ds who is 3 is clingy with my friend!

[eastendgirl]

My friend has a 3 old ds who is very clingy towards her and won't let her talk to anyone, but now my son as well seems to expect her attentions all the time. I stepped in yesterday and told her she has to say no to him, and that we taught him to be independent by saying no and establishing some boundaries, I am a sahm, so I do spend lots of time playing with my ds but I am very clear with him that he has to leave me some space too, and he is fine about it. I feel very embarrassed about it, because the 2 kids won't leave her alone, and of course she and I cannot talk to each other because she is busy with the kids. I suspect her own ds is clingy because she cannot say no,but I really don't like seeing my own ds not respecting her space, and fed up because when we meet up I want to chat with her. Has it happened to you as well?

This hasn't happened to me but I think you've dne the right thing with your DS for you. I need space too and couldn't cope if my DS was clingy. I do know friends who have clingy children though and it's ok and works for them though I find like you it makes life difficult in trying to have a conversation. I do believe in sticking to my own 'house rules' in other people's houses though, eg, no toys on the sofa in our house so no toys on anyone else's house either. I think it helps to teach consistency. I know this is slightly off subject but hope it helps.

Thanks for this.

I totally see where you are coming from and I think you've done really well establishing yourself a rule where your ds can give you time to acheive other stuff in the day as well as play with him - well done! I have really struggled with that, though have got there with ds!

I also know what you mean about your friend needing time to talk to you but the only thing I would say is that sometimes it's REALLY special and good for kids self-esteem to have an adult who they know will always play with them and give them time, as a priority above everything else...my mum is like this with ds and their bond is unbelievable and lovely...and I also think it can't do any harm for kids to count grown ups as their friends as well as kids - why not?

I guess what I mean is could you give an nich more than you would want to in this regard? If you feel your friend really likes to play? Obviously if she just has issues saying no then that's a different matter I guess...

I agree with you sunnyside up, but my friend complains about her ds being clingy, so she must feel fed up with my ds being demanding. I agree with you that it is good for kids to play with other adults, but the adults need to set some limits unless they just want to play and play and play.