DD is overweight

[herethereandeverywhere]

I know DD (4) is overweight. Her diet is ok but she is fond of sweet treats. The main thing she does is always finishes absolutely everything she is ever given and she LOVES food. f I ask her how her day in preschool was she'll just tell me what she ate. 2 minutes after lunch she asks when she can have a snack.

I've been trying to get a grip on this for 2 years without becoming too draconian about it/making it in to a big issue.

So is stretching out a bit but definitely looks overweight. HOW do I get a grip on this?

Advice on normal meals would be good but what I really need is advice on how to handle the ensuing sh*tstorm from her. She is a creature of habit and if we no longer get an icecream when we go to the park or no longer offer macaroni cheese at teatime she's going to go nuts and be very very upset. At the moment she also has one 'special treat' per day (85 cal pack of buttons/mini size ice lolly) this will have to go too, she'll be heartbroken.

She is very active I don't drive so she scoots/walks everywhere 5 days a week, we might do a trip out in the car on the weekend.

We have just got out of 2 very difficult years of horrendous tantruming from her and I'm much happier as a parent than I used to be as a result but I know I have to tackle this. Help.

Oh sorry, ignore my banana suggestion, just re-read

I think she could do with more protein so she isn't constantly hungry, then you can despense the snacks.

Ie rice crispies and toast. Rice crispies are just air really. Can you swap for say a boiled egg, large spoon if baked beans, piece of toast and some veg ie mushrooms.

It will keep here much fuller so she isn't starving all morning.

Also the meal at nursery is very early. I would give another small meal in eve instead of ice lolly/ choc and gingerbread. Could you give her a little ' picnic' tea on those evenings instead. Ie a little plate of tomatoes/ raw veg/ cheese cubes/ cold sausage/ houmous/ pita bread/ avocado/ fruit etc etc. just pick a couple each eve cut up

I don't know how much help I can be, but I do know this one thing - my DS is 4 and if I don't give him either 2 weetabix (with a little chopped fruit on top ) or porridge (again plus a little fruit) he is hungry ALL DAY.... literally from 20 mins after breakfast... they are the only things which fill him up! By the fruit on top, I mean either a handful of raisins / a piece of banana chopped up / similar stuff

Since I accepted that, and make sure he has that sort of thing 5/6 days a week - his eating has got much better!

Also - the only thing about your DD's diet I can really see as a possibe issue is not much protein - its more filling than carbs, so I try to get some in wherever possible - not hard with DS as he is a proper carnivore, DD can be trickier for me

Well, I just put her height and weight into the BMI calculator and unless my scales are wrong then she's in the healthy range. 84th centile. But she looks really pudgy!

Anyway, I guess that although the numbers aren't indicating 'concern' I can identify lots of elements of her diet that aren't healthy and should be improved - thanks for all the suggestions, it's been really helpful.

Reading your menu I'd say there's too much carb and too much sugar. Not that I am saying you should cut out a food group, but you need to up the veg a lot. My dsis dd sounds like yours, but there is no way she would be feeding her those things. She is allowed pudding once a week, and very few sweet things on a daily basis.

Raisins and other dried fruit irregularly. Swap this with nuts, very filling and also nutritious. Greek yoghurt is great for breakfast, with granola. It's very filling and we put it with frozen (defrosted) berries. It sounds like your dd2 may like it. Both my fussy eaters love it. They also love rice cakes as they are fairly tasteless. Popcorn is a nice treat, just a bit of melted butter on it.

How about cutting some carrot sticks and she can have them when she is hungry. I offer my kids raw veg as it really tests their 'hungry' levels! Carrot stick and houmous is a healthy and filling snack.

No need for milk and another snack before bed...we eat 3 meals a day and 2 snacks. I think that is plenty. Perhaps make tea a bit later (we eat at 5.30/ 6). If the afternoon snack is not a 'treat' (why does she need a treat everyday - it's not a treat anymore?) and is something more nutritious but filling, you could afford to stretch teatime a bit later so there's no need for yet another sweet snack in there.

In terms of your dd2, I am probably more of an expert as I have 2 like this (and ds1 particularly bad). I have realised the more sweet stuff they have, the less they actually want proper food. I would include stuff like hot cross buns. It's actually eating better meals that puts weight on, not a few sugary snacks so I wouldn't worry about your dd2 dropping these. Your meals sound fine - spag bol, fish pie, macaroni cheese etc. I think it's the snacks and treats really. And possibly making the veg part of her meal larger and keeping the pasta/ potato bit smaller.

