with lactulose etc but it got better when I took her to the GP. She was prescribed movicol, which is a gentle way of helping - it makes the stools softer and easier to pass. DD had been withholding for a while and had impacted stools (I didn't realise as she was still passing soft poo, but it turns out this was bypassing the hard impacted poo... Lurvely!). It's best to sort this out as soon as you can as it is very uncomfortable/painful for the little one and they can need help for a while. I don't think lactulose is recommended as a long term solution? But movicol is fine to use long term. I'd recommend seeing your GP just to check there is no impacted poo.

melody1979 · 29/04/2014 12:08

If the problem really persists for months with no improvement (which was the case for my DD), I recommend reading this book: www.amazon.co.uk/Constipation-Withholding-Your-Child-Soiling/dp/1843104911/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1398768965&sr=1-1&keywords=withholding+poo
It was a real eye-opener for us. The main message is in 3 key-points: 1) Fibre rich diet, 2) lots of fluids, and 3) laxative for as long as it takes. I was very uncomfortable about using laxative for a long period of time, until I read this book and realised it is the only way of breaking the cycle of "pooing hurts - being afraid of pooing - therefore withholding poo - therefore poo getting even harder -etc". We have followed Dr Cohn's advice and also talked to our GP, and our DD has greatly improved and now goes happily everyday (she used to hold for up to 10 days, and never more than once or twice per week). Still a long way to go though as it is a slow process.

By the way, my DD is 3 years old, lactulose 15mL two times a day, occasionally Movicol if things get worse, and minimum 1litre of water per day + fibre rich diet. She is not potty-trained yet, for this very reason (poo with-holding problem), but we are planning to start soon.

Good luck to all of you with your poo withholder toddlers!

magentastardust · 29/04/2014 13:18

I am having this problem with DC3 who is 2yrs 10 months. She has been dry for a few months and has no problem there but she is scared of pooing and withholds. Sometimes she will poo in her pull up but a lot of the time when she is struggling to withhold we are getting marks in her pulls ups and some soft sludgy poo coming out (sorry!) which isn't pleasant for anyone.
For those that used movicol can I ask If it helped make her need to go rather than soften the stools as such. I need her to have the urge to go more often so there is a bigger chance of success and encouragement with using the toilet and potty -we don't really need softer stools as she isn't actually constipated she is withholding.
Thanks

MadMonkeys · 29/04/2014 14:11

Movicol is for softening stools, it doesn't stimulate the bowel. Kids can have impacted stools and still produce soft ones and the soft stuff slips past the blockage. Kids often present with what their patents think us diarrhea, when in fact they have impacted stools.

lucywiltshire · 29/04/2014 14:19

we had the same with our daughter and it got so bad she was leaking liquid poo which was seeping past the compacted poo. She has been on Movicol since last summer. It continues to be a battle and gets me down but at least she now goes. You start them off on huge quantities of Movicol to clear the poo and then reduce the dose until they are going regularly. It is a long term cure. Sorry!

dripty · 29/04/2014 16:49

Yes it is long term.
If the problem has been going on for a year then that's how long it will take to completely cure.
At least that's what we were told at the incontinence clinic.

Original poster

SlinkyB · 29/04/2014 20:23

Oh gosh, seems some of you have it a lot worse than me

I'm so tired that I actually cried whilst putting ds to bed tonight, as he was dancing on tiptoes and crying out in pain. He asked what was wrong and I just said I hated seeing him in pain and couldn't understand why he would do this to himself. He gave me a hug and kiss love him.

Thanks for the info melody, didn't realise there were books published on the subject. I upped his Lactulose to 15ml this evening, still nothing yet.

oh, and 1 litre of water a day?! Crikey, that's gonna be tough. I did nag him all afternoon (picked him up from nursery at 1pm) and think I got about 400mls in him.

He last 'went' on Sat night (before that it was Weds/previous Sat), how long do you think I should leave it before calling the Dr's? He's been crying out in pain and lying down a lot today. I have tried to ignore it but it's hard.

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MadMonkeys · 30/04/2014 10:58

I'd go to the doc's if I were you, what's to lose? Childhood constipation/withholding is very common, don't think you'll be wasting your doctor's time, that is what they are there for. It is upsetting you and your little chap, why struggle on when you can get help?

Original poster

SlinkyB · 30/04/2014 14:53

I phoned the Dr's and requested a call back from the triage nurse (it's how they do it at my surgery) as ds was screaming in agony and still refusing to sit on the toilet.

Then he had a massive melt down, wet himself...and finally I just held him on the toilet and the biggest poo instantly made an appearance! Followed by many more.

The nurse called just after (typical) and was really supportive and empathetic. She said her daughter used to be exactly the same, and even now will only 'go' when there's no-one else in the house/she runs a bath.

She's in her twenties

Nurse is doing a new prescription for Lactulose and recommends I give 10mls each morning in some orange juice. Just tried him with some diluted OJ and he still hates it! Will try with his preferred apple.

Still have to constantly nag about drinking water.

Thanks again all

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