So, my 4yo son (5 in september) is due to start school in August, at the Primary school attatched to his nursery.
Today i had a meeting with the Headteacher to discuss the transition from nursery to Primary 1 (Scotland) and she sort of dropped into the conversation that DS is about six months behind on a maturity level, and also described him as having behaviour difficulties.
Now, HT is wonderful, DS and i are both very lucky to have her at his school- she is very much involved with all the children and gets to know them as individuals, and is very supportive of children and parents, i really can't fault her at all, but this has come as quite a surprise to me.
I cannot lie and say it's completely out of the blue- DS is an only child and did have a hard time in his first year at nursery, settling down was difficult for him, but with
perserverance and one to one support things improved alot and i thought he was getting on ok. At one point early on, he was referred to Paediatrician and speech therapist but neither of them had any concerns with his development and did not want to see him again. At further meetings with his nursery teachers, reports on his progress have been positive, whilst still acknowledging that DS has some trouble when it comes to following instructions and also with sitting down for group story times/ crafts etc rather than free play, again this has been discussed and strategies put in place which work and things have continued to improve in that area. All teachers agree that he is academically able and not behind in that respect, he just needs encouragement to aplly himself and that is something i have been personally working on as well.
At home he can definitely concentrate- he can spend a good amount of time using lego, knex, reading a book, colouring, with playdough etc. i have put blame on him being easily distracted at nursery by other children- ie. when he sees them running around playing he wants to join in with that over sitting at a table doing at an activity etc. he is also stubborn and difficult.to desuade once he has an idea in his head, so i admit getting him away from play to sit on a mat is a challenge.
anyway, all of the above i knew, but have always been under the impression that he just needs a little extra attention and ecouragement (usually from TA or student teacher) for more concentrated activities, as well as.some time out when he gets frustrated. i had no idea he was 6 months behind and needed to be labelled as having "behavioural difficulties" and it has really come as a shock- so much so that i didn't even pick HT up on it amd just continued discussion about P1 transition as if it wasnt news to me at all.
I couldn't care less if what she is saying is correct or not- if it is, i just want to make sure i do everything i can to help him, and to make sure he gets what he needs at home and at school- which i have no doubt he will. I suppose i just didn't think the difficulties he has are serious enough to need labelled!
i wonder where to go from here- do i speak to the HT again and explain that i need to know more and was just a bit stunned to pick her up on what was said this morning? do i go to Health Visitor? Peadiatrician? I feel a bit lost like i don't know where to start and also don't want HT to think i was being dim or neglectful... 6 months is alot to be behind by... how did i not realise myself?
sorry it's so long, i don't really have anyone to talk to about this either (my mother quite dismissive about it, his father is totally absent).
not really sure what i'm asking for, i suppose any comments or thoughts would be helpful at this time...