But how do I make either of them eat those things?!! Or is food refusal part of the healthy regime?

They spit out chewed up nuts whenever they have tried them.

DD1 has such an aversion to banana she complains about the smell when DD2 is eating some!

If I do raw veg with houmous they suck the houmous off the veg and leave the veg behind.

How do you find healthy granola (without making your own, I don't have time)? Most I have looked at have a way higher sugar % than weetabix/rice krispies/ porridge, 20% or more.

Do I just keep chopping and presenting fruit and veg they don't like/ have refused in the past and binning it when they don't eat it?

Oh, the 'special treat' everyday came about when she was tantrumming horrendously all the time - to the point I'd stopped taking her out to some places because I couldn't get her to behave as required/leave when we needed to without a tantrum. If we got through a whole day she got a special treat - it was a powerful incentive as she loves her food. I realise the problem I have created with this but thank God we got the behaviour under control when nothing else seemed to matter to her (stickers/toy removal/time out/naughty step/saving for something were all either too remote from the behaviour or something that she genuinely seemed willing to pass up on, perhaps as she was so young).

I don't think her diet is too bad but I would knock the gingerbread on the head and replace the second yoghurt with fruit

Agree you should keep the treat as this is working for her behaviour right now. Could you make homemade veg soup and freeze in portions if time is an issue.

What were her percentiles when she was born? If they were similar, then there really isn't an issue.

She doesn't seem to be eating too much btw from what you listed. Is she getting enough exercise? How about getting out and running around more with her? That sounds more likely cause of gaining weight.

Please don't mention her weight to her or in earshot unless you want it to be an 'ishhoo'

She will get used to not having treats so often. Just explain that treats are not really treats if you have them often, so in future it's a small treat twice a week. And be strict with yourself over that. Do not end up feeling sorry for her. It sounds as if she has got used to all these treats, which is easy for anyone to do, never mind a small child. Especially with sweet stuff. But eventually it should be possible to go to the park without having to buy something when you get there (other than water). I have to work hard with one of my dc in this regard - he would have me buy him something sweet whenever we went out anywhere - but I have to be strict and limit treats (which they do get and look forward to) or he would be wanting sweets all the time and have black teeth...

OP makes an interesting point about what she's done with the sweets as reward for not having a tantrum - perhaps behaviour shouldn't be linked to food.

OP have skimmed the thread to see if the toast in the morning has been mentioned - she really needs some protein then to prevent setting up a sugar cycle / crash for the day. Full fat milk on the cereal - they need the fat and it slows the uptake of milk sugars. No added sugar. And protein - an egg, peanut butter, or cream cheese on the toast. Read a recipe for jam. The sugar content is astonishing. Fruit toast is basically cake.

Soup: make your own and freeze, lentil is really quick and easy and has more protein.

Snacks: Hummus - counts as a veg! especially if you make your own (easy). Peanut butter and apple? cheese on rice cakes?

Go cold turkey on the sweet treat, she's just going to have to get upset.

I would think of it as retraining her tastebuds. Ultimately, the more sugar she has, the more she'll want, and the sweeter her palate will become. Cutting it out as much as you can is easier in the long run than trying to calibrate, iyswim.

Hope I think so - I definitely reward and console myself with food, DH doesn't, and I am trying to avoid linking food to emotions or behaviour with DD, other than making it sociable and pleasurable. It's incredibly difficult to stop it slipping in though. We spend the first few years of their lives praising constantly for eating

She was 75 centile for weight and height when born. once weaned it went quickly to 91 then 95th for weight, same for height, where it's stayed.

I could make a whole vat of soup and freeze it - have done so in the past. No-one actually eats it so the lumps go in the bin and the liquid down the sink (except what I eat). Am I supposed to just get on with the waste of time, money and food that is making healthy stuff that goes in the bin? I don't mean that to sound argumentative, I know I'm getting this wrong but is that the answer to getting it right? (Don't know, genuine question).

The praising for eating thing is interesting because it's exactly what we do for food refuser DD2, who sits about 5cm from DD1 at every meal time.

sorry, meant she stayed 75th for height throughout.

And I hate jam, as a concept! My MIL introduced DD to it several years ago - building on my husbands jar a month habit and I haven't been able to break the request ever since (if it's ok at nannys and for daddy, why not for me?)

The healthy food in the bin stuff - I really do feel your pain (toddler DD). Soup: if she likes cream of tomato, make something like butternut squash (easy, sweet). Blend it smooth and add whole milk. Do not tell her you've made it. Think that would work? Lentil also blends beautifully smooth, carrot and onion sweeten it. I have a stick blender form Sainsburys that was ten quid and works fine.

More broadly, I guess the answers to your questions, brutally, for me are

1. yes, you have to persist with the healthy food and not offer other things, otherwise, logically, where will it end up? She's 4 and you are already posting here out of concern. Get a grip now, before she can go to the shops herself.
2. things that you don't like, like jam, you have to just put your foot down, and maybe DH needs to give it up too for a while. You have a treat a day because you slipped into it and don't have the heart to take it away. You have jam because you don't have the heart to say no. And you're here asking how she can lose weight. I am not trying to be horrid or aggressive, please believe me - just to point out what I see in your posts that I think is going on. Steel your nerve. Explain to her that is it not good for her. ANd take it away.

I do know that this is infinitely easier said than done. I do. And you've been through two years of what sounds like epic tantrums. I can't imagine how tired you are. But ultimately, if you are serious, the answer is yes you must take control, despite the resulting storms of tears.

ps sounds like you really need to get MIL on board, you can't do this stuff with people cutting across you / undermining you.

I would puree the soup if she likes tinned. Just a hand blender straight in the saucepan. Granola is high sugar but just a bit on too of yoghurt which had protein and fat to keep them full. Berries has loads of vits. Jam once a week?

I would cut most sweety stuff for a bit and up the veg portion of things she likes not trying to get her into other stuff too quickly. Then start trying new stuff as her palate changes. My dd doesn't like nuts but eat them when nothing else there. Poster up thread made good suggestion with pound shop treats. My dsis used books at times or craft stuff. Instantreward

Thanks for posting this OP. My DS (just 3) is apparently overweight according to BMI; he's 9th centile height and between 50th and 75th for weight, but he always has been. This makes him 88th centile, which shocked me!
He sounds similar to your dd, and as if to coincide with this he's suddenly been ravenous all the time and always asking for food. He doesn't get it!
Typical day is:
6am Toast (small loaf slice) with butter
8am porridge with grated apple or boiled egg with toast.
Snack mid morning usually 2 rice cakes with butter or cream cheese
Lunch (12ish) usually hot meal like pasta with bolognese
Doesn't always have afternoon snack but would be yoghurt or fruit if asks
Dinner usually 'picnic style' cucumber, carrot, pepper, ham or cheese, hummus.
Drinks water or very dilute juice

Our main problems are the childminder, where I know he asks for what the older after school kids get and gets it, and I think he snacks lots there. That's 3 days a week.
Also DP will buy him an ice cream or pink doughnut or croissant if he's out with him on the weekend.

I don't know whether to carry on as we are and just up the exercise (we walk the dog, go to the park, swim once a week and play in the garden), or whether to make some drastic changes.

More protein, less sugar and refined carbs.
Breakfast should be whole grain toast if she has toast. With a boiled egg or peanut butter she will be much more full for the day. When she has soup make a homemade version with lentils or beans in, blended if she won't eat bits. Tinned tomato soup is very sugary.
Afternoon snack should maybe be savoury, there seems to be a lot of sweet snacks in her day. Crackers with cheese and ham would be more filling, or baked beans on toast. Drop the bedtime biscuit, just because it's organic doesn't mean it's not a biscuit.
However as I have the world's most fussy child all this advice is theoretical for me! I'd give anything for my son to eat soup and pie and all the rest.

Just to say I would so agree with cut the suger and up the protein!

My DD1 was always plump, didn't walk til she was 18mo, I worried a lot about her weight until about a year ago. she is now 10, has had a huge growth spurt, entirely self regulates her eating and does a load of exercise and is a perfect weight now.

More exercise. I really think that for a lot of kids it's about moving more. Get a trampoline for the garden, take her swimming every week, sign her up for a gym class. I don't think scootering is that taxing walking is more exercise.

I can totally empathize op. My Son is 8 and I can really see the weight creeping on and it worries me greatly. The thing is I have done a nutrition course in the past I know what I need to be feeding him, but getting him to eat it is a whole other thing.

He has an ASD so it makes it very difficult to introduce new foods, new exercise etc he is so resistant to change it's unbelievable and he becomes almost 'stuck' in a routine which brings him comfort but in the same instance is so unhealthy.

For example at school lunch they have pudding after the meal..why
now he wants pudding after every lunch and dinner!

I am trying to deal with the snacking but it is causing major tantrums and this has been a very unhappy Easter break, though I know that ultimately I need to be stronger and only tough love will change this situation...but it's really hard